Keeping a girls interest up; be a while before we hang out

[itishe]

Hey guys,

I got this girls number from my hometown via facebook with the intent of seeing her when I got back to my hometown.

I messaged her the day before I left to go home, and she got back to me about 3 days later giving me her number and to give her a call sometime. Since I was heading back to the new city within two days and had plans I shot her a message back saying I'll give her a call next time I'd be around town.

Since spring is almost here it's time to break out the motorcycle and I figure giving her a ride on the bike would be funner than getting coffee or something gay like that. I was thinking about shooting her a text seeing what's up and seeing if she's ever been on a bike before (perhaps build excitement and keep interest up) or if I should just wait the month or so before I head home again.

 

[Kailex]

Hey guys,

I got this girls number from my hometown via facebook with the intent of seeing her when I got back to my hometown.

I messaged her the day before I left to go home, and she got back to me about 3 days later giving me her number and to give her a call sometime. Since I was heading back to the new city within two days and had plans I shot her a message back saying I'll give her a call next time I'd be around town.

Since spring is almost here it's time to break out the motorcycle and I figure giving her a ride on the bike would be funner than getting coffee or something gay like that. I was thinking about shooting her a text seeing what's up and seeing if she's ever been on a bike before (perhaps build excitement and keep interest up) or if I should just wait the month or so before I head home again.

How is coffee gay?
It's a low-investment, low-commitment first date than can help you decide in a matter of minutes whether you want to continue to talk to this girl or not.

Hell, I'd probably transition from the coffee date into riding a bike, if you feel chemistry.

Coffee dates have saved me from making many mistakes in the past, not only with the wrong woman, but with my financial situation. If you have her number, why text her? Just call her. Calling can build more excitement and keep interest up and you can gauge her interest as well. You can't do that over text.

So, just to make sure, this is a girl who you probably won't be seeing for another month, correct??

 

[itishe]

How is coffee gay?
It's a low-investment, low-commitment first date than can help you decide in a matter of minutes whether you want to continue to talk to this girl or not.

Hell, I'd probably transition from the coffee date into riding a bike, if you feel chemistry.

Coffee dates have saved me from making many mistakes in the past, not only with the wrong woman, but with my financial situation. If you have her number, why text her? Just call her. Calling can build more excitement and keep interest up and you can gauge her interest as well. You can't do that over text.

So, just to make sure, this is a girl who you probably won't be seeing for another month, correct??

I don't want to drink coffee let alone hear a woman talk while I drink something I do not want to drink, I rather ride my motorcycle and it'd be fun if she could join me. Calling seems weird to me when I barely know them. I like to see people in person when I'm getting to know them as if there's an awkward silence it's not magnified ten fold. I'm willing to do a social first date but not something retarded like coffee.

Yes, I won't be seeing her for another month as that's when I head back to my hometown. If you're going to say, "hey man wtf you're wasting minutes on a girl who lives in a different