kind of a terrible situation

[ohwellokay]

Just stumbled upon this forum and thought it might be a good place to seek advice. I'm 20 and an average looking guy that has had girlfriends in the past, but I am also the kind of guy who gets walked over by woman a lot. For as many girlfriends as I've had, I've had more platonic relationships that just seem like being used. This is by far the worst situation I've ever been in.

I met her about a year ago while she was in a relationship with a horrible, abusive *******. We became friends although I wasn't really that interested in her at first. Eventually her boyfriend dumped her, we became a lot closer and I started falling for her. Of course she had none of the same feelings as me and was still devastated over losing her bf. We became really really close soon after that. To the point where we are together every single day. And each day that goes by I seem to like her more, and now it's become a serious problem for me. She lost her place and moved in with a friend, except she hates staying there and I let her stay at my place almost every single night. She doesn't have a car, so guess who drives her to work and picks her up every single day? She doesn't make very much money, so usually when we do something I always pay.

And that's not even the worst thing. That abusive ex she cries to me about all the time? Yeah, well they're still ****ing and guess who she asks to drive her to his place and pick her up from? I have no self-respect it seems.

I don't want it to make it sound like I hate her or anything. I would be more than happy accepting she doesn't have anything more than platonic feelings for me and moving on as her friend, but she makes that impossible. I don't know if she does it on purpose or is just completely ignorant, but everytime I want to try and move on and spend less time with her she'll say exactly the right thing or do something that keeps me running right back to her. And I have no chance of meeting another girl to keep my mind of her because we are together ALL THE TIME, and she scares away any potential girls because everybody assumes we're a couple. I feel like we are a couple except for we never have sex or make out or anything. I mean, we even sleep in the same bed most of the time and still, nothing. It's the weirdest, most frustrating relationship I've ever been in. I know I only have myself to blame for letting it get this way, but I can't help it. I am so attached to her the thought of losing her sounds way worse than keeping things how they are, even though I'm going insane. I hate to admit but she has complete control over me.

So yeah, I'm ****ed. Any advice or anything would be appreciated.

 

[ArcBound]

It's frustrating for you but its really clear what she's doing here. Like you said you feel like you have no self-respect so you know what's going wrong... She is just sucking you back into her circle. She will dangle you and keep giving you hints but she will be the only one with satisfaction.

I say start reading the DJ Bible and start becoming independent of her. Of course she will say things like "Oh! Why are you mad at me blah blah we never hang out anymore blah blah" and do things to suck you back in, but you said it yourself multiple times: you have no self-respect, she has complete control over you, its frustrating and you are going insane.

 

[freshprince]

DUDE MAN UP! seriously
thats not a relationship, its a friendship and you dude are in the friend-zone big time, and that is not what you want. You are letting this chick take advantage of you, be a man and dump this chick, kick her ass to the curve man, no matter what she says don't fall for it, she thinks your a wimp prove her wrong!
NO one has control over you, only you have control over you

 

[ENIGMA16]

I met her about a year ago while she was in a relationship with a horrible, abusive *******. We became friends although I wasn't really that interested in her at first. Eventually her boyfriend dumped her, we became a lot closer and I started falling for her. Of course she had none of the same feelings as me and was still devastated over losing her bf. We became really really close soon after that. To the point where we are together every single day. And each day that goes by I seem to like her more, and now it's become a serious problem for me. She lost her place and moved in with a friend, except she hates staying there and I let her stay at my place almost every single night. She doesn't have a car, so guess who drives her to work and picks her up every single day? She doesn't make very much money, so usually when we do something I always pay.

You are what is known as the "emotional tampon". You are her friend that she lets all of her negativity out to, and so she can be happy with everyone else. While you are the one she turns to to complain about something, she's never going to f*ck you or think of you in that way. Ever.

And that's not even the worst thing. That abusive ex she cries to me about all the time? Yeah, well they're still ****ing and guess who she asks to drive her to his place and pick her up from? I have no self-respect it seems.

You see? She gets all her negativity out to you and then goes and f*cks him.

I don't want it to make it sound like I hate her or anything. I would be more than happy accepting she doesn't have anything more than platonic feelings for me and moving on as her friend, but she makes that impossible. I don't know if she does it on purpose or is just completely ignorant, but everytime I want to try and move on and spend less time with her she'll say exactly the right thing or do something that keeps me running right back to her. And I have no chance of meeting another girl to keep my mind of her because we are together ALL THE TIME, and she scares away any potential girls because everybody assumes we're a couple.

Well she doesn't want to lose her emotional tampon so she keeps you locked up tight.

So yeah, I'm ****ed. Any advice or anything would be appreciated.

Advice: Run, as fast as you can, away from this crazy b!tch that is draining your life from you. All this girl is doing is spewing her negativity at you so she doesn't have to deal with it, and is making sure that you stay in that role. She's ruining your life. Get the f*ck out now.

Go no contact completely. Don't talk to her at all. If you accidentally run into her or something act nice but distant, and get out quick. Leave it at that. Go take some time to yourself, talk to other girls, and be free. Then tell us if you want to still be the tampon for this psycho.

