Ladies first...

[GrowingPains]

Let's get to choppin' this fable...

A woman has never given me head or touched me sexually first. Even when they're in my bed. It's always that I initiate and sometimes they follow.

They'll let me kiss their neck, body, breasts, whatever. But sometimes it stops at just that. Sometimes only after I go down on them or I say I want 'x', they'll do it. I can tell when I'm turning them on.. usually while kissing the neck or playing with the cl!t but I'm curious what could be stopping them from wanting more or trying to initiate things themselves?

I don't claim to be some sex god either. I'm decent and am very much still a student of the game. Is this a similar experience for others? I think my expectation that they will easily reciprocate or initiate is p0rn inspired? Or maybe I'm just not doing it for them.

One time a girl asked me if I even liked her when I started to advance. Another time a girl told me it was her period week. But that's not stopping you from sucking this thang... Although we did just come from the club. Earlier this year I was kissing a chick's body and feeling her up but she stopped it and said she had to go to this party with her friends (I can accept that obviously she was more interested in meeting her friends than continuing what we had going on). These were all first dates.

It could be a lot of reasons why things aren't happening the way I want them to... any ideas on things I can try out?

 

[wifehunter]

Stop trying.

 

[GrowingPains]

Stop trying.

Hm.

I think what you're saying is to stop trying to get them to initiate or to be more reciprocal - be indifferent? Can you explain a bit more..

 

[wifehunter]

Hm.

I think what you're saying is to stop trying to get them to initiate or to be more reciprocal - be indifferent? Can you explain a bit more..

No

 

[GrowingPains]

No

Good talk.

 

[Epic Days]

I don't understand this one. Getting oral from her is generally the very first thing I get. Some kissing is all it takes. I've had three women in my life, that's all they wanted from me. The act of s@cking me off was all.

I do have a theory about it. You can take it for what it is or toss it out if you want. It's just a theory. It's actually a compliment of masculinity. Contrary to normal thinking, when shes giving you head, she is in the power position. She's in control and running the show. The more masculine/dominant the man is, the more she wants to snatch up that power position. I think it does a lot of things for a woman. The power position is what she can get and in her mind it brings her closer to the masculinity/dominance.

It can be a way for her to get into the lead position with a lot of men. Give a man a BJ and she can own him in a lot of cases. It's really how you approach it. Pleasing me is her job. That would be the right frame. Somebody mentioned not wanting it above. Think about this a little bit. By wanting it, it could make a woman not deliver that. Neediness. Insecurities. You are attaching your value to it.

I would say expect it. Don't say anything about it unless you are capable of that kind of dominance. Just flat out expect it. I would never be with a woman who did not love that. I guarantee you. There's been plenty of men she couldn’t wait to go down on. It's incredibly feminine. If you are not being masculine enough, she will not feel feminine enough or submissive enough to go after whats in your pants.

 

[GrowingPains]

I do put a lot of value in getting laid. Not as far as my self worth, but because I'm horny as fvck and haven't gotten any in a while.

So it makes sense that it shows in my actions. Trying so hard to get them turned on and wanting it. I can see truth in this.

I'll work on it. I'll have to think about how but I'll share how I'm gonna approach changing when I have a better idea.

Thanks @Epic Days

 

[Epic Days]

I want you to master it. You owe it to yourself.
Masculine/dominance turns them on.

 

[RickTheToad]

@GrowingPains, for me, some automatically go there, others I play with their pvssy a little bit and get them nice and wet. After that I place my member in front of her mouth and then we get down. I also reposition to laying down so she has a better angel. You need to guide her to what you want. Be the guide.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Most, but not all girls I have slept with have given me head without my saying anything. It's not often very good head but that's another subject. It's also maybe not a good idea to compare your experience to mine because we could be dating very different types of women. I just mention it so you know that many women DO initiate.

First thing: Are you trimmed down there? Not overly hairy or shaved way too short or bare? Are you sure you smell ok down there? These two things are very important.

Next thing is that most women like to be lead in bed, just like they do in a relationship. You do this by simply telling her what to do in bed. When she does it, you reward her. Rewards can be comments/validation like "you make me so hard when you do that", or, "you look so ****ing hot when you do that," or it could be reciprocation.

 

[backseatjuan]

A) man should lead.
B) stop licking cvnt, you suppose to fck it.

You're not masculine enough.

 

[RickTheToad]

A) man should lead.
B) stop licking cvnt, you suppose to fck it.

You're not masculine enough.

No licky then sticky (after STD test, of course)?

 

[wifehunter]

Good talk.

lolz!

 

[Kotaix]

You need to spark an attraction in them before you try to kiss them or make out with them, that's probably why you're getting rebuffed. Make them laugh, let them feel safe, be charming. This is your responsibility. Check out The Flow by Dan Bacon for this.

Also, stop being such a prude and let your inner animal out. Take what you want, it's what they want you to do.

 

[GrowingPains]

Good advice. Will let it marinate and put it into action.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It’s hard to describe. You have to touch them like it’s your birthright to desire them. You have to not go straight for the *****. Work around the boobs, neck, up your kissing game all that ****. Sometimes soft lingering kisses are even better than deep kisses.

Also, when she stops you, you must stop. That shows her you respect the boundaries. Stop then reinitiate in 5-10 minutes. If she’s truly not trying to **** she will leave. 9/10 they just aren’t quite primed YET so you have to be a little persistent but calibrated.

 

[Shrubber101]

I get head without asking but I never ask cos I honestly don't find it that pleasurable. Honestly never understood why guys make such a big deal out of it.
Maybe my tally whacker is numb through years of self abuse but then again I don't like sport either so I maybe missing a male gene somewhere.

 

[Spaz]

I don't like sport either so I maybe missing a male gene somewhere.

LMAO!

 

[Spaz]

It's your vibe.

When it comes to sex it's all about body language.

Women need to "smell" that raw male hunger to be drawn into a sexual beast themselves.

They don't need small talk, permissions and whatever shiet good guy stuff that many metrosexuals does whilst in the bedroom.

Just plain raw hungry sex is a powerful aphrodisiac for all women, from strong feminist to demure feminine women.

Deep down they all want to be fvcked hard and be dominanted in bed.

 

[RickTheToad]

I get head without asking but I never ask cos I honestly don't find it that pleasurable. Honestly never understood why guys make such a big deal out of it.
Maybe my tally whacker is numb through years of self abuse but then again I don't like sport either so I maybe missing a male gene somewhere.

Your penis pump doesn't work right. You prob. inadvertently damaged the nerve endings by doing the knuckle shuffle too much. Need to lay off a bit dude.