keeping cool vs getting angry

[mountain]

something i haven't been able to figure out.. In reprogramming myself not to be my former nice guy self, I've gone overboard sometimes with the cool and ****y i'm sure. One thing i haven't been able to understand... is getting visibly angry a turnoff for women? For the most part I've played it cool, never showing real anger even when I've felt it coming on. what are your thoughts on being ******dly angry vs playing it cool... is it sometimes necessary to effectively communicate?

 

[Skel]

I dont care how others see me. I get angry you better get out of my way like ludacris says. Move ***** get out the way!

 

[poohead]

playing it cool is always preferable. if you have to get angry, make sure it is for a legitimate reason.

 

[mountain]

it feels to me like some girls try to get you angry on purpose and enjoy watching you lay down the law. it seems like it turns them on. but they may be crazy.

 

[flippinfreak]

Girls love it when they are allowed to scream, but they know their man will be there with logic to protect them...

Don't lose your cool when it's over something petty though, or when you get frustrated. It's a learning process to know when to let some steam lose, generally though, there should be nothing that bothers you too much.

THe only things i get pissed about are when I have absolutely no control, and the other person knows better. Like wasting my time when I offer to help, or when somebody leaves something behind and it gets stolen, or when somebody makes up some whack BS and goes around lying to people behind my back.

 

[Big Eee Zee]

i think its more a function of who you are...

I never get mad. ever. I have never raised my vioce at my g/f, in the long time we've been together because thats who i am. It bothers her sometimes, because if she fvcks up i let it go and explain things to her, i dont yell. this makes her feel like a heel, but thats how it is.

This is because on the rare occasion i get mad, i have a terrible temper, and if she ever made me really mad i'd destroy her. i wouldnt touch her, but verbally i'd cut her to shreds. also, im tall and loud, making it intimidating. but the only thing she could really do for that to happen would be to cheat on me. thats about it.

so if your personality is one of calmness and coolness, then go with it.

and save the being mad for when you really need it.

 

[Marlimus]

I dont care how others see me. I get angry you better get out of my way like ludacris says. Move ***** get out the way!

Spoken like a 15 year old.

Anyway, displays of anger are generally seen as signs of frustration and helplessness, not power. If you have a legitimate reason to be upset, air your greivance in a cool, controlled manner. Assume the air of the annoyed aristocrat; the lion who is annoyed by the mouse nibbling at his tail.

 

[Socialreject]

Don't get angry... get even ;-)

Angre is a sign of weakness. Never ever get angry...

I don't mean literly 'never get angry'... it's normal to get angry sometimes and supressing it is probably not a good idea! What i mean is get angry, get pissed if you want, just don't 'freak out', don't start yelling screaming, insulting etc. Keep your cool on the outside. It's fine if people see that you are angry, just let it be a passive/agressive kind of angry...

When i get angry at a woman she definitly notices it, i get a sly grin and just set up the stage for some verbal ownage. Keep strong eyecontact, don't blink, shoot em down with your eyes. If it's a guy and he gets me really PISSED i'll just start challenging him a bit and annoying him. Never strike first, again sign of weakness PLUS it can get you in to a lot of trouble with the law! Let em talk sh!t, just keep owning them verbally and put on your 'evil genious' face. If they start getting really pissed and a bit physical than just start daring them a bit... poke em in the ribs, step on their shoes, pet them on the head... whatever, just make it subtle...

I've gotten a number of reactions when things got up to this point. Either they start pushing and their friends pull them off almost instantly, they then end up yelling from across the room a bit more at my backside... They just get pissed, make some lame threat and then walk off... finally they actually have a go at me (pretty rare).

So, basically, don't freak out, if you get angry just start verbal ownage and challenging them...

You might like it better to just ignore them and dismiss your angre. Whatever, you have to decide for yourself. I noticed for myself that when i do this i catch myself later feeling bad for "backing off"... so i don't do it anymore... whatever works for you!

 

[DonJuanForever]

hahah. As long as you are sexual, you can be WHOEVER YOU WANT.
If you are a tough guy always serious and snaps at any minute, fine.
If you are a nice guy who is always cool, fine.

Its because you are sexual and sexually assertive that women find you attractive, thats the cake, your dress style, status, are just frostings.

So you don't wanna get pissed at something you should because that might stop her from fvckin you? No, no, no. If you figure something needs to be said, fvck it, say it! If you're wrong you're wrong. But don't be afraid to speak your mind.

