Keeping your cool, staying calm.

[Viper]

Hey, I'm Mike and I don't have a very good temper about things and I would like to change that. For example, my father's an ******* and sometimes he'll lose his temper over stupid things, then he gets all up in my face about it, starts yelling at me and he pisses me off with his elite attitude, for this reason we get into [verbal] fights alot. I lose my temper easily in school too, if someone provokes me, talks about me, is rude to me or just acts like a plain jackass to me, I lose my temper and it usually results in a [physical] fight, someone usually breaks up the fight before teachers see them.

Then I started noticing how much like my father, I really was, I lose my temper easily, alot of people think I'm an *******, I don't like to reason out things and I get pissed off when people talk stuff about me. But the thing is, I don't want to grow up and be like my dad, I want to grow up to be a better man than him, I want to learn to control my anger, I don't want to be so easily provoked, I want to be the guy who can talk things out, rather than fight things out. Another thing I noticed that's simular about me and my father is, we're generally nice guys, but when someone pisses us off, we turn into the biggest *******s you'll ever meet, I want to change that.

At school it's almost like I have two indentities, the nice guy, that all the girls and teachers know and the tough, gangster, black guy, that the "poser" gangsters, hoodz and "wannabe" pimps in the school, know. I want to narrow it down, so that I only have one indentity, the calm, yet confident, nice guy. So what strategies can you guys give me to calm myself in stressful situations, you know, to calm myself down when I pissed off or angry? I would be greatful if you guys could help me improve this.

 

[mvp21]

take a moment to step back an survey the situation i use to have the same problem but i finally mellowed out mainly do to football which is where i take my aggressions out out but sometimes people need to see ur no push over once thats estasblished less people will confront you

 

[08aisaac]

I used to get angry very easily but that was because everyone made fun of me. When I realized that people made fun of me because of that, I stopped. I generally find that some mellow music will calm me down when I am angry. Like Keane and Jack Johnson and stuff like that.

Finding a hobby to occupy your time will also help. I went into the hobby of computers and now it is a career for me. Stress made me angry and mad and agressive so I found stuff to do so I wouldn't wollow in the stress. I also moved away from my dad, who like yours, is an *******. My stepmom was a totall 8itch too and was causing most of my stress.