Kino without using your arms

[Murph]

Hey there fellas...

I'm a 21-year old student at SC, and I have a disease called Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. The gist of it is I use a wheelchair and I have limited use of my arms.

Now, I'm a very positive guy and I have no issues with confidence and the like. But I'm trying to figure out the best way to simulate some kino. Once I get over the first hump of awkwardness and the girl and I are comfortable, I can easily get kino from her.

Just that initial kino...

Do you think some kind of verbal comment would work? My plan is to say something at the end of our first meet-up like:

"You know how you touch someone on the shoulder when you've had a great time with them? Well, one of the only things that's tough for me is making that physical contact...'cause I'd really like to touch you."

Any feedback would be much appreciated. I don't know if that particular phrasing is too lame or corny, or too sexual, or not sexual enough. I'm also not sure when in the convo I should say it. I don't want it to sound forced.

Thanks!!

 

[Kaine]

"You know how you touch someone on the shoulder when you've had a great time with them? Well, one of the only things that's tough for me is making that physical contact...'cause I'd really like to touch you."

You have my sympathys, it must be very challenging in your situation.

The only thing I can offer is that the above quote is 'creepy' don't use it.

I don't know how limited your movement is could you hold her hand perhaps some 'palm reading'?

Kaine

 

[iCY]

about the only things u can reach with ur arms are her legs. some good kino right there. sometimes when i sit down and the girl is standing next to me, ill put my hand on her legs(inner thigh down)

 

[AverageFC]

using your knees...playing footsie maybe?

 

[California Love]

Hopefully, you will be able to find an intelligent and caring girl that will realize that she may have to take the initiative when it comes to physical contact. If you know the girl well, I think the line you mentioned is appropriate, taking into account your positive and confident mentality. If it is hard for you to move, the only other way would be to engage in a romantic activity or discussion that inevitably leads to kino. Overall, I think women will be more than happy to initiate contact because it is harder for you to do so, and they realize.

If the topic is not too sensitive, I've read that only a minority with Duchenne muscular dystrophy live past their 20s. Hopefully, there have been treatments that help prolong the lifespan? You sound like a good person, and I hope the best of luck in your fight against the disease.

 

[DJLegion]

Originally posted by California Love If the topic is not too sensitive, I've read that only a minority with Duchenne muscular dystrophy live past their 20s. Hopefully, there have been treatments that help prolong the lifespan? You sound like a good person, and I hope the best of luck in your fight against the disease. [/B]

You have bigger balls then me. I just read something that said it's hard for people with the disease to live pass 30's. I didn't feel comfortable saying it though.

Murph, I really admire what you're doing especially in that type of a situation. I wish you the best.

 

[rgeere]

I am actually rooting for you, and I want you to suceed in finding some happiness in your life. It'll be hard, but you can manage somehow.

 

[skinnydart]

This isn't meant to sound insulting but.. how are you typing this?

I wouldn't worry to much about inniciating the kino. Some people may see it as a little "creepy" anyway. As long as your girl can see, she should be able to figure it out and if she's interested in you she'll be the one to inniciate it. I would focus more on the other aspects of your game, like C&F, etc.

Good luck to you, it sounds like u have the guts.

 

[evolvingnerd]

congrats murph
sounds like a real man actually does grace these boards once in a while

i'm glad to see ur living your life

all the best, but perhaps try putting your wheelchair a little too close to her and bumping knees and legs

you'll know that if when you touch legs, and she doesn't recoil, that yuo'r e in

cheers

 

[Murph]

Hey thanks a lot for the advice and compliments!

skinnydart, I have some small motor function so I can use a trackball mouse, and I type using a combo of a voice-activated system and the on-screen keyboard that comes with windows.

To the other guys, I've read anywhere from 15 years old to 30 years old. I just kind of laugh at that. My thing is I can only deal with the present, so I just stay positive and live life. I did some traditional and holistic treatments......but the mind and the spirit are very powerful tools as well.

Ok back to dj-ing... I can see how that last part would sound creepy. I just wonder if there's a smooth verbal way to do it. Although, like it was said, the right woman will take the initiative.

It can be a challenge to break down those initial barriers and stereotypes...but I find that the same techniques for projecting your confidence work for showing people I'm "normal".

 

[duke007]

Hey Murph, this thread of yours brightened my morning.

Let the girls sit on your lap and give them rides. You should be able to invite them in a way that doesn't sound creepy.

I saw this cool wheelchair-bound guy in a small club last year who was a hit with the ladies. He was getting triple the attention I was. They'd all dance while facing him and then crouch down really close and talk. It seemed he was mentally kinoing them just in the way he sat and used facial expressions.

The guy did nice spins and moves and got an audience during a breakdancing comp. If you can do that kind of thing in your wheelchair, make the most of your talents.