last chance with 1itis, can u save it once her mind is nmade up?

[pete101]

i had words with my oneitis and it made things worse cos she was like 'do u think talking to me like this all seriously is going to make me like u again?' i realise this wasnt the best tactic cos she's fed up of me and wants to get rid of me but i know before she had such high interest in me. i finally got the answer out of her that she wasn't having fun anymore seeing me and i been so serious.

i have our last 1 hour meet up this week where if she still feels the same way then i'll walk away, i told her this. she wants to get rid of me. if she is already in the 'it doesnt matter what he says im still gona feel the same way' attitude going in is it possible to break it down with an action date rather than talking?

im really good at tennis and i was suppose to teach her a while ago and cos she doesnt know how to play i would be on her side of the court most of it, do i want to aim to avoid sitting 1 on 1 with her cos she'll be very defensive if say we went for coffee, if it's an action date then her mind will naturally wander and have bad feelings disappear. is this a better move?

i just want to have a fun non-threatening meet up showing my fun side again reminding her why she liked me so much before. (meanwhile im starting to get new plates cos i know that this likely to be finished)

 

[alphaace]

I have been in your same situation before (2 years ago), cutting through all the BS I could tell you about my story to make you feel better, the best thing you could do is cancel your little 1 hour meet up and drop out of her existence. Oneitis is a DISEASE and you should avoid it like one.


If she wants to know why you are canceling just tell her you have better sh** to do with your time. Don't be polite with your words, she obviously doesn't care about your feelings because as you state she just wants to get rid of you, so why should you care about her feelings? Being a nice guy isn't going to win her over and im sure everyone will agree with me on that one.


Go have fun and f*** your plates as hard as you can.

 

[BlackJackal]

short answer :No

 

[pete101]

i was thinking going bowling might be better cos it gives me an opportunity for her to have fun and take away bad feelings she has for me, so if she gets a strike and will be happy i can hug her and spin her around.

however, what about just laying one on her later on and just kiss her if she's being a little bit more receptive?

i may get slapped, or she might smile but as this is all last ditch any emotion wave is necessary,

 

[1337]

Pete what the hell is wrong with you? You seem like a creep to me.

That's what I'm thinking right now of you and the girl will do the same if you don't pull no contact and drop out of her existence. Her minds made up and if she doesn't like u like that, she never will and only use your for tennis practice . Go after other chicks plenty as in more than 1 at a time.

 

[pete101]

she had high interest in me before but then i made it all serious and it wasn't fun anymore for her so she changed her mind. the damage may be done but i need to remind her why she liked me in the 1st place.

is my bowling idea really not going to make up for acting too forceful?

 

[Proselytiser]

**** dude. You have been here 3 years. What is wrong with you?

I implore all DJs on this forum to ignore pete101 until he drops out of this girl's life totally and completely. Have a look through his recent posts if you need convincing.

pete101, read the bible.

 

[BlackJackal]

i was thinking going bowling might be better cos it gives me an opportunity for her to have fun and take away bad feelings she has for me, so if she gets a strike and will be happy i can hug her and spin her around.

however, what about just laying one on her later on and just kiss her if she's being a little bit more receptive?

i may get slapped, or she might smile but as this is all last ditch any emotion wave is necessary,

How about No?

 

[ENIGMA16]

pete101 I'm not saying this to be rude, but you are completely fvcked in the head. You need time to yourself (i.e. being single) to work out all your issues, and perhaps counseling.

She is not going to take you back. Period.

I predict that she will cancel/flake on you or she will go and you will push her further away than before because you just don't fvcking get it.

Dumping someone is hard. Make it easy on her and move on.

 

[Da Realist]

Dude, you're stepping in front of a rolling boulder. The best thing you can do is just take it as a lose and keep moving. Even if you do come out being funny, she's not going to be receptive towards it because it will seem forced and she's not attracted to you anymore. When you see hwe, you'll just be a court jester dancing to get the queen's attention.

I say just cancel the meeting unless you're the type to honor his word to the T. If she can't see how good you are, her lose. She wants someone to make her laugh, but she can't loosen up enough to let you do that. It's best to just chill for a while and get yourself together.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

It's too late.

You acted like a pvssy too many times.

This one is done. Any more of your time spent chasing this girl will only be a further source of embarassment for you in the near future.

A man has to know when to make himself a rare commodity. That time has come and passed, now you just need to dust yourself off and get going.

 

[Ease]

It's too late.

You acted like a pvssy too many times.

This one is done. Any more of your time spent chasing this girl will only be a further source of embarassment for you in the near future.

A man has to know when to make himself a rare commodity. That time has come and passed, now you just need to dust yourself off and get going.

Good post. The worst thing to do in a interest level drop situation is to talk to her about it.

The best way to deal with it, is to stop caring and withdraw from the relationship.

Read Roissy in DC, to quote him,

If she takes 1 step back from he relationship, take 2.


At this point it is probably too late. If there is even a 1% chance that you will be able to keep a relationship with her, the only thing to do would be to CANCEL THE DATE AT THE LAST MINUTE.

Act super aloof, uncaring, and give a simple reason. Say to rescheduel but be vague and withdraw hugely from the relationship for some time. A week, or 2. Avoid calls, basically dont talk to her for 2 weeks. If she texts, then be very short and curt in replies.

If at the end u get in a conversation, after the No contact period, and she mentions the whole issue. Act like nothing major happened at all and dont talk about the no contact period at all. Say you were busy and you both needed space. Then u can recreat some sort of relationship after getting her interest level up, but u need to sort out your AFC-ness majorly.

If that doesnt work, then nothing will. But right now, assume nothing will, and go out and find new prospects.

 

[Danton1975]

I might be mistaken, but If I were you, I would call this girl right now and say the following:

"I thought about our date, if I can even call it that, and it's funny, but a few days apart from you, made me realize I am probably not as much into you as I thought I was. I mean, I think and care about you more like a sister than a GF. Yesterday, I went out, and it was fun and exciting, like the old times again. So let's not meet anyways. Probably will see you around some day too."

Give her a chance to respond...and find an excuse to end the call very soon after you have said the above.

Now...she very likely WILL NOT come back to you EVER, but this will give you as good a chance of her coming back as you'll ever get. Know that this is very likely beyond repair.

 

[Mr. Bond]

Man, forget her. I promise there are plenty of women out there.

 

[The Grey Fox]

My thoughts on this oneitis ****.

You could have been born into any one of millions of different social settings. You could have met billions of different people and you can bet your life in each one you will have met someone you're crazy about. It's by pure chance you know the people you know, there's no such thing as star crossed lovers and no one is that special that you couldn't have felt the same way about someone else! So pull your head out of their a**.

p.s and for god's sake dude stop being creepy and let it go. You have 491 posts on here and what the hell are they all for?? take a look at yourself dude and sort it out. Cut any PUA crap you may have going on, it's sad and lame anyone who buys into all that is a loser, and they are not getting laid like a regular cool guy gets laid.

 

[tsmith2334]

I'm having great luck with a former 1itis at the moment.

My trick? She's no longer my 1itis.