Kids at 29

[Jasmine]

Hey,

i am dating guys here and there at the moment... no-one special just yet.

I just wanted to ask you all, if a girl you were dating (1st or second date)said that she wanted to have kids at 29 (it casually comes up in conversation, she didn't state it as a warning or anything) and shes 25, would you freak out? Would you take it that the girl wants to tie you down as soon as possible?

Thanks,
Jas

 

[Iceberg]

Have kids at 29?!?!?! MY GOD!

No. You said nothing wrong, what's the big deal?

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

You've got a basic plan on how you want your life to unfold...

All you got to do is find that guy who has the same idea in mind. Brining this up in a conversation is totally OK.

The Bad Ass Canadian

 

[[A]rtful[DJ]]

Originally posted by Jasmine
Hey,

i am dating guys here and there at the moment... no-one special just yet.

I just wanted to ask you all, if a girl you were dating (1st or second date)said that she wanted to have kids at 29 (it casually comes up in conversation, she didn't state it as a warning or anything) and shes 25, would you freak out? Would you take it that the girl wants to tie you down as soon as possible?

Thanks,
Jas

I fail to see why any sober guy should be troubled so much by this as to be freaked out. If the guy was really freaked out then you are not telling us the full story here.

 

[REDblueOI]

I want to get married when I am 30 and have kids as soon as I make sure my love isn't going to cheat on me and take my money... which means if I marry a woman I might be waiting an offly long time ! Theres nothing wrong with knowing what you want... but if you sound adamint when you say it...

"Hi, I'm sarah, I want to have a son on my 29th birthday"

Your going to freak ppl out. A better way to phrase it "I'd love to have children as I'm nearing my 30's" Don't be specific, the more flexible you seem the more comfortable the guy will be in the conversation.

 

[ShortTimer]

Originally posted by REDblueOI
which means if I marry a woman I might be waiting an offly long time

Maybe you should marry a man instead then.

 

[Jasmine]

Haha shortimer!!!!!!!!

Thanks guys... It was more hypothetical that anything else... This is what I want and i just wanted to know how a few guys (such as yourselves) would react to it if it came up.

Any other thoughts are appreciated!

Jas

 

[CGE333]

I would telll her that we had better start practicing right now

No it would not bother me, although I don't think things always go according to plan as far as that goes.

 

[comote]

It really depends on the guy and how soon you say it.
One of my friends has been starting to hear that sort of thing from his gf and it is starting to stress both of them out. Guys like to keep things as light as possible as long as they can.
If a girl at 25 were telling me that, I would probably think

"She wants to have all her kids by 29"
( notice the difference in wording)
"2.5 kids at 1 year a pop she has to start at 26"
"****, she wants me to propose today"
So yes, I do think some guys(me included) would get freaked out if this came up too soon, but that should not stop you from being honest about what you want, but like it was said before, try and seem flexible.

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Lets talk about it over dinner tonight.. whatta ya say 7'ish? 8)

 

[Walden]

I was waiting for someone to do that

I'd be sh!tscared. But I'd probably be sh!tscared if someone suggested kids at 39 also.

 

[Jasmine]

Originally posted by comote
Guys like to keep things as light as possible as long as they can.

this is the main thing, isn't it? Would I be right in saying that most guys would prefer to live in the moment than to be thinking too far ahead?

 

[Bungo Pony]

Personally, I'd freak out if a girl said that too soon. If you're going to tell a guy that, make sure the two of you are in a LTR, and you can actually see him with you in the future. You know what you want, but you have to also find out what he wants. If he doesn't want kids or has no desire whatsoever to start a family, he's not right for you. For a man and a woman to work well in the future, they must have the same ideas as to what they would like regarding the family situation.

 

[comote]

Originally posted by Jasmine
this is the main thing, isn't it? Would I be right in saying that most guys would prefer to live in the moment than to be thinking too far ahead?

I would not say it is about living in the moment or thinking too far ahead. It's about the vibe. Even though you want to have kids, if a guy on a date were to tell you that he wanted to settle down and have kids within the next couple of years wouldn't that kind of freak you out?
I will tell you the truth, when a woman talks about marriage or kids too soon I immediately start getting a desperate vibe from her.