Last chance with chick gotta make it count... need help guys

[Bingo-Player]

basically a girl i was heavily involved with a few years ago has just split with her BF of 3 years and she wants to start talking again......

the way i left things with her wasn't the way i wanted it to end but i genuinely thought the grass would be greener on the other side and it wasn't , i lost her through my own arrogance and it was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made with a woman

but id had accepted she had moved on and figured she was happy with this new guy and would eventually have his kids so i let it go because it was doing me more harm than good to keep thinking about her

now that she's back on the market my emotions are all over the shop ....

I've never had to deal with a situation like this

my thoughts at the moment are

1) do i just carry on with my life and leave her get on with hers

2) do i take her out on a date and see how she really feels

3) how the fvck do i stop myself from oneitis'ing her


like i said never had to deal with this sort of scenario before and could really use some advice from someone with a little more experience before i throw myself in at the deep end

 

[Epimanes]

Stay away from rebounding chicks.. Let her sort her head first unless all your after is some head and tail. If that's all you care about there is plenty of other fish in the sea that you haven't caught and released so get fishing.

 

[strongbrah]

Simply stop giving a fvck, if you're gonna fail nothing is going to happen. Jump in the fire if you want to or gtfo. Simple. I can't decide this kind of shyt for you. And if I did decide for you, it would mean you have no independence and integrity.

 

[MoreThanAGame]

This is simple. If she "wants to start talking again" that means she is contacting you. Next time she texts/calls, set up a date.

Just follow the basic rules and you'll be fine:

1. Set up one date per week

2. On dates, let her do most of the talking

3. Escalate

4. Do NOT initiate a text/call more than once per week

5. The phone is for setting up dates. When she calls/texts you, set up a date and get off the phone.

You also need to work on your mindset. Oneitis is something that girls can pick up on through your subtext (body language, tone of voice, etc.). In other words, if you're thinking, "Oh God, don't fvck this up, don't fvck this up..." SHE WILL NOTICE, and her interest level will drop. Be independent, man. And open up your mind to the fact that there are other fish in the see... then start fishing. That's the best way eliminate those "oneitis" thoughts from your brain.

 

[Albatross953]

Above. Top marks from a guy with six posts.

 

[VladPatton]

I'd say to forget it. She will infect you with terminal oneitis. You'll lose frame, confirm you have zero options/prospects, and she'll have full control over you until she meets another guy only to dump you hard. You're entering the octagon with two broken legs and an arm in a sling.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Ha-ha thanks guys some solid responses there and you’ve all confirmed i need to limit my availability to this chick

After a decents nights sleep I’ve come to my senses and calmed down

unfortunately I have decided i can’t just let her go without even trying to game her because on the flip side of becoming a critical oneitis she actually has so many of the qualities i look for in a woman it would be stupid not to and fvck me shes so fvcking hot !

i need to walk a fine line with this chick and keep my game water tight at all times , i know i can do it just gotta find her weak spot and exploit the fvck out of it

gonna let her get over this guy first if shes still single in a few weeks il take her out

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Agreed with most of the others.


1) do i just carry on with my life and leave her get on with hers

Yessir. I do this with any chick I meet nowadays; almost never initiate meeting up, may be one time in 4 or 5. She's going to be all over the place, more so than you.

2) do i take her out on a date and see how she really feels

Seems like you got to grips with the plan, from your last post. If she initiates meeting, go for it and escalate. Don't bother thinking about the future with this bird for at least the next 6/12, because she almost certainly wont be either. Have fun. The further along I go, the more I realise that's all chicks really want.

3) how the fvck do i stop myself from oneitis'ing her

Do other things and meet other women. Hit the gym (harder) and make yourself sexy-looking. My pangs of neediness are getting shorter and easier to deal with month by month, woman by woman because I am just occupying my mind with other things. You know this.

The most she wants right now is attention and a quickie. When she realises you are not only interested in her, her intrigue will increase.

 

[Bingo-Player]

The most she wants right now is attention and a quickie. When she realises you are not only interested in her, her intrigue will increase.

and thats exactly the weakness i was looking for nice one TMK

will keep you posted folks with this :rockon:

 

[SoSuave666]

Here's the problem when you say "last chance..." You have already set up outcome in your head. You are going with the intention of turning this girl into an LTR. When you go in with that mindset, YOU LOSE. I don't know enough about the situation to understand what this girl wants, but if I were a betting man, I'd say she is on the rebound and wants access to easy d!ck, or access to easy emotional affection after her breakup. Either way, I doubt she is looking for an LTR.

So, as you sit there, debating whether or not to set up dates, consider two things: 1.) What do you want out of this "last chance"? 2.) What does she want in contacting you? My conclusion is simply that you want to game her to the point of an LTR, and she wants to use you for secks/emotional affection. Methinks this is not going to end well for you.

 

[Bingo-Player]

the phrase “last chance” was for my benefit not hers,

because i don’t want to be bouncing backwards and forwards with her wondering what may or may not have happened between us

yea she is on the rebound and she does want emotional affection but she doesn’t have to get it from me ?

shes the kind of girl that will have every orbiter and his dog flocking in to give every ounce of emotional comfort she could possibly want now that shes single

i won’t be that guy I’m going to swoop in unexpectedly give her the time of her life , fvck her so hard she can’t walk and then disappear of the face of the earth to sit back and relax