I originally started this post it was in response to a post in another thread- by the time I was done I realized it was on a completely different topic and merited its own thread- so if you're wondering where the format came from, that's why.
Kontroller buddy- I'm going to disagree with you ever so slightly.
Women who engage in the said forbidden behaviors before their relationship with you will agree to your terms if they're really interested in you- but you know as well as I that their whoe-ish hearts are not going to change overnight. They will test your resolve at some point in the future- and if you're a man you will have no choice but to dump them (which ironically enough will actually make you more attractive in her eyes) and walk away.
This is where I disagree with you. You paint yourself into a corner by making the walking away mandatory. For rAFCs/nascent betas this is good advice. They would stay in the relationship even though their dignity and self respect would be leaking like a sieve from them after they failed to follow through on their little rules ultimatum. They don't have the emotional self-control and self-respect to do what I'm suggesting so its better that they walk away while they build up their experience, learn to control their emotions, and learn how to protect their hearts from the predations of manipulative and heartless women. (don't think this is the case guys? Then why did she go out on Girls Night Out after you told her that her not going was so important to you?... exactly)
Walking away is intermediate game. You keep the prize mentality and your dignity and self respect by tossing a trashy girl in the garbage (as she deserves). I think we can take it to the next level- the pimp level. what do pimps do- how do they achieve such control over women? They take a woman's game a flip it on her- they employ the same strategies and tactics she uses, against AFCs, against her.
In America women operate out of the prize mentality and the master morality. They get men to buy them whatever they want- diamonds, dinner, whatever. They control the frame- they're the little princess- and as royalty all their commands are to be fulfilled by the serfs in their domain (AFCs/betas). Now what do women do when they're in the control frame and the serf defies her commands? Does she issue an ultimatum by threatening to walk away and following through if her demands are not met? No, of course not- she has invested time and energy into said AFC, he has her on a pedastool and she is firmly in control of his emotions (aka he LOOOOOOVES her). walking away is the A-bomb of her arsenal- she saves it for situations where her conventional weapons have proven completely insufficient (ie jerks/players). What are these conventional weapons that she usually employs? Positive and negative reinforcement of behaviors. Withrdrawl of emotional intimacy, attention, sex, and use of jealousy as punishment. Return of the same as rewards (and then only via intermittent rewards).
When a man displeases her she acts cold when they speak to each other (emotional intimacy), she delays returning his calls and won't set up "dates" with him (jealousy/attention),she'll talk about/flirt with other guys (jealousy), she won't sleep with him until he performs acts of contrition (buys jewelry, flowers, whatever) and only then when she feels like it (intermittant rewards/frame control).
Using said tactics a woman trains her beta/afc puppies the way she wants them- she has the dominence (given to her by her master morality) and frame control (given to her by her prize mentality); she is the Alpha, in the dog pack sense of the word, as a result. As the Alpha she decides what is acceptable and unacceptable and rewards/punishes in accordance with that. The reason she has the role is because the man defaulted and let her have it- since he wasn't man enough to seize the dominance and frame control, and be the Alpha in the relationship, she defaulted into the role and seized it for herself.
As a man its our job to seize the dominance and frame control in relationships. We need to be the Alphas for women to respect us. If she has the prize mentality we need to see ourselves as more of a prize. If she operates from the master morality we need to seize the role and be the master of the master.
Only once we've done this and seized the role of leadership can we truly act like one. As the leader/Alpha in the relationship we decide what is appropriate/inappropriate for the relationship and reward/punish accordingly; it is our prerogative as the leader to do so.
So Kontroller buddy- what I'm saying is that you have the right idea- but wrong implimentation.
Having rules is right- it sets you into the prize mentality and master morality.
What is wrong is your action and how you've framed it.
Like a dog, a woman will test your resolve to see if you really have the testicles to maintain your role as alpha and remain master of the domain. If you fail she will attempt to seize the role for herself. When you set your rules she will undoubtedly and inevitably act in opposition in them to test your resolve and iron will.
With your tactic, when she inevitably tests you, you lose. You've rigged the game against yourself and have painted yourself into a corner- when she tests you have no choice but to leave. You stay you lose your dignity and self respect (and her respect and submission), while if you leave you lose a lover.
No- just as you wouldn't throw a dog out of the house for trying to sit on the couch you don't dump a woman for **** testing you/testing your resolve (both are the same thing really). Rather- you change the nature of the game. You punish and reward her with previously mentioned tactics for her lack of complience- and you make the litmus test for her commitment to you, and your role as dominant leader, by her submissiveness and compliance to whatever punishment you decide to meet out to her for defying you. Its only after she defies your role as leader, by defying your punishment, thereby showing she is not committed to you emotionally, that you dump her.
You make the compliance to the punishment the test, instead of the compliance to the rules.
Women will always test the rules to see if you're a man. If you pass the tests and maintain your resolve then you will remain a man and her eyes and you will continue to have her respect, submissiveness, and compliance. Its only when you've failed enough tests, and she sees you as a beta, that she will flaunt the rules and defy the punishment.
