Keeping A Grl?

[rob23]

hey i have a slight problem on my hand... theres this grl i like we were friends before, and now its coming out to be way more than that weve had sex a couples times now, and im the second guy shes ever had sex with, first was her ex which she was madly in love with. so right now i don't really know how i should be acting around her, should i show her attention or should i not, like im confused on how to keep a girl once u have her.... need advice....

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

just act like nothing happened and keep it cool. If you have sex with her again your either. Friends with benefits or something more. She will most likely come out and say something to you about the relationship. But, if it was me. I'd just go for the ride and fvck all you can

 

[Docs]

Don't mention anything until she does.

 

[rob23]

see thats the thing shes told me how she likes me blaw blaw but ill be honest with u im the one thats a bit insecure, because of her ex. soo u think i shouldn't say anything about how i feel toward her at alll or ever?

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

so whats the problem with her ex and your insecurity.

 

[Docs]

Ex, that means WAS and not NOW.

 

[rob23]

honestly its true now is now! see the problem is............ u know what in all honesty i played my cards right in the start, i know how to get a grl but when i have her i don't know how to behave or act i don't understand whats to much attention, i ask her if shes k? shes never asked about how i am ever, but yet she tells me how im everything she wants and than the next day she doesn't so much attention its fukin annoying.... and im insecure with the fact she was going out with her man 3 years and i mean if he comes bak crying saying i want u bak im afraid she may say yes... but yet shes showing me every sign that shes moved on but i find it hard to believe because of our past and my insecurities

 

[Docs]

That's the purpose of experience. Judging by your typing style and the type of problem, you're still under 20. Lots of time to test this out, and as you know, there is always another girl if you screw up.

So, go nuts. Even TALKING to her, about how you'd want a bit more attention, does wonders, because she might not know how to act either.

 

[jamescr73]

soo u think i shouldn't say anything about how i feel toward her at alll or ever?

Correct. For now dont tell her anything, just make her wonder what you really think of her. Thats whats attracting her to you, its the challenge. People dont want stuff just given to them. Its more exciting and worth it more when you have to work for it. If she comes out and says, I really like you, blah blah, say "yeah, I like me too" and smile. Dont give in, because once you do and tell her your feelings toward her, she will begin to lose interest.

Next off, about keeping your girl. Keep her satisfied. Both physically and mentally. Obviously her and the ex broke up for a reason. After 3-4 years stuff goes downhill really fast. Lately ive heard of a lot of people (friends of mine etc), that are breaking up at the 3-3.5 year mark. Me and my ex broke up at 3 years 1 month. What you have to do is #1 get the insecurity out of your head, because if you show it to her, she might drop you even if the ex doesnt come back in the picture. Wash the insecurity away, and realize that you will keep your girl because you are better for her than the ex. Show her a good time, and make her realize that she is better off with you and even if he does come crawling back she will decide to be with you.

Short story about keeping your girl. I dated this chick a few months back and she got really clingy and I wasnt ready to be all smothered and crap, and I found out through a friend that she was saying how she was in love with me and about to tell me, but i broke up with her (right in time i might add). We were together 5 weeks. So i broke it off with her but we stayed "friends", and have been fukking once a week lately. Well she met a new guy, and i guess he has a vagina between his legs because he wont make a move on her. So she comes to me for the d1ck. Hes the provider and im the lover. 2 weeks ago she wanted a booty call really bad and was nagging me for like 3 days, but i was really busy. Finally one night i had a few hours to sit and watch some tv and i figured why not, and I text messaged her to come over and get what she wanted. She actually left the guys house and told him that she had to get some things finished up for work the next day, and she came to my house to get fukked. So, long story short, keep your girl satisfied and you will keep her.

 

[rob23]

That's the purpose of experience. Judging by your typing style and the type of problem, you're still under 20. Lots of time to test this out, and as you know, there is always another girl if you screw up.

So, go nuts. Even TALKING to her, about how you'd want a bit more attention, does wonders, because she might not know how to act either.

docs see i understand theres many girls out there, but the problem with me is that when i like something i want it! and i don't like many grls in fact this has to be the first girl ive ever liked and im 21. ive dated many grls in the past but i mean i notice a lot of girls these days just don't have that sparkle to them, they all seem to blaw and controlled by the media, they don't have there own opinions thoughts and feelings. thus the reason why i can't just put her in the category of "just a grl" which is the problem i guess.... non the less this has been a huge help. thanks.

 

[rob23]

jamescr73 what if ive hinted my feelings to her a bit, can i pull back? and also lately i been paying for a lot of the stuff i mean nothing expensive but i mean just for lil things here and there. i think i may be spoiling her a lil to much, and how do i pull bak from that too? this is how i feel:

some days im confident enough to say that if her ex came back in the pic, she'd choose me over him any day, Other days where i play my game week i feel like im losing her. ive been having a lot of these ups and downs, reason could be because i talk to her on the phone everyday and almost see her everyday she'll come down from her area which takes 30-40 min she'll call in between her breaks, how do i possibly avoid her?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

:nono: Beware of becoming the "Rebound Guy."

 

[reset]

It's been said here that most women who are in a relationship, will set up another guy for branch swinging, and when she's secured him (or thinks she has) then she cuts ties with the last guy and goes for the new guy.

So how could you NOT be the rebound guy?

Of course, when a girl is in a LTR and cuts ties, she may take all the guilt, drama and stuff out on YOU, and in that case, it's probably best to still see her but in the beginning just limit the contact.

Stop paying for things, unless it's a "I pay this time, you pay next time" sort of thing. Phone calls should be short and to the point where you arrange to see each other, and right now you're seeing each other too much. "Give her the gift of missing you."

This way she's not able to cling to you too early, and you can still maintain that challenge, which keeps her coming after you.

 

[rob23]

yea that makes a lot of sense, so i guess the best thing i can do is, play the push pull theory, it got me with her and i guess ill play the same thing to stay with her. If theres any other advice id appreciate it but all this has been really helpful guys thanks..

 

[rob23]

That's the purpose of experience. Judging by your typing style and the type of problem, you're still under 20. Lots of time to test this out, and as you know, there is always another girl if you screw up.

So, go nuts. Even TALKING to her, about how you'd want a bit more attention, does wonders, because she might not know how to act either.

just curious to know you sure it would be wise to actually ask her for a bit more attention? i mean that would be nice, but u sure i should actually ask her?