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Keeping Girl from Match Interested before first meetup
- Thread starter MtnMan
- Start date
HumbleNinja
Banned
Espi said:
Espi at this point if she never hit him up or kept in contact she most likely isn't going to go and either has no plans of replying or is thinking of an excuse.
What I'd do is wait till twenty minutes before we were supposed to meet. And text her: "I'm going to be late. I'm on my way now. See you there." (While I'm either ready to go out with friends instead or somewhere else by myself or even sitting at home watching T.V.)
If she replies shes there. Then I'd leave. If no response? Delete number and go out with friends or myself or stay home.
I'd let her "sweat it out" so to speak and not give her a heads up a few hours before to think of HER excuse at the last minute. I'd do the "late" thing twenty minutes before we were supposed to meet just to fvck with her so if she doesn't show or reply I never went and was ready to do something else regardless.
Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
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Dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, DUMB.
I'm going to do a podcast about this today, because so many men make this mistake, and it's causing them to LOSE women that would have actually stayed around and/or dated them had they not made this mistake. The podcast will be called:
STOP MESSAGING/CALLING GIRLS WHEN THEY'RE OUT OF TOWN OR ON VACATION
Because, realistically, even if this girl had plans of wanting to go out with you, when she was out of town the LAST thing she wanted to do was hear from you. Like, she hit YOU up online first, so there was no way she was going to forget about you. All you had to do was wait a few measly days for her to get back in town and THEN contact her, but instead you got all beta and desperate and couldn't wait and just HAD to plan a date with her, and now you just sound like a whiny man who keeps crying "why won't she return my texts and/or calls right away??"
IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S OUT OF TOWN DOING OTHER THINGS BESIDES THINKING ABOUT YOU FOR 5 SECONDS!!
And she has a right to - like, you guys haven't even met in person yet!! No need to show this level of desperation - she told you she was going out of town and when she'd be back. So. Just. Wait. No, really, it's not that hard - a year is 365 days long; waiting 3 or 4 days to talk to her is no big deal, nor is it a long enough time for her to forget you, especially since, again, SHE HIT YOU UP FIRST.
So, stop bombarding her with calls/text, and just wait til she gets in town good, wait a few days after that, THEN hit her up. Really, guy, dating online is NOT this hard.
I'm going to do a podcast about this today, because so many men make this mistake, and it's causing them to LOSE women that would have actually stayed around and/or dated them had they not made this mistake. The podcast will be called:
STOP MESSAGING/CALLING GIRLS WHEN THEY'RE OUT OF TOWN OR ON VACATION
Because, realistically, even if this girl had plans of wanting to go out with you, when she was out of town the LAST thing she wanted to do was hear from you. Like, she hit YOU up online first, so there was no way she was going to forget about you. All you had to do was wait a few measly days for her to get back in town and THEN contact her, but instead you got all beta and desperate and couldn't wait and just HAD to plan a date with her, and now you just sound like a whiny man who keeps crying "why won't she return my texts and/or calls right away??"
IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S OUT OF TOWN DOING OTHER THINGS BESIDES THINKING ABOUT YOU FOR 5 SECONDS!!
And she has a right to - like, you guys haven't even met in person yet!! No need to show this level of desperation - she told you she was going out of town and when she'd be back. So. Just. Wait. No, really, it's not that hard - a year is 365 days long; waiting 3 or 4 days to talk to her is no big deal, nor is it a long enough time for her to forget you, especially since, again, SHE HIT YOU UP FIRST.
So, stop bombarding her with calls/text, and just wait til she gets in town good, wait a few days after that, THEN hit her up. Really, guy, dating online is NOT this hard.
Peace and Quiet
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
Harry Wilmington said:
You sound angry. Sending the picture was a bad move, but women who like you will still be talking with you. I've talked with girls who were out of the country and on vacations who still wanted to talk. Sure didn't hurt me any. In his case, they never met before but with girls you have met then there's no problem. If he got the date then it doesn't really matter.
wow, i didn't realize the stakes were so high over this :crackup:
I do agree, sending the pic was lame, to be fair, i didn't know she was out of town at the time.
Anyways, she did show on time, date went ok. She is super cute and has a really nice body (marathon runner). She is definitely what you might expect from a phd student/hardcore athlete chick. I was seated first, and she found me, she went for the handshake, but i gave her a friendly hug that was well received.
