Go salsa dancing, or ballrooom dancing etc. Any form of dancing where their is one person who typically leads.
Dancing and I have a special relationship. I have rythm but am totally unable to count to 4 while maintaining it. This leads to a very interesting situation. While I am totally clueless in dance classes or learning dance steps I have been told on more than one occasion when I relax and dance solo that I am good dancer (not leading partner within distinct rules like salsa etc). I can do the dance steps if I have seen them and just relax and let the music move me. Unlike most people I could be a choreographer because I make the dance as opposed to following a recipe I learned in a class thus my dance is often very different than anything they have seen.
When I dance with some women I am a very good dancer (well good anyways), but when I dance with other women it is just painful. I figured out the difference a few days ago, when i dance with women who keep the count 1.2.3.4 etc we do well, I can see from their body position when to spin them etc, I still need work on varying different salsa moves etc but I can do the basic steps.
So I have decided to learn to salsa dance mainly cause I like dancing and would like to be able to do it on a regular basis. And in my several trips to the dance club I have learned some things that you can see for yourself if you go to a partners dance club.
1) The best dancers all want to dance with each other. Being the best at something makes others who are good at that want you...regardless of physical appearance. The best male dancer was a 4 and overweight and had no problems.
2) Many of the best female dancers I found attractive once I saw them dance. Some of them were not all that attractive before. HB7 becomes HB9 when dancing etc. #1 works both ways.
3) Most women will dance with you once even if they don't really want to. If you dance well they will dance with you in the future although perhaps not more than one dance a night.
4) Women mostly can't really dance.
#4 is the thing I realized recently that I really didn't understand. When I go to dance I have asked women to dance who were glad to dance with me. But once they see that I am not a good salsa dancer it is amazing how fast IL drops. OK that isn't really a problem as I am not looking for romance just for partners to get my couples dancing skills up.
What was totally shocking though is that most women can't dance without the man basically forcing them to move everywhere. I mean totally can't dance. When I have danced with women who could do the 1-2-3-5-6-7 (salsa is weird in how they count to eight in 6 beats lol ) we did ok. They set up the basic step I lead on the variations and we do ok.
I was blessed in that my first and third dance partners had rythm and were able to set up a basic step and relax and let me lead when I was ready. We made lots of mistakes but since we both have rythm we had fun and when we dance together one of the best female dancers came up and introduced herself to me. She is HB7 I am bout 7 but I suspect her interest was more in my dancing than in me. Another guy (who dances a lot) said you must have taken lessons what style of dancing was that? (I have never taken lessons and been dancing less than 10 times in my life).
My next dance partner is learning to salsa but fancies herself a "dancer" she knows the moves but doesn't really have strong rythm. We don't dance well together. She doesn't say it but she blames me. She either wants me to lead on everything or she tries to lead both are recipies for disaster. When she relaxes and holds the basic count we do ok but not like my first or third partners.
Last night I went out without any of my dance partners and danced with strangers. As soon as I did all the women became frusterated. They needed me to keep the count to maintain even the basic 1-2-3-4. I was very dissapointed in both their inability to be flexible and their general attitude of disgust at me for not fitting their idea of what a dancer is.
But it hit me. Women haven't changed since the 50s in many ways, they still blame the guy when things go wrong. All the women I danced with last night could have had a rewarding dancing experience with me. However when things didn't meet their predefined definition of "dancer" most of the women were totally incapable of changing to meet the present realities. But the kicker is that they blamed me and didn't have a fun time at all. We could have shared the role of lead and had a more "equal" dance partnership. But most women can't share control they either need you to have it or they want to have it.
In short most women are AFC.
There was only really one female there who could improvise, had rythm and knew how to salsa. She was a HB7 and she literally had guys lined up to dance with her and several guys watching her dance. She could keep up with the guys on the recipe moves but also could keep up when they started to improvise. All the other women I saw were unable to improvise and go outside the 20 or so "salsa" moves.
If you want to understand your role as a man take salsa. You will see that most women expect a man to lead them and are incapable of any different situation. You will see that it isn't the best looking guys that get the girls but rather the most confident and skilled. You will see that very very few women really can do the things they blame you for not being able to do. Once you know what is really up its pretty easy to adjust.
I spent most of my life being worried that I can't count 1-2-3-4 and keep rythme and that when I am nervous I lose rythme. All that time I didn't realize that I am a better dancer than most people when I just relax and use what God gave me. So guys in the game of life if you need a girl who can count 1-2-3-4 in your relationship don't worry about all the ones who tell you its your job, they are settling for a guy who dances less well than you because they are unable to count. There is a HB7 out there who can rock your world count 1-2-3-4 and one of these days you will have the pleasure of dancing with her.
