flowtheory
Master Don Juan
Well it’s been almost a year. My life has changed, in many avenues, for the better. I stumbled upon this forum in March this year. Ive learned a lot and am still in that process and will be for my entire adult life, and I enjoy it greatly. There’s an abundance of knowledge here; pots of gold dispersed in threads, if you have the desire to scavenge for it and apply it to your own life to see if it works. Apply being the key word.
Since learning more about masculinity, and techniques to employ to navigate this terrain with women and my own life, it’s increased my overall life’s satisfaction, whilst opening up my mind to deeper learning in other areas. I literally can’t wait to see where I’ll end up because of all this in 3 years.
Because to me, it’s not about getting the women or to be result driven. Results are a feedback which show us what may or may not work and we simply repeat that to create what it is we want. Don’t take it too serious but more merely as a never ending experiment.
Through all of this year, I found It’s about value. A value in my self that maybe I forgot somewhere along my journey with the opposite sex. Something that was tricked out of my sight from struggling esteemed women who wanted to control a vulnerability of mine for their own gain. I allowed. Or even a scorned self to make me believe I have no value; the worst kind. And in turn, I believed my value was contingent on being accepted by others, rather than just myself; the man in the mirror.
So to deepen my learnings I figured I would share it with you all. Because it’s important. It’s why this forum exists. To share so we can learn from our and others experiences. The ideas and concepts which have fed my own personal power for the better:
1. Time
Time is ephemeral. Subjective. The most valuable commodity every single person with a heartbeat possess. Also very overlooked and taken deeply for granted. The amount of time we dole out to things is incredible when you do the arithmetic. Time spent on people or objects which take away, rather than pay dividends. The difference between successful and the non are how they choose to invest time. Whatever you want in life, invest in that.
Where women are concerned, spend time with the ones who give back to you; which are in alignment with your personal values as everyone’s here differ. Make time spent quality time, and don’t simply give them all your time. Less, is often more in life. Women should be 1/8th of your weeks time. The other 7/8th’s should be invested in to hobbies, education, family/friends, exercise, self care, career, and health.
Pursue what is meaningful rather than expedient.
“People over estimate what they can do in a year, but underestimate what they can do in three”.
Generally, go for long term outcomes. That’s where the soul is. Whatever comes easy from my experience, isn’t really worth it. And it goes away just as quick. Whatever takes hard work, persistence, patience and dedication is worth it.
2. Attention
Much like time they are close. I look at Time and Attention like brothers or cousins. We have to be cautious and aware what or who we give our attention to. What it is we aim at on a daily basis. What our reticular activating system is focused on. Because that’s what we’ll see. It’s what colours our paradigm.
Ever watch the black vs white team passing the basketball on youtube? It proves the point impeccably. Psychology experiment. Check it out.
When I was depressed at one point, it was because of my focus; my perception. Perceptions change and so can what we give our attention to. If you’re unhappy with someone or an aspect of your life, ask yourself... what am I choosing to focus on and why; Is this constructive or destructive?
Our focus is because of what has happened to us, or what it is we’re trying to cultivate. Choose wisely, because what you may be focusing on, could be in conflict with what you actually want.
3. Choice
We’re always choosing. You choose to wake up at 7am, or 10am, or 2pm. To come on SS or not. To ask her out, or not. No one is making you do anything; unless you’re a slave. How you react to life or people is a choice. What you say is a choice. What you put in your body to fuel your brain; choice.
That woman who is stringing you along? That’s because you’re choosing to allow that. That woman who you’re cultivating a fantastic relationship with? That’s the result of your choices because of your values. Our lives today are the sum total of all of our choices.
Victims don’t take responsibility. And your existence is your responsibility. No one else’s. Life is difficult and can be filled with malevolence at times. But your responsibility is to make the best choices for your life; or choose to suffer the consequences later. And they will come. Rest assured that the compound effect is working in the background. Always. So choose to make the right and best choices for you. The rest will fall in to place. Stop doing what is only best for others at the cost of yourself. Your value in your own eyes will depreciate.
Choose to spend your time and attention on the things and people which fill your cup higher everyday, so you have more value in this world and in turn have more value to give others, so they can fill their cup. Positive momentum and reward system.
Be a leader in your own right. That’s Alpha.
Cheers. To 2018. Go for what you want in 2019, to set up your life for the new coming decade. Everyday is a day to start over. Stop the things which are hurting you, and start the things which invigorate and strengthen you. Stop waiting for handouts or silver bullets. Start putting in the work; because that’s what a man does.
