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Large number of online flakes, why so many?

jackhamma

Don Juan
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May 20, 2014
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I use tinder, pof, etc. and I meet a lot of women. I talk for a bit, get there number, chat for a few minutes and it seems to be going well.

as soon as I try to set up a date, they go ghost. some literally gave me there number and said lets get together! I text them, they respond all excited and then i ask when they are available and they vanish. Like 6 this week already lol it's crazy...why give me your number?

i am new to the online thing but am I better off staying off online sites and just game in the real world? I am very social and go out often so. what do u guys think? Why such a high flake rate online?
 

apprenticedj

Senior Don Juan
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Sep 17, 2013
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Pretty much par for the course with online dating. As other advise on this site I would recommend using OLD as supplement to real life gaming, IE in bars, out on the town, daygaming etc. It's a great tool but it's too unreliable as your only source of prospects. At least you can better gauge interest when a chick is right in front of you in person.
 

pdx1138

Master Don Juan
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why so many flakes?

There are many more men then women online. It's a feeding frenzy.
They get tons of messages every day = options.

If they flaked, they found a better option.

Get used to it. But keep fighting the good fight. You lose most...but you win few, just keep trying.
 

gravityeyelids

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This is not them flaking on you for the date. this is you failing to set up the date in the first place. In my experience, yes women are flakey...but i haven't had much trouble setting up dates via tinder. Flaking once the time comes for the date....yes. If they have high interest and you don't muck it up...a lot of times you're good to go as long as you push for the meetup, and if you dont make any big mistakes or be real awkward....especially if you're physically attractive.

First off, work on your text/online game. Online dating game is extremely similar to texting game. In fact, most of it should take place via text because you NEED to transition to texting VERY quickly after opening them. I would say an average of like 10 messages back and forth, if not less, before you bounce to text. Once you bounce to text, you cannot pu$$yfoot around setting up the meetup. You have to assume that many of the girls arent going to go for it, so it's a complete waste of time sending dozens and dozens of messages to each girl. At that rate, you are never going to meet up. Establish JUST enough comfort via texting so that she knows you're not a creeper and feels relatively comfortable. If she's not feeling it, move on.

HOW YOU ASK them is important. As well as WHERE you are meeting them. I've found that, overwhelmingly, coffee dates are the absolute best. It's a low-pressure, public place. It's cheap so it doesnt look like you're trying to buy her way into her pants, unlike an expensive dinner or something. Meeting up for a drink is also an alternative.

When you ask them, it's normally not a good idea to BAM just come out with it. It's nearly always a good idea to both seed the idea early in the conversation as well as slip it in casually when you do ask her. Much like a kiss close, It should not seem like a sudden, big deal. It should merely be a natural progression in your getting to know her, with you as the confident man who has no trouble leading the interaction.

And if they're giving you their number and asking to meet up....be skeptical. First off, just like my dear mother said years ago, "if something is too good to be true, it normally is." They're often low quality and/or much less attractive in person. You should expect at least a little token resistance, unless you're looking for the bottom of the barrel. If they straight up ask you.... dont be so easy. Flip the script and joke around and act like you are the skeptical girl who's afraid of meeting up with a "rando" or a "catfish" because they might be a psychopath or a stalker or something.

Braddock's guide to phone and text game was a vital resource for me. highly recommended.
 

El Payaso

Master Don Juan
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Because it was merely a source of instant validation for them. They just want to make sure they've still "got it". Sad, I know.
 

3agle 3yes

Master Don Juan
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I would listen to gravityeyelids if I were the OP...he's spot on.

I've only tried online dating briefly so I'm not an expert but in general never go on traditional dates.

Always make a meet up just that, be as reluctant as they are by insisting it's NOT a date...
 

skinnyguy

Master Don Juan
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Sep 2, 2013
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Part of it is your game isn't tight enough, part of it is they are AW's who get off from the amount of messages they get
 
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