Dancing and I have a special relationship. I have rythm but am totally unable to count to 4 while maintaining it. This leads to a very interesting situation. While I am totally clueless in dance classes or learning dance steps I have been told on more than one occasion when I relax and dance solo that I am good dancer (not leading partner within distinct rules like salsa etc). I can do the dance steps if I have seen them and just relax and let the music move me. Unlike most people I could be a choreographer because I make the dance as opposed to following a recipe I learned in a class thus my dance is often very different than anything they have seen.
When I dance with some women I am a very good dancer (well good anyways), but when I dance with other women it is just painful. I figured out the difference a few days ago, when i dance with women who keep the count 1.2.3.4 etc we do well, I can see from their body position when to spin them etc, I still need work on varying different salsa moves etc but I can do the basic steps.
So I have decided to learn to salsa dance mainly cause I like dancing and would like to be able to do it on a regular basis. And in my several trips to the dance club I have learned some things that you can see for yourself if you go to a partners dance club.
1) The best dancers all want to dance with each other. Being the best at something makes others who are good at that want you...regardless of physical appearance. The best male dancer was a 4 and overweight and had no problems.
2) Many of the best female dancers I found attractive once I saw them dance. Some of them were not all that attractive before. HB7 becomes HB9 when dancing etc. #1 works both ways.
3) Most women will dance with you once even if they don't really want to. If you dance well they will dance with you in the future although perhaps not more than one dance a night.
4) Women mostly can't really dance.
#4 is the thing I realized recently that I really didn't understand. When I go to dance I have asked women to dance who were glad to dance with me. But once they see that I am not a good salsa dancer it is amazing how fast IL drops. OK that isn't really a problem as I am not looking for romance just for partners to get my couples dancing skills up.
What was totally shocking though is that most women can't dance without the man basically forcing them to move everywhere. I mean totally can't dance. When I have danced with women who could do the 1-2-3-5-6-7 (salsa is weird in how they count to eight in 6 beats lol ) we did ok. They set up the basic step I lead on the variations and we do ok.
I was blessed in that my first and third dance partners had rythm and were able to set up a basic step and relax and let me lead when I was ready. We made lots of mistakes but since we both have rythm we had fun and when we dance together one of the best female dancers came up and introduced herself to me. She is HB7 I am bout 7 but I suspect her interest was more in my dancing than in me. Another guy (who dances a lot) said you must have taken lessons what style of dancing was that? (I have never taken lessons and been dancing less than 10 times in my life).
My next dance partner is learning to salsa but fancies herself a "dancer" she knows the moves but doesn't really have strong rythm. We don't dance well together. She doesn't say it but she blames me. She either wants me to lead on everything or she tries to lead both are recipies for disaster. When she relaxes and holds the basic count we do ok but not like my first or third partners.
Last night I went out without any of my dance partners and danced with strangers. As soon as I did all the women became frusterated. They needed me to keep the count to maintain even the basic 1-2-3-4. I was very dissapointed in both their inability to be flexible and their general attitude of disgust at me for not fitting their idea of what a dancer is.
But it hit me. Women haven't changed since the 50s in many ways, they still blame the guy when things go wrong. All the women I danced with last night could have had a rewarding dancing experience with me. However when things didn't meet their predefined definition of "dancer" most of the women were totally incapable of changing to meet the present realities. But the kicker is that they blamed me and didn't have a fun time at all. We could have shared the role of lead and had a more "equal" dance partnership. But most women can't share control they either need you to have it or they want to have it.
In short most women are AFC.
There was only really one female there who could improvise, had rythm and knew how to salsa. She was a HB7 and she literally had guys lined up to dance with her and several guys watching her dance. She could keep up with the guys on the recipe moves but also could keep up when they started to improvise. All the other women I saw were unable to improvise and go outside the 20 or so "salsa" moves.
If you want to understand your role as a man take salsa. You will see that most women expect a man to lead them and are incapable of any different situation. You will see that it isn't the best looking guys that get the girls but rather the most confident and skilled. You will see that very very few women really can do the things they blame you for not being able to do. Once you know what is really up its pretty easy to adjust.
I spent most of my life being worried that I can't count 1-2-3-4 and keep rythme and that when I am nervous I lose rythme. All that time I didn't realize that I am a better dancer than most people when I just relax and use what God gave me. So guys in the game of life if you need a girl who can count 1-2-3-4 in your relationship don't worry about all the ones who tell you its your job, they are settling for a guy who dances less well than you because they are unable to count. There is a HB7 out there who can rock your world count 1-2-3-4 and one of these days you will have the pleasure of dancing with her.