 

[ohwellokay]

Yeah, thanks for the advice. I kinda knew that's what I need to do but it's nice to see it laid out like that so brutally honest. I'll try the no contact approach starting today.

 

[starplayer]

Is this for real? LOL seriously.

1) Grow some balls!

2) Walk away and never look back. Get her out of your life.

3) No matter what she says, what she does, what she promises you DO NOT LET HER BACK IN.

4) Meet new girls and never let this sort of thing happen again.

Here's some advice on how to NEXT her: NEXTing

Good luck man.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Just stumbled upon this forum and thought it might be a good place to seek advice. I'm 20 and an average looking guy that has had girlfriends in the past, but I am also the kind of guy who gets walked over by woman a lot. For as many girlfriends as I've had, I've had more platonic relationships that just seem like being used. This is by far the worst situation I've ever been in.

I met her about a year ago while she was in a relationship with a horrible, abusive *******. We became friends although I wasn't really that interested in her at first. Eventually her boyfriend dumped her, we became a lot closer and I started falling for her. Of course she had none of the same feelings as me and was still devastated over losing her bf. We became really really close soon after that. To the point where we are together every single day. And each day that goes by I seem to like her more, and now it's become a serious problem for me. She lost her place and moved in with a friend, except she hates staying there and I let her stay at my place almost every single night. She doesn't have a car, so guess who drives her to work and picks her up every single day? She doesn't make very much money, so usually when we do something I always pay.

And that's not even the worst thing. That abusive ex she cries to me about all the time? Yeah, well they're still ****ing and guess who she asks to drive her to his place and pick her up from? I have no self-respect it seems.

I don't want it to make it sound like I hate her or anything. I would be more than happy accepting she doesn't have anything more than platonic feelings for me and moving on as her friend, but she makes that impossible. I don't know if she does it on purpose or is just completely ignorant, but everytime I want to try and move on and spend less time with her she'll say exactly the right thing or do something that keeps me running right back to her. And I have no chance of meeting another girl to keep my mind of her because we are together ALL THE TIME, and she scares away any potential girls because everybody assumes we're a couple. I feel like we are a couple except for we never have sex or make out or anything. I mean, we even sleep in the same bed most of the time and still, nothing. It's the weirdest, most frustrating relationship I've ever been in. I know I only have myself to blame for letting it get this way, but I can't help it. I am so attached to her the thought of losing her sounds way worse than keeping things how they are, even though I'm going insane. I hate to admit but she has complete control over me.

So yeah, I'm ****ed. Any advice or anything would be appreciated.

Kick her out of your house.

It will be hard but she MUST go.

Tell her that you two are NOT in a relationship (if she protests, remind her that she still fvcks her bf...) and you are NOT her daddy.

This will be hard to do, but this girl is turning into cancer on you.
I don't care how much you like her, want her, don't want to hurt her, whatever - SHE MUST GO.

The bottom line is, until she goes, you WON'T be able to get yourself a better GIRLFRIEND.

 

[Iceberg]

You gotta leave this girl, buddy. And that's that. She's not your family and she's not one of your best friends either. You're not responsible for taking care of her during her rough patch in life.

She's a negative influence on you whether she means to be or not. You gotta walk away for your own good. And I know you have all these feelings for her and whatever, but really....do you want to stoop so low as to dating this weak, needy little creature? Abusive boyfriend. Mooching off her friends. Any girl who'd let her life sink this low isn't worth your time in the first place. Sounds like she'll be working at Wal-Mart and strung out on meth in a year.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Have some self respect bro. It honestly saddens me to read something like that. I truly hope for your sake that you take control of your life and stop letting this b!tch use you like this. Even if she was screwing you, that type of behavior still isn't acceptable. You're a young dude, there are literally a thousand other girls out there for you that are better for you than this. In the end you can hear all the advice in the world but it's up to you to sack up and make the change. There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path, as Squirrels (and Morpheus) likes to say. Good luck man.

 

[hydroheathen]

I Am In The Same Fvcking Boat Man And Its Bull ****

 

[Metaphysical]

I can tell by your username that you are spineless.

"Oh well, okay".

That says: "walk-all-over-me".

Man up. How are you gonna let a girl half your size step all over you and run your life?

 

[Rescue Mission]

I can tell by your username that you are spineless.

"Oh well, okay".

That says: "walk-all-over-me".

Man up. How are you gonna let a girl half your size step all over you and run your life?

The self-chosen username also gave away this guy's pvssyness instantly.

Based on my thread on the forum about not giving certain guys advice because it will be useless, I am assuming that the original poster is one of those pvssies who will never listen to any advice that a real MAN offers him.

So hey buddy, I didn't read your thread, and I don't need to.......just enjoy being a total bytch-azzed pvssy your whole life, say hi to the single mom that raised you

 

[Ease]

You are a gaybestfriend.

Infact you were, but then u sank lower and started doing favours. You are her bich.

Even worst, you were her bich, but she now lives in your house and is using you big time. It doesnt get much worst my friend.

There is no such thing as 'feelings'. There is only 'gina tingles', otherwise known as interest level. She has absolutely no gina tingles for you.

Gina tingles are a direct result of game, something you need badly.

Forget gaming this girl, you need to save yourself and throw her out asap.