Kind of simple and weird?

[asdfmastah]

Hi,

New here and I have a problem (which may seem probably simple to you but strange to me).
Never had problem with dating girls, never had the problem of approaching them, always confident, making them smile, taking their numbers - case closed.
I almost always had a date set up about a week later (or usually the next day/evening).
Here is this girl (we are 23) whom I approached the same way, got her number etc.

Now the problem is to set up a date with her. She rents a room to be close to the university and sometimes on Thursday she goes back to her family (which is like 150km from here). I tried to set up a date and she was "Ok, we will talk the details later" Here is how it looked this month:

Week 1 (she went home): Family, to do stuff for the uni.
Week 2 (went home): Again, uni stuff
WeeK 3 (went home): Friend's birthday party
Week 4 (stayed, I couldn't meet up): ...
Week 5 (stayed): Friend got a surgery, she promised to be with her
Week 5 (Saturday): She still accompanies her after-surgery friend, can't meet up

The problem for me is... If she said no, the problem would go away and I wouldn't even post this. She said Yes! but can't meet.
We have a common friend and she said that she couldn't meet up with her too (which would eliminate the "i don't want to hurt your feelings but I don't want to meet you".

So what do I do? New situation to me really.

As for texting I text her maybe 3 times a week (with additional 1-2 replies if she answers back). I thought I would give her a week off? See if she is somewhat concerned that she couldn't meet me.

Hope you guys can shed some light here.
And please be blunt! If I made a crucial sissy mistake - I must know!

EDIT: Nope, not friendzoned, she knows I am into her.
EDIT2: Can't meet up during the week (different schedules) so I shot at Friday evenings and Saturday evenings.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Is she counter-offering?
If not, she's trying to let you down easy and you should quit chasing and leave the ball in her court.
If she was passionately interested in you, she'd crawl over broken glass to meet you.
From what you've said, she has mediocre interest at best and you should seriously reconsider continually letting her flake.

 

[narcissist]

^Exactly. Perfectly said.

Also she may have had high interest in the start, the reason why she said "yes" to begin with. With each consecutive flake on her part, and each of your counteroffers she lost that initial interest because you showed too much neediness. After the first flake, you go no contact. This is so you can gauge her interest level and see if continual interaction with her is merely a waste of time. If she doesn't counteroffer she obviously has zero interest - aka never talk to her again, waste of time. If she messages you and wants to meet up, then its a done deal - you know she has at least marginal interest.

Where you made the mistake was counter offering 5 times, ASSUMING interest, where in my opinion there was none.

Move on, spin more plates, increase your arsenal of women. And in no time you wont care anymore.

Goodluck.

 

[asdfmastah]

Thanks guys, learning by mistakes

 

[asdfmastah]

A little update guys!

Well, just as you said it did not turn quite good. We had 2 dates, 02.05 and 18.05.

The dates were good, I did not do anything which could be counted as needy or weird etc. I questioned her answers, saying the opposite of what she could expect etc.

Well, the reason I am writing this again is... she said that I have everything a man needs, she really likes me though - She said that I did not have the "spark"? the something special? She had no feelings. I asked then why did she agreed to have a 2nd date? The reply: To be sure...

Now, I just want to know, was there something that turned her off? I paid the bill, I brought her home... I gave her a little Kinder surprise (a chocolate egg with a toy inside - it was a litte after Eastern and she DID enjoy it!) We had a good walk. The things that I noticed were:

- No eye contact during a walk, rarely making eye-contact at all (though she did not maintain eye contact even when I introduced myself the very first time).
- I touched her hand slightly, she did not squeeze to allow me to go the next level (interlocking our fingers to hold hands).
- Near the end of the date when it was time to say goodbye and watched her eyes and leaned very slowly and she turned away. Big turndown. So that is why I knew it's not good.


Was there something I could have done earlier? What is this spark? She is meeting another guy now, told me so. I am asking because I don't want to make the same mistake...

Thanks in advance!

 

[cervantesscthree]

Is she counter-offering?
If she was passionately interested in you, she'd crawl over broken glass to meet you.

Real talk. I'm taking that one and letting others I know hear that little dose of truth.

 

[cervantesscthree]

You said you did nothing which could be counted as needy or weird etc, well:

I paid the bill, I brought her home... I gave her a little Kinder surprise (a chocolate egg with a toy inside.

That sounds needy.

What is this spark? She is meeting another guy now, told me so.

Don't bother with trying to figure out what the spark is (maybe that's the spark?). Her telling you she's meeting another guy is a pleasant request to end the relationship, or encounter.

You said you've had no issue with getting women, so ignore this hiccup and maybe try to give a fvck less, and put less energy into any woman you think is going to act like the one you've posted about.

 

[asdfmastah]

The very first date I paid the bill, we went to play pool or rather I wanted to teach her that. And I gave the Chocolate egg on the second date and it was because of Easter, a small gift.

You guys are assuming those were mistakes?

I think I am still attached to her because what did she look like, blond-long hair, green eyes, nice physique. Maybe we did not hit it off as we did not have a lot of in common... We both liked walks though.

Anymore insights? And thanks for the replies!


EDIT: And yes, I will move on. I don't want to make those kind of mistakes. I am thinking this hiccup made me stronger in a sense, set my priorities straight and the drive to be a better human being... (sounds poetic).

 

[Greasy Pig]

No spark = boring as bat shyt.
It sounds like you're too nice and that will make a woman's v@gina dry up faster than catching her parents doing the deed.
Sure, you did everything your blue-pill conditioning has taught you that women want in a man, but the truth is they need excitement, drama and uncertainty.
They want to laugh until they have tears streaming down their face.
They want to be challenged and don't want a man who's a pushover.
Read the DJ Bible and subscribe to Rollo's blog. It's time to swallow the red pill and open your eyes to game and its benefits.
You need to be part nice guy, part sexual predator and part arsehole. The nice guy part should be the smallest part of you.

 

[LMFAO]

You touched her hand slightly after two dates? Jesus f***** Christ.

Forget about her and move on.

 

[marmel75]

Your confidence approaching and getting their numbers initially does not translate to in date performance...

You "held" her hand after 2 dates? Gave her a "present"? Seriously?

Basically she told you were too "nice" and she has negative sexual attraction to you. They thought they were getting one thing after your approach but then feel "tricked" after finding out you aren't what they thought you were. They are likely pretty disappointed...

 

[pyros]

probably she liked your appearance but after two dates she concluded that you do not make her wet, ie, she doesn't really enjoy spending time with you.

1 you should have gone for a kiss on the first date
2 you should have gone for a kiss on the secon date

Anyway, she's not into you, and she is honest about it, so move on. Nothing else you can do.

 

[asdfmastah]

Thanks guys!

I always found that weird as I could easily take numbers... but the magic disappeared right after 1-2 dates...

I will swallow the red pill, reading the DJ Bible right now... So many mistakes I've made...

Hope I will find another beauty as she was...

NOPE! Not thinking about her, I am thinking about my type.