OkoYono
New Member
Short version of the story: Met a girl last Friday at my favorite club and we started kissing after maybe 15 min. of conversation. The club closed, we went to her house, I was hoping for a little more action of course. However, on our way there she repeatedly told me we weren't ending up in her bed together. I brushed that off with a little humor and thought, "fine, I needn't f*ck her right now" and got her number.
Went for drinks with her last night after she had called me on Tuesday (when I didn't have time) and yesterday (shortly before the date).
So we drink our beers and decide to go to another bar. Outside of the first bar, the moment I first touch her -- I was giving her a slight hug from the side -- she said, "that's not the way I imagined this to be" (inappropriate translation from German ;-).
I did not react very well. I stayed calm at first, but I was a little offended and didn't manage to hide it. Stupid me. I turned very quiet. We walked around in the streets a little like that, talking very little. Then I said, "I'm going home now, bye" and left. On my way to the underground station I received a call from her. She basically told me she thought I'm stupid for being offendend like that; she thought we might just go for drinks as friends; and "if I had wanted to go to bed with you I could have done so on Friday [after the club]". In other words, she had fully rejected me the night we met, and I didn't notice. In her version, at the very least.
I immediately called a friend and got drunk, trying to figure out my mistakes and destroying the frustration before it took over
So, what exactly were my mistakes? Obviously, me not staying calm after her LJBF kind of rejection. But the one question for all you experienced fellows out there is this:
At what point in the story could I have foreseen that this might not be the sure f*ck close I had imagined it to be? My thoughts had been like, "hey, we were kissing, which also felt great, and she called me, she even made time for me tonight, she must be very interested."
[Additional note: Getting the girl's number after the club did somehow not feel very good. Maybe I should have listened to my intuition?]
[Tell me if you need anything explained in more detail. I am very willing to learn from this encounter.]
Went for drinks with her last night after she had called me on Tuesday (when I didn't have time) and yesterday (shortly before the date).
So we drink our beers and decide to go to another bar. Outside of the first bar, the moment I first touch her -- I was giving her a slight hug from the side -- she said, "that's not the way I imagined this to be" (inappropriate translation from German ;-).
I did not react very well. I stayed calm at first, but I was a little offended and didn't manage to hide it. Stupid me. I turned very quiet. We walked around in the streets a little like that, talking very little. Then I said, "I'm going home now, bye" and left. On my way to the underground station I received a call from her. She basically told me she thought I'm stupid for being offendend like that; she thought we might just go for drinks as friends; and "if I had wanted to go to bed with you I could have done so on Friday [after the club]". In other words, she had fully rejected me the night we met, and I didn't notice. In her version, at the very least.
I immediately called a friend and got drunk, trying to figure out my mistakes and destroying the frustration before it took over
So, what exactly were my mistakes? Obviously, me not staying calm after her LJBF kind of rejection. But the one question for all you experienced fellows out there is this:
At what point in the story could I have foreseen that this might not be the sure f*ck close I had imagined it to be? My thoughts had been like, "hey, we were kissing, which also felt great, and she called me, she even made time for me tonight, she must be very interested."
[Additional note: Getting the girl's number after the club did somehow not feel very good. Maybe I should have listened to my intuition?]
[Tell me if you need anything explained in more detail. I am very willing to learn from this encounter.]