Keeping Girl from Match Interested before first meetup

[GS750]

This happened to me this week too with an online chick, she contacted me first on match. I sent one text (no reply) and called awhile later. No call back. I never contacted her again. I think this one is a lost cause brother...she sounds like a typical online dating time waster. They text/talk on the phone but when it comes time to meet...poof. Gone.

 

[pdx1138]

she got back to you...it's NOT a lost cause.

Set something up, a solid time to meet up. if she agrees but something comes up then I'd walk.

I had a similar situation last year with one girl, she had met another dude just before me, but was trying to decide which of us would work best and I lost because I delayed asking her out again after the first date. While he escalated with her after our date and she didn't feel right dating two guys at the same time.

 

[GS750]

I must have missed something. I thought he had made 2-3 attempts at contact with no reply. Maybe he can clarify.

 

[MtnMan]

i made a call, no answer. Followed up with a text. Got an answer to the text the next day (posted back a couple posts) about how she can't do anything this week due to school but wants to reschedule for next week.

I'm going to set up a solid time and if that falls through, be done with it. If only she would pick up a phone call. Damn women.

 

[Robert28]

To be honest, what is even the point of going on a date with her? The 0.00001% chance that you MIGHT get some action? I mean even if you do go on a date with this girl, it sure is going to be a helluva a lot of effort to get a second with her with all this PHD stuff (which she will use as an excuse). I can see it now, ya'll finally go on a date, seems like everything goes well, she texts you either that night or the next day "I had a great time but I just have so much going on right now I'm not in a place to be dating anyone. Best of luck to you!" Yeah f that. I'd rather use my precious time pursuing someone that has the potential to go somewhere besides one measly date.

 

[MtnMan]

maybe its because i like smart chicks, dont know.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

i made a call, no answer. Followed up with a text. Got an answer to the text the next day (posted back a couple posts) about how she can't do anything this week due to school but wants to reschedule for next week.

I'm going to set up a solid time and if that falls through, be done with it. If only she would pick up a phone call. Damn women.

Dude just relax you got this, remember this is just practice man. She just got back from her parents right? I told you she would need a couple days to get her sh*t together. We all get anxious bro, take a deep breath and try not to give a sh*t about the outcome with this broad.

Next time you hit Stowe, Sugarbush or MadRiver Glenn rip it up for me!

 

[GS750]

i made a call, no answer. Followed up with a text. Got an answer to the text the next day (posted back a couple posts) about how she can't do anything this week due to school but wants to reschedule for next week.

I'm going to set up a solid time and if that falls through, be done with it. If only she would pick up a phone call. Damn women.

Okay then I misunderstood. I guess trying one more time wouldn't hurt. Good luck.

 

[YAboi]

sad how this turned out but the truth is that its your mindset that has to change. If you don't care about what happens it will come out in your actions ,text communication, voice tone and speech. If you care too much the same applies.

 

[MtnMan]

sad how this turned out but the truth is that its your mindset that has to change. If you don't care about what happens it will come out in your actions ,text communication, voice tone and speech. If you care too much the same applies.

Meh, I think calling it sad is a bit dramatic. I'm learning man, I have no real investment in this chick. Its all just practice. It will get better.

 

[rascal99v]

Did you ever go out with this timewaster? She is stringing you along. you keep taking the bait. back off and let her come to you.

 

[MtnMan]

Did you ever go out with this timewaster? She is stringing you along. you keep taking the bait. back off and let her come to you.

I actually did back off. I actually referenced this article http://www.sosuave.com/quick/tip167.htm

For whatever reason getting this chick on the phone is impossible. So whatever, I send her a text that says something like

"yea life is busy for sure. If you want to meet me lets set up something definite in the next couple weeks. If not, we can go our separate ways."

I get a text right back
"Hi XXXX, lets do Thursday if you're still available. But I totally understand if you do not want to. My schedule has been inconsistent over the break. Let me know if you still want to"

I respond 4 or 5 hours later saying:
"Sure, Thursday is good. How does 7 at xyz sound?"

She immediately responds
"Great! See you then!"



So there you go, will she flake? Who knows. But if she does, obviously its next after all this. I do think the "i have no problem walking away" mentality spurred her into gear. And really, I don't really care at this point, which is a powerful feeling!

Will report back if said date actually happens, and how it goes.

 

[TheCWord]

I actually did back off. I actually referenced this article http://www.sosuave.com/quick/tip167.htm

For whatever reason getting this chick on the phone is impossible. So whatever, I send her a text that says something like

"yea life is busy for sure. If you want to meet me lets set up something definite in the next couple weeks. If not, we can go our separate ways."

I get a text right back
"Hi XXXX, lets do Thursday if you're still available. But I totally understand if you do not want to. My schedule has been inconsistent over the break. Let me know if you still want to"

I respond 4 or 5 hours later saying:
"Sure, Thursday is good. How does 7 at xyz sound?"

She immediately responds
"Great! See you then!"



