good advice alek...
i personally have trouble meeting women (in my living room) so i was thinking about doing a scattershot/clusterfvck of any and all club kinda stuff myself.
for original poster-
i disagree that confidence is all here. i know a lot of socially inept guys who focus on mere confidence and they come off as insipid, delusional jerkoffs.
confidence combined with ineptitude makes you dangerously incompetent. kinda like someone trying to operate a nuclear reactor on confidence alone.
you do need to work on skills. but first step is admitting you have a problem. and you do! and you KNOW. that's huge. there are tons of guys who are completely oblivious to how awful they come off.
now that you know, keep practicing with your frat and friends. do what you do but now OBSERVE... what you do, how you do, what others do, how they do. your friends are now a class. study.
oh, and here's an unconventional bit of advice in a dj forum:
read PROVERBS in the old testament (actually, all the "wisdom" books are really good - ecclesiastes is great when you feel like everything sucks). lots of good bits of wisdom. be careful with the stuff about simply keeping your mouth shut though. for a dj, that's deadly. but in situations where you don't need to get laid, the principle kinda works.
and a somewhat biblical principle in general that may not come across in the wisdom books: if you act from fear, you lose. if you interact simply to GAIN VALIDATION and ACCEPTANCE, if you are trying to get people to LIKE YOU, if you are focused on WHAT YOU ARE GETTING OUT OF IT, you lose.
generally, if you act out of LOVE, if you are selfless and genuinely seek the well being of others, if you are concerned with them and their lives, if you LOSE YOURSELF and can focus on the other - you will immediately be well received.
BE WARY HOWEVER - it can be a SUBTLE thing! someone who's cracking jokes and being funny can be doing it to SELF AGGRANDIZE and inevitably he looks small and like a jerk. but if you do it simply out of a sense of fun, to put people at ease or entertain them, then you are acting from selflessness and oddly enough, that ends up helping the "self" better than any greedy grab for glory.
basically, are you SELFISH or SELFLESS. do you suck energy or put it out. do you take and take or do you give and give. actually, STYLE sent out a recent newsletter that had just this message.
also do a search in amazon for "aphorisms"... they're nuggets of wisdom. they really can illuminate on wise courses of action and bits of behavior....
delta