The conversation was excellent from the start. I was genuinely interested in her research, and could hang pretty well with her intellectually. It was one of the better, more stimulating conversations I have had in a good while. I think we talked about 2 hours then went our separate ways. She gets up mega early to swim and I get up real early for work.
On the downside, the only available spot in the coffee house was a dreaded round table. Too far apart to really work any simple kino (or lets say to far apart for me to figure out how to do it). The hug was a good ice breaker, but the kino was very limited from there. The date ended with a quick hug....meh. She seems pretty reserved, but I'm sure I could have done better on that end of things. It was hard to gauge physical attraction, I think there was certainly a good intellectual attraction, so maybe that can be built on. If I go for a second date, its going to have to be something where there is a lot more movement and opportunities for kino.
It was a good experience either way. Not sure how to proceed for a follow up.
I do agree, sending the pic was lame, to be fair, i didn't know she was out of town at the time.
Anyways, she did show on time, date went ok. She is super cute and has a really nice body (marathon runner). She is definitely what you might expect from a phd student/hardcore athlete chick. I was seated first, and she found me, she went for the handshake, but i gave her a friendly hug that was well received.
The conversation was excellent from the start. I was genuinely interested in her research, and could hang pretty well with her intellectually. It was one of the better, more stimulating conversations I have had in a good while. I think we talked about 2 hours then went our separate ways. She gets up mega early to swim and I get up real early for work.
On the downside, the only available spot in the coffee house was a dreaded round table. Too far apart to really work any simple kino (or lets say to far apart for me to figure out how to do it). The hug was a good ice breaker, but the kino was very limited from there. The date ended with a quick hug....meh. She seems pretty reserved, but I'm sure I could have done better on that end of things. It was hard to gauge physical attraction, I think there was certainly a good intellectual attraction, so maybe that can be built on. If I go for a second date, its going to have to be something where there is a lot more movement and opportunities for kino.
It was a good experience either way. Not sure how to proceed for a follow up.
i forgot to add, at the end of the date we walked half a block, I offered to walk her to her car, but she said she was heading up the street to grab some food since she had not eaten yet. I left it at that, we had a brief hug and exchanged the simple "it was nice to meet you"
still not sure how I feel about it, going to call her in a few days and try for a second, more interesting/active date. In the meantime, I appear to be coming down with the flue, so no weekend gaming attempts for me....
still not sure how I feel about it, going to call her in a few days and try for a second, more interesting/active date. In the meantime, I appear to be coming down with the flue, so no weekend gaming attempts for me....
Glad the date went down, MtnMan, and that some of the other posts were off with their doom and gloom scenarios.
It doesn't sound like you're too into this girl. Trying to force it just because you don't have other plates on the go usually doesn't make for good times.
It doesn't sound like you're too into this girl. Trying to force it just because you don't have other plates on the go usually doesn't make for good times.
honestly I really did like this chick, I love women who stimulate the mind, but i find it harder to game them than more simple chicks. (not that I am great at that either).TheCWord said:
Surely I need more plates for several reasons, but not going to let this drop just yet.
Peace and Quiet
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
B
BeDJ
Guest
Sweet, man. You're making some headway if you landed a date within a week of making that thread on the Mature Men forums.
On a first date, you two are just strangers. The whole building attraction comes down to creating an image in her mind that you two are compatible for intimacy. The first step is making your date comfortable. Ask her questions and then follow up your answer with a similar story.
What's the most exciting thing you have done this year?
Oh I went to Vegas on New Years and was in a gangbang.
That's awesome! I was just in Vegas two weeks ago and thought about doing that...where were you getting gangbanged?
In the parking lot
Yeah, the parking lot reminds me of.......
You're basically agreeing with her, but at the same time, you are building a path to where the conversation leads. That way, if she talks endlessly about her career, you can interrupt her and bring it back to your conversation GPS. Building comfort should be 15 minutes to 30 minutes, not two hours. When you think she is comfortable, change the venue. Take a walk. For me, I simply say - Have you been to X Bar? Let's take my car.
If she is let's you drive, you're in a good spot. If she takes her car or says "it's getting late." You didn't build enough comfort or that 'spark' in conversation wasn't there.