So there you go, will she flake? Who knows. But if she does, obviously its next after all this. I do think the "i have no problem walking away" mentality spurred her into gear. And really, I don't really care at this point, which is a powerful feeling!

Will report back if said date actually happens, and how it goes.

Hey good for you, man. I don't think you had to lay down the "go our separate ways" ultimatum, but the point is she's interested enough to make solid plans. Let us know how your date goes.

 

[GS750]

Nice recovery. Keep us posted.

 

[HumbleNinja]

O.P. the chick may be busy. Parents, school, work whatever. Don't push things nor worry about every little detail or lack thereof.

If she seems busy it may not be because she isn't interested or is dating tons of dudes...she may just be BUSY. Like everyone else should be.

Look at the bright side. At LEAST she has a LIFE. Would you prefer some chick who did nothing and kept blowing up your phone?

Not EVERY chick is out there running around banging everyone, dating etc. every other dude. Especially on pay sites. Some may be fvcked in the head on those and may be doing that but nowhere near the types on free sites like POF.

She may just be busy. Take her word for it until she proves otherwise.

In the meantime don't wait around if you're antsy to date some chick. Hit up new ones and make plans with them. If you come across as too eager to meet them they start thinking: "This dude may be a creeper or desperate or a possible stage 5 clinger. And they WILL flake then."

If she texts you before the date with an excuse or just to hit you up and doesn't mention Thursday don't worry about it. Change the subject to something else. Like something you both mentioned before or in her profile etc. Get her mind off you coming off as "pressuring" her for a set date. Then back off. She may re-think things and ask you to go out. If not don't worry and drop it.

Talk about something else if so and see if she brings the date up as she's going and talk quick about it.

If she mentions nothing assume it's on and text her on that day twenty minutes before the date telling her you're running a little late. If she doesn't reply. Drop her for good. If she replies and says she's on her way then get ready to go. This way you don't waste your time showing up nor come off as waiting for her.

Again in the meantime hit up other chicks.

It's like with anyone. Even with a friend. If you keep pressuring them to go out it starts turning them off and they'll flake. Change the subject or talk about other stuff. They may then wonder why you are suddenly not mentioning going out and re-think things and say "Yo. Let's go out!"

 

[abe0]

This lady may actually be real and a lot of women who are educated like her have not had a lot of dating experience so they may not be playing the games that most women play. I say give her the benefit of the doubt....but quit texting so much and carrying texting conversation. Stop It!!!
I also suggest you continue spinning other plates because if she is this busy ...you will also be second fiddle to her studying for now.
The only thing worse is women and their horses....they ride everyday...spend hours with their animals....and the horse will always be her priority, not you.
Abe

 

[rascal99v]

I actually did back off. I actually referenced this article http://www.sosuave.com/quick/tip167.htm

For whatever reason getting this chick on the phone is impossible. So whatever, I send her a text that says something like

"yea life is busy for sure. If you want to meet me lets set up something definite in the next couple weeks. If not, we can go our separate ways."

I get a text right back
"Hi XXXX, lets do Thursday if you're still available. But I totally understand if you do not want to. My schedule has been inconsistent over the break. Let me know if you still want to"

I respond 4 or 5 hours later saying:
"Sure, Thursday is good. How does 7 at xyz sound?"

She immediately responds
"Great! See you then!"



So there you go, will she flake? Who knows. But if she does, obviously its next after all this. I do think the "i have no problem walking away" mentality spurred her into gear. And really, I don't really care at this point, which is a powerful feeling!

Will report back if said date actually happens, and how it goes.

Awesome. Hope you have a great long awaited date. It's strange that she won't answer the phone. How many times did you call her? There's no reason why she can't call you back after she missed your calls. Nobody can be that busy every minute. You would think she would be curious enough to know what you wanted. People who don't answer or call usually have something to hide. Talk to other women. Don't put too much attention on one woman. There are lots of women to hit up online. If she texts with an excuse before the date, just ignore her.

 

[pdx1138]

It's highly possible she is nervous as fvck to chat on the phone.

I've had women I dated tell me that, later on. (though they did answer)

 

[MtnMan]

It's highly possible she is nervous as fvck to chat on the phone.

I've had women I dated tell me that, later on. (though they did answer)

i think this is probably the case. Funny thing is, wouldn't you rather talk to someone first if you are planning on meeting them face to face?
Oh wait....thats logic, nevermind.

 

[MtnMan]

If it were me, I would text her NOW (i.e. this afternoon) and keep it short and direct: "Hey just making sure we're still on for tonight. See you at 7 at XYZ?" No more or less than that. If she responds with ANYTHING less than "Yes", say, "You know let's gonna cancel. You seem really swamped right now." Then avoid her.

i actually did send her a text seeing if we are still on and she responded
"Hi xxxx, yes still on for 7, Look forward to meeting you"

Already got my book with me, and going to meet up with a friend of mine who lives in town for a drink if she doesn't show. We shall see.