Lack of relationships

[oc16]

Was just talking to a woman online (which I don't take too seriously to begin with) and she was taken aback by my lack of relationships at my age (44) and the conversation got awkward since it is sore topic for me.

Why do women care so much about how many relationships you have had or how long?

I told her I don't live in a great area for dating (truth) and I don't date just to date. I know there are some people out there who get into relationships since to them it is better than the alternative (being alone)

I am the opposite, if I truly don't want to get to know the woman better; I would rather be alone.

The problem is, I only meet women I want to get to know better once in a blue moon.

Let's be honest, most of the good ones are taken.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I guess they wanna make sure you can be in a relationship

 

[Robert28]

Women take for granted how easy it is to get in relationships for them. They can go from one to another in no time.

 

[oc16]

I guess they wanna make sure you can be in a relationship

True. The whole topic just makes me upset because I start thinking about all the guys I see out in public (no better looking than me and worse) walking around with women I find attractive. You ask yourself the question. Where are these guys meeting these women? Why are they having luck and not I (us)? Smh

 

[oc16]

Women take for granted how easy it is to get in relationships for them. They can go from one to another in no time.

Yeah, she was like.......I've had four already and most people our age have had a few. She is right to a point. I know a few guys my age that are always in relationships and I know just as many guys who always seem to be alone.

 

[Mike32ct]

“How long was your longest relationship?” or maybe something like “What happened with your last relationship?” are kinda standard questions chicks ask during a first date or before.

I was on a first date last night and got that first Q.

Always say “a year” lol.

I’m not saying I agree with such questions, but they do ask.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yeah, she was like.......I've had four already and most people our age have had a few. She is right to a point. I know a few guys my age that are always in relationships and I know just as many guys who always seem to be alone.

Some people fall in and out of relationships without even trying. Others, typically certain guys, will struggle to find them to begin with. It’s two very different realties.

 

[RickTheToad]

Was just talking to a woman online (which I don't take too seriously to begin with) and she was taken aback by my lack of relationships at my age (44) and the conversation got awkward since it is sore topic for me.

Why do women care so much about how many relationships you have had or how long?

I told her I don't live in a great area for dating (truth) and I don't date just to date. I know there are some people out there who get into relationships since to them it is better than the alternative (being alone)

I am the opposite, if I truly don't want to get to know the woman better; I would rather be alone.

The problem is, I only meet women I want to get to know better once in a blue moon.

Let's be honest, most of the good ones are taken.

They don't want someone who doesn't know what they are doing. Next time, just make something up. Be mysterious, not an open book.

 

[SW15]

I told her I don't live in a great area for dating (truth)

I had to move home due to economic problems during The Great Recession. My mom does not live in a good area for dating. Very few singles in their 20s in this city, which was the age I was at the time. I had no choice but to move.

You needed to move a long time ago.

she was taken aback by my lack of relationships at my age (44) and the conversation got awkward since it is sore topic for me.

You're going to need to exaggerate.

Why do women care so much about how many relationships you have had or how long?

Women believe that if other women were able to date a guy, he must be worthwhile.

The whole topic just makes me upset because I start thinking about all the guys I see out in public (no better looking than me and worse) walking around with women I find attractive. You ask yourself the question. Where are these guys meeting these women? Why are they having luck and not I (us)? Smh

They probably had better social circles than you have.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Here's your ace in the back pocket

When you are being scrutinized:
"Unfortunately, most people *need" relationships. They feel lonely otherwise. If you've ever had a relationship and you felt alone while with them, then you probably understand why I prefer quality over quantity."

 

[SargeMaximus]

True. The whole topic just makes me upset because I start thinking about all the guys I see out in public (no better looking than me and worse) walking around with women I find attractive. You ask yourself the question. Where are these guys meeting these women? Why are they having luck and not I (us)? Smh

I hear you man. Gotta be social skills and I also believe betaness plays a factor. The more beta the more likely a “mark” for a relationship

 

[SW15]

“How long was your longest relationship?” or maybe something like “What happened with your last relationship?” are kinda standard questions chicks ask during a first date or before.

The majority of my first dates over the years haven't bothered to ask me on the first date. I seem to recall some instances where women didn't ask me about this until after I had sex with them.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Relationships are boring as fvck

 

[B80]

Relationships are boring as fvck

Yeah. Also for me is the restrictiveness (compromise) that has to be made, which no matter how 'alpha' you claim to be, has to be a measure of if you want the relationship to last.

People are wired differently, so each to their own, but having been in relationships - longest being 12 years, 5 years of marriage, I prefer being able to spend my 24 hours as I want and not make any concessions, over the benefits of companionship that many derive from them. Plough hours into my online business, gym, going out with friends/aquintances when I feel like being sociable, go out for long drives as I love fast cars, go away on trips last minute or even 'wasting' time on things like video games every now and then.

I know some mention people in marriages/relationships live longer, but I can;t help feeling this is down to a lot of men being incapable of eating healthy, looking after themselves, drinking regularly etc. I don;t feel remotely lonely or stressed not being in a relationship tbh. I'm not making any particular effort to date or go MGTOW, just enjoying living as I want, on my own terms (within reason of course).

But in regards to OP, just be vague about it. I wouldn;t tell the truth tbh, as similar to the escort thing, no real benefit in telling the majority women you haven;t been in many relationships or that they didn;t last long. They'll just see it as a red flag most the time.

 

[corrector]

Welcome to the incel club.

 

[B80]

Welcome to the incel club.

I'm hoping to make it into the 'Chincel' club one day (somebody on here touted it a while back).

 

[BadBoy89]

Was just talking to a woman online (which I don't take too seriously to begin with) and she was taken aback by my lack of relationships at my age (44) and the conversation got awkward since it is sore topic for me.

Why do women care so much about how many relationships you have had or how long?

Better yet, why would you tell a total stranger you met online about your dating experience, or lack of? What do you think she way going to say: “You don’t have much experience, I’m in love!”

Men often load the bullets, give the girl the gun, and then get upset when the women shoots to kill. If you don’t want her to shoot to kill, don’t load the bullets.

 

[Clamslammer]

They don't want someone who doesn't know what they are doing. Next time, just make something up. Be mysterious, not an open book.

The irony of this is funny. If they knew what they were doing in a relationship they wouldn't be jumping from relationship to relationship.

Next time someone ask you just tell them I don't go from relationship to relationship. If I am going to agree to be in a relationship with a girl then I see her as something long term.

 

[metalwater]

if it wasn't that; it would be something else that she would be taken aback by. be Teflon.

some or maybe most women dig for topics that we are brittle with and then start picking. It's a sign of medium interest. low interest just wants to get away or do nothing or be entertained and high interest will not find ANY brittle topics and will even take efforts to avoid the same.

The best you can do is keep it light, funny... and don't cave into the "come on open up to me" stuff. Medium interest is really not comfortable for her. She wants to sort that into low or high, so medium interest is where all the brittle issues get picked at.

the topic will be gone at least for a while as soon as her emotional feelings change. so if you can change the topic into something exciting or funning or dramatic (careful on that last one) then you can avoid the question.

 

[CoandaEffect]

I have not had that many relationships myself so I often find myself in this situation. Sometimes I will just be very vague and sometimes I just lie about the number and length of past relationships.

The thing is though that if the lady really cares about that stuff she is not really into you and she is trying to justify nexting you. Keep looking until you find a lady that does not ask you about your past. That lady really digs your vibe and will be more fun to hang out with.

When I was on OLD if she asked me why I had never been married I would not even answer, I would just move on. If they care about that stuff they do not care about you.