What I learned was that I was too focused on building the 'connection' than to just be flirty. Tease her. I bet you no other guy stepped up to her bullsh!t. "I like my dates to have a little bit of fat, speaking of which I had the most amazing philly cheesesteak for lunch at XYZ" You've read in PUA site and blogs, maybe on here. You MUST make her qualify herself to you. This means she does most of the talking and you never say more than necessary.
Sooner rather than later, you want to have seductive conversations. . Atom Smasher had an AMAZING way. "Can you purrrrrrr?" It's in the tips section. Once the flood gates are open, it's very easy to get her mind in a trance.
ALWAYS GO FOR THE KISS. I can not stress this enough. If she has interest in you, it will DOUBLE her interest. I fvcking guarantee you. Wyldfire had a tip where you put both fingertips on the nape of her neck. I haven't tried any other way for the first kiss, but these chicks were in ectasy mode after. I'd say it works, even though some of them never contacted me again.
Looking at the thread title, you are putting way to much effort in dating. This chick knows and nothing turns women off than being a try-hard. Dating should be fun, spontaneous and exciting.
Here is my elevator pitch on first dates:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=207067
Read this:
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/08/12/the-difficulty-of-gaming-women-by-age-bracket/
Very good, subtly break the physical barrier ASAP.
On a first date, you two are just strangers. The whole building attraction comes down to creating an image in her mind that you two are compatible for intimacy. The first step is making your date comfortable. Ask her questions and then follow up your answer with a similar story.
What's the most exciting thing you have done this year?
Oh I went to Vegas on New Years and was in a gangbang.
That's awesome! I was just in Vegas two weeks ago and thought about doing that...where were you getting gangbanged?
In the parking lot
Yeah, the parking lot reminds me of.......
You're basically agreeing with her, but at the same time, you are building a path to where the conversation leads. That way, if she talks endlessly about her career, you can interrupt her and bring it back to your conversation GPS. Building comfort should be 15 minutes to 30 minutes, not two hours. When you think she is comfortable, change the venue. Take a walk. For me, I simply say - Have you been to X Bar? Let's take my car.
If she is let's you drive, you're in a good spot. If she takes her car or says "it's getting late." You didn't build enough comfort or that 'spark' in conversation wasn't there.
Reading what you wrote, you are putting her in a higher position than yourself. She most likely picked up on that vibe and knows her value is higher than yours at the moment. Building rapport is necessary, but when your conversations are mostly logic and intellect just like in your case, you are f.v.c.k.e.d. If you feel like the conversation is drifting that way, change the venue. It's better to start over on a clean slate than be her long lost friend.
What I learned was that I was too focused on building the 'connection' than to just be flirty. Tease her. I bet you no other guy stepped up to her bullsh!t. "I like my dates to have a little bit of fat, speaking of which I had the most amazing philly cheesesteak for lunch at XYZ" You've read in PUA site and blogs, maybe on here. You MUST make her qualify herself to you. This means she does most of the talking and you never say more than necessary.
Sooner rather than later, you want to have seductive conversations. . Atom Smasher had an AMAZING way. "Can you purrrrrrr?" It's in the tips section. Once the flood gates are open, it's very easy to get her mind in a trance.
ALWAYS GO FOR THE KISS. I can not stress this enough. If she has interest in you, it will DOUBLE her interest. I fvcking guarantee you. Wyldfire had a tip where you put both fingertips on the nape of her neck. I haven't tried any other way for the first kiss, but these chicks were in ectasy mode after. I'd say it works, even though some of them never contacted me again.
These are the words you never want to hear. It's an LJBF in disguise.
Looking at the thread title, you are putting way to much effort in dating. This chick knows and nothing turns women off than being a try-hard. Dating should be fun, spontaneous and exciting.
Here is my elevator pitch on first dates:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=207067
Read this:
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/08/12/the-difficulty-of-gaming-women-by-age-bracket/
lol, callled to try for second action date, got voicemail. Left short message with some callback humor but not asking for date. No returned call....so....yea.
Trying hard to get some more plates spinning, but even just the process of trying is good enough for this to not bother me, so I guess I consider it progress.
Trying hard to get some more plates spinning, but even just the process of trying is good enough for this to not bother me, so I guess I consider it progress.