Kontroller buddy- I'm going to disagree with you ever so slightly.
Women who engage in the said forbidden behaviors before their relationship with you will agree to your terms if they're really interested in you- but you know as well as I that their whoe-ish hearts are not going to change overnight. They will test your resolve at some point in the future- and if you're a man you will have no choice but to dump them (which ironically enough will actually make you more attractive in her eyes) and walk away.
This is where I disagree with you. You paint yourself into a corner by making the walking away mandatory. For rAFCs/nascent betas this is good advice. They would stay in the relationship even though their dignity and self respect would be leaking like a sieve from them after they failed to follow through on their little rules ultimatum. They don't have the emotional self-control and self-respect to do what I'm suggesting so its better that they walk away while they build up their experience, learn to control their emotions, and learn how to protect their hearts from the predations of manipulative and heartless women. (don't think this is the case guys? Then why did she go out on Girls Night Out after you told her that her not going was so important to you?... exactly)
Walking away is intermediate game. You keep the prize mentality and your dignity and self respect by tossing a trashy girl in the garbage (as she deserves). I think we can take it to the next level- the pimp level. what do pimps do- how do they achieve such control over women? They take a woman's game a flip it on her- they employ the same strategies and tactics she uses, against AFCs, against her.
In America women operate out of the prize mentality and the master morality. They get men to buy them whatever they want- diamonds, dinner, whatever. They control the frame- they're the little princess- and as royalty all their commands are to be fulfilled by the serfs in their domain (AFCs/betas). Now what do women do when they're in the control frame and the serf defies her commands? Does she issue an ultimatum by threatening to walk away and following through if her demands are not met? No, of course not- she has invested time and energy into said AFC, he has her on a pedastool and she is firmly in control of his emotions (aka he LOOOOOOVES her). walking away is the A-bomb of her arsenal- she saves it for situations where her conventional weapons have proven completely insufficient (ie jerks/players). What are these conventional weapons that she usually employs? Positive and negative reinforcement of behaviors. Withrdrawl of emotional intimacy, attention, sex, and use of jealousy as punishment. Return of the same as rewards (and then only via intermittent rewards).
When a man displeases her she acts cold when they speak to each other (emotional intimacy), she delays returning his calls and won't set up "dates" with him (jealousy/attention),she'll talk about/flirt with other guys (jealousy), she won't sleep with him until he performs acts of contrition (buys jewelry, flowers, whatever) and only then when she feels like it (intermittant rewards/frame control).
Using said tactics a woman trains her beta/afc puppies the way she wants them- she has the dominence (given to her by her master morality) and frame control (given to her by her prize mentality); she is the Alpha, in the dog pack sense of the word, as a result. As the Alpha she decides what is acceptable and unacceptable and rewards/punishes in accordance with that. The reason she has the role is because the man defaulted and let her have it- since he wasn't man enough to seize the dominance and frame control, and be the Alpha in the relationship, she defaulted into the role and seized it for herself.
As a man its our job to seize the dominance and frame control in relationships. We need to be the Alphas for women to respect us. If she has the prize mentality we need to see ourselves as more of a prize. If she operates from the master morality we need to seize the role and be the master of the master.
Only once we've done this and seized the role of leadership can we truly act like one. As the leader/Alpha in the relationship we decide what is appropriate/inappropriate for the relationship and reward/punish accordingly; it is our prerogative as the leader to do so.
So Kontroller buddy- what I'm saying is that you have the right idea- but wrong implimentation.
Having rules is right- it sets you into the prize mentality and master morality.
What is wrong is your action and how you've framed it.
Like a dog, a woman will test your resolve to see if you really have the testicles to maintain your role as alpha and remain master of the domain. If you fail she will attempt to seize the role for herself. When you set your rules she will undoubtedly and inevitably act in opposition in them to test your resolve and iron will.
With your tactic, when she inevitably tests you, you lose. You've rigged the game against yourself and have painted yourself into a corner- when she tests you have no choice but to leave. You stay you lose your dignity and self respect (and her respect and submission), while if you leave you lose a lover.
No- just as you wouldn't throw a dog out of the house for trying to sit on the couch you don't dump a woman for **** testing you/testing your resolve (both are the same thing really). Rather- you change the nature of the game. You punish and reward her with previously mentioned tactics for her lack of complience- and you make the litmus test for her commitment to you, and your role as dominant leader, by her submissiveness and compliance to whatever punishment you decide to meet out to her for defying you. Its only after she defies your role as leader, by defying your punishment, thereby showing she is not committed to you emotionally, that you dump her.
You make the compliance to the punishment the test, instead of the compliance to the rules.
Women will always test the rules to see if you're a man. If you pass the tests and maintain your resolve then you will remain a man and her eyes and you will continue to have her respect, submissiveness, and compliance. Its only when you've failed enough tests, and she sees you as a beta, that she will flaunt the rules and defy the punishment.