Stop comparing yourself to who people are today. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday and be just 0.01% better.
Peace
Since learning more about masculinity, and techniques to employ to navigate this terrain with women and my own life, it’s increased my overall life’s satisfaction, whilst opening up my mind to deeper learning in other areas. I literally can’t wait to see where I’ll end up because of all this in 3 years.
Because to me, it’s not about getting the women or to be result driven. Results are a feedback which show us what may or may not work and we simply repeat that to create what it is we want. Don’t take it too serious but more merely as a never ending experiment.
Through all of this year, I found It’s about value. A value in my self that maybe I forgot somewhere along my journey with the opposite sex. Something that was tricked out of my sight from struggling esteemed women who wanted to control a vulnerability of mine for their own gain. I allowed. Or even a scorned self to make me believe I have no value; the worst kind. And in turn, I believed my value was contingent on being accepted by others, rather than just myself; the man in the mirror.
So to deepen my learnings I figured I would share it with you all. Because it’s important. It’s why this forum exists. To share so we can learn from our and others experiences. The ideas and concepts which have fed my own personal power for the better:
1. Time
Time is ephemeral. Subjective. The most valuable commodity every single person with a heartbeat possess. Also very overlooked and taken deeply for granted. The amount of time we dole out to things is incredible when you do the arithmetic. Time spent on people or objects which take away, rather than pay dividends. The difference between successful and the non are how they choose to invest time. Whatever you want in life, invest in that.
Where women are concerned, spend time with the ones who give back to you; which are in alignment with your personal values as everyone’s here differ. Make time spent quality time, and don’t simply give them all your time. Less, is often more in life. Women should be 1/8th of your weeks time. The other 7/8th’s should be invested in to hobbies, education, family/friends, exercise, self care, career, and health.
Pursue what is meaningful rather than expedient.
“People over estimate what they can do in a year, but underestimate what they can do in three”.
Generally, go for long term outcomes. That’s where the soul is. Whatever comes easy from my experience, isn’t really worth it. And it goes away just as quick. Whatever takes hard work, persistence, patience and dedication is worth it.
2. Attention
Much like time they are close. I look at Time and Attention like brothers or cousins. We have to be cautious and aware what or who we give our attention to. What it is we aim at on a daily basis. What our reticular activating system is focused on. Because that’s what we’ll see. It’s what colours our paradigm.
Ever watch the black vs white team passing the basketball on youtube? It proves the point impeccably. Psychology experiment. Check it out.
When I was depressed at one point, it was because of my focus; my perception. Perceptions change and so can what we give our attention to. If you’re unhappy with someone or an aspect of your life, ask yourself... what am I choosing to focus on and why; Is this constructive or destructive?
Our focus is because of what has happened to us, or what it is we’re trying to cultivate. Choose wisely, because what you may be focusing on, could be in conflict with what you actually want.
3. Choice
We’re always choosing. You choose to wake up at 7am, or 10am, or 2pm. To come on SS or not. To ask her out, or not. No one is making you do anything; unless you’re a slave. How you react to life or people is a choice. What you say is a choice. What you put in your body to fuel your brain; choice.
That woman who is stringing you along? That’s because you’re choosing to allow that. That woman who you’re cultivating a fantastic relationship with? That’s the result of your choices because of your values. Our lives today are the sum total of all of our choices.
Victims don’t take responsibility. And your existence is your responsibility. No one else’s. Life is difficult and can be filled with malevolence at times. But your responsibility is to make the best choices for your life; or choose to suffer the consequences later. And they will come. Rest assured that the compound effect is working in the background. Always. So choose to make the right and best choices for you. The rest will fall in to place. Stop doing what is only best for others at the cost of yourself. Your value in your own eyes will depreciate.
Choose to spend your time and attention on the things and people which fill your cup higher everyday, so you have more value in this world and in turn have more value to give others, so they can fill their cup. Positive momentum and reward system.
Be a leader in your own right. That’s Alpha.
Cheers. To 2018. Go for what you want in 2019, to set up your life for the new coming decade. Everyday is a day to start over. Stop the things which are hurting you, and start the things which invigorate and strengthen you. Stop waiting for handouts or silver bullets. Start putting in the work; because that’s what a man does.
Stop comparing yourself to who people are today. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday and be just 0.01% better.
Peace