Let people will think what I am about to say is wrong, but I don't care! I have my women treat me in the particular WAY I WANT to be treated! That is, show me praise, say you love me consistently, provide for me, etc. Is it right or wrong? I don't know or care, but it's what I felt like having and demanding.

Life is what YOU make it, people don't make it for you.

 

[organizedconfusion]

keep cool dude, unless it's serious..:crazy:

 

[PRMoon]

There is a time and a place for both. Typically keeping your wits about you and playing it cool will get you where you need to be with the least amount of resistance. You'll find its difficult to think rationally/logically when you're out of control with anger. This is especially true when you're trying to lay down game and either aren't getting anywhere, the girl is presenting herself as a challange, is to dumb to pick up on you, you've competition etc etc etc Those are the times when keeping your cool recognizing you need to change your tactics, and executing your game will get you rewarded. Often I find after I've lain down some pretty good game and failed but kept my cool the entire time, I dont' feel that bad. Usually I'll spot my mistakes or outside forces that made the sitatuion go arwy. Sometimes I'll simply get out gamed by someone else and I'll take note of what that guy did to beat me and review it like game tape for the next time I'm out.

Getting angry can get you some places some time but it's rare and it definately has to be warrented. I've seen a guy walk into a bar pissed because his girl dissed him or something like that and he got picked up by some other chick at the bar. At first he was FUMING and every one cleared away from him, but after he verbalized his story a samaritan girl came up to hiim and colsoled him. She bought him drinks he bought her drinks, THEY left teh bar together. I've also seen a guy defending a girl from a sleeze bag and he got pretty pissed and he got really really angry and loud. The sleeze ended up leaving and the girl got with the rescuer because he was agressive and dominat at the right time then was kind to her afterwards.

To sum it up, the majority of the time, the cool head prevails but in RARE circumstances anger can still get you in.

 

[TesuqueRed]

play it cool.

play it cool even if angry - playing it cool doesn't mean you have to hide that you're angry, just keep it cool

those that get angry and blow are generally seen as lower down the ladder (lack of self-control, can't handle shyt, etc. - is what it says to others) unless you're down at that rung already and then it looks fine

in some places, like chimp society, blowing a gasket with huge noisy and angry display is how the alpha male establishes dominance (fun shyt to watch if you can catch it on discovery channel...) some sections of human male society are like that -- if that's where you're at, displays of anger may work. if you're somewhere a bit more evolved, it backfires. usually blowing a gasket backfires around women from what i've seen and heard, except around the more simple ones who seem to be impressed by it. like someone said above, some of them want that...

 

[organizedconfusion]

speaking of playing it cool, i remember when i was at this trendy club i frequent..alone as usual and a bad night, my head was pounding,my stomach hurt and i felt like crap..i chat up a girl and just kid around for a bit..next thing i know i see this big G-unit mother fvcker woofin' at me all in my face yo yo yo..yo homie..wat up,yo whoo yu tawkin' to homiee..great this is the last thing i need..some big black guy wanting to kick a hole in me..juuust great, i could tell he wanted to get a rise out of me.. so i just told him that i was constipated and asked his girl if she had any pills,being that girls always have things to fix cramps.. i was BSing with him,he was grossed out and confused that he just was like..yo yu buggin' dats shytes nasty whack..or whatever the fvck he said..anyways, i could've lost my cool, took it personal and responded to him with anger...but i rather not have to fight him or his 'crew'..besides, i had a headache...yeah, like a crazy whack headache...
crazy whack
crazy whack :crackup:

 

[organizedconfusion]

play it cool.

play it cool even if angry - playing it cool doesn't mean you have to hide that you're angry, just keep it cool

those that get angry and blow are generally seen as lower down the ladder (lack of self-control, can't handle shyt, etc. - is what it says to others) unless you're down at that rung already and then it looks fine

in some places, like chimp society, blowing a gasket with huge noisy and angry display is how the alpha male establishes dominance (fun shyt to watch if you can catch it on discovery channel...) some sections of human male society are like that -- if that's where you're at, displays of anger may work. if you're somewhere a bit more evolved, it backfires. usually blowing a gasket backfires around women from what i've seen and heard, except around the more simple ones who seem to be impressed by it. like someone said above, some of them want that...

theres always an exception, if i was ever getting jumped... i would definetly go apesyhte on someones azz..in,well..a NOT gay kind of way . sometimes having a screw loose helps situations, with a girl for instance - i usually keep my cool, but she knows that i am 'crazy' and if anything bad were to happen and she is with me... i could 'handle' it and that she would be okay :kick:

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

self-mastery= verbal abuser :trouble: