King of Beers

Mr. Wolf

Banned
Joined
Sep 27, 2007
Messages
722
Reaction score
5
What do you think King of Beers is? Is it Budweiser? Miller Light? Whatever?


I bet you wrong. Your taste in "high end" beers is wrong.


You see, for all those classy cheesy fansy a55 expensive beers they make commercials. They pay millions to run those commercials. They pay you to like them. But a true king of beers does not need commercials. Instead, people buy it, enjoy it, and make their own commercials for this beer.

Let me introduce you to the true king of beers. Natural Ice. Check out its peoples' commercials.


You can buy it a gas station, or a lycer store, cheap, and drink it. It's a true king of beers because it will get you really fvcked up. No other beer comes close to its potency.

Let's say you spend $12 at a 12 pack of Budweiser select, you drink all 12 and the next day you can't get up. But with Natural Ice, you could buy a six pack for $5.99, get really fvcked up, and the next day you'd be just fine. Natural Ice is a true king of beers.


I hate it when I go to lycer store and bring Natural Ice to the counter and they roll their eyes on me. Like it's a bom beverage or something. I say it's better than the classy beers, and it's cheaper too.

I hate it when I go to a bar and ask for Natural Ice, they tell me they don't have that. I say what's wrong with you!


Natural Ice should be enjoyed alone or in a company of a very bautiful lady under the stary night sky, with romantic candles. It's that good, either you enjoy it by yourself, or the girl has to qualify to enjoy it with you.


Nah, guys. When the beer is so famous without commercials, you know it's the king of all beers! Natural Ice is the king of all beers!
 

Dilberto

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 21, 2007
Messages
221
Reaction score
2
Have you guys ever tried the IMPORTS? My top five favorites are:

1) Pilsner Urquell(Czechloslovakia)
2) Warsteiner(Germany)
3) Stella Artois(Belgium)
4) San Miguel(Philippines)
5) St.Pauli Girl(Germany)

I've tried THEM ALL(over 350 kinds), during my alcoholic/drinking days. The ONLY American beer I highly regard, is Samuel Adams. The rest are just nasty.
 

Capt.Jack Sparrow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 3, 2003
Messages
857
Reaction score
8
Age
35
Location
Fontana, California
1. New Castle Brown Ale
2. Becks
3. Dos Equis
4. Pacifico
5. Tecate
6. St. Pauli Girl
7. Sol
8. Caguama
9. Rolling Rock
10. Busch
 

Fred Da Head

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 21, 2002
Messages
959
Reaction score
4
American beers suck ass. They don't even deserve to be called beer.

They should be called, rightly, "near-frozen gnat's urine." Except for "lite" beers, which should be called "weak, near-frozen gnat's urine."

(I don't remember where that's from, but it's not mine. I just agree with it.)
 

Capt.Jack Sparrow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 3, 2003
Messages
857
Reaction score
8
Age
35
Location
Fontana, California
Fred Da Head said:
American beers suck ass. They don't even deserve to be called beer.

They should be called, rightly, "near-frozen gnat's urine." Except for "lite" beers, which should be called "weak, near-frozen gnat's urine."

(I don't remember where that's from, but it's not mine. I just agree with it.)
thats why bro, stick to imports! I have a thing for Ale personally :D
 

Mr. Wolf

Banned
Joined
Sep 27, 2007
Messages
722
Reaction score
5
All 10 of those beers will get you sick. And unless you're a girl you could drink a 24 pack and nothing happens. Imports are trully borring.
 

Fred Da Head

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 21, 2002
Messages
959
Reaction score
4
Mr. Wolf said:
All 10 of those beers will get you sick. And unless you're a girl you could drink a 24 pack and nothing happens. Imports are trully borring.
HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA! That's the funniest thing I've heard in a looooong time, sunshine. Keep drinking your watered-down piss, I'll take real beer, ales, and lagers.
 

STR8UP

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2002
Messages
6,911
Reaction score
123
Mr. Wolf said:
All 10 of those beers will get you sick. And unless you're a girl you could drink a 24 pack and nothing happens. Imports are trully borring.
Uh, yea, Natural Ice is good stuff....uhuh :down:

You wouldn't know a good beer if one jumped up and slapped you in the face.

You want strong? Try some of the new "Double" micro brews, a barley wine, or a nice Belgian abbey ale. Any beer that has a CORK will likely fukk you up.

Oh yea, Dogfish Head Worldwide Stout. From www.dogfish.com

World Wide Stout

Availability: Limited

Release Date: November 2007

YES! This is the beer you've heard so much about. Dark, rich, roasty and complex, World Wide Stout has more in common with a fine port than a can of cheap, mass-marketed beer. Brewed with a ridiculous amount of barley. Have one with (or as!) dessert tonight!

18+% abv
Yes, that's 18% alcohol. And believe it or not, it's very drinkable and tastes AMAZING.

You can keep you toilet water, thank you.
 

Fred Da Head

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 21, 2002
Messages
959
Reaction score
4
18%? Holy crap. Sounds like my kind of beer! That being said, it's probably cheaper (and easier) to just go buy some rum, or maybe bourbon.
 

STR8UP

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2002
Messages
6,911
Reaction score
123
Fred Da Head said:
18%? Holy crap. Sounds like my kind of beer! That being said, it's probably cheaper (and easier) to just go buy some rum, or maybe bourbon.
It costs about $8 for a SINGLE 12oz bottle, but it is absolutely amazing.

It's WAAAAAY cheaper to buy hard liquor, but you will never experience a beer like Worldwide.
 

Mr. Wolf

Banned
Joined
Sep 27, 2007
Messages
722
Reaction score
5
$8 for a single can of beer is rediculous. Even more rediculous is sharing one can of beer with your friend. No thanks, I rather buy a 12 pack for $6.
 

armadon

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 13, 2007
Messages
187
Reaction score
3
I make my own beer so I am the King of Beers! F*ck your piss water.
 

Mr. Wolf

Banned
Joined
Sep 27, 2007
Messages
722
Reaction score
5
STR8UP and you are both confused. It's not toilet water, it's beer. It comes canned and bottled. Only select few can enjoy it, others dismiss it in favor of something safer. So, good job staying safe for both of you, boys. Also, wear helmet and look both ways when crossing road.
 

ketostix

Banned
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Messages
3,871
Reaction score
55
I actually think budweiser (not bud light) is a pretty good beer for the price. People talk about this or that import beer being so great and I think it's just a bunch of baseless opinion. A lot of these people don't understand brewing and are just stating an opinion or a preference. Budweiser is made of all natural ingredients and because of it's great sales volume they can make a quality product at a lower price.I don't like to buy anything foriegn when I can get a good american product.

Budweiser has never given me a headache or a hangover and will get you drunk. I don't really care for beer with over a 5% abv for everyday drinking. If you drink 4-5 of them in a 2 hour period you'll will get a buzz. If not then you probably have a drinking problem anyway.
 

Fred Da Head

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 21, 2002
Messages
959
Reaction score
4
4-5 american beers over a 2 hour period will get you a buzz? Wow, I knew you guys were lightweights, but I didn't think it went that far! No wonder Americans can't keep up with Canadians when it comes to drinking.
 

STR8UP

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2002
Messages
6,911
Reaction score
123
Mr. Wolf said:
$8 for a single can of beer is rediculous. Even more rediculous is sharing one can of beer with your friend. No thanks, I rather buy a 12 pack for $6.
1) It's not sold in a CAN. Most CANNED beer is cheap swill made with fillers and adjuncts.

2) I'm all for finding value, but in this case you get what you pay for.
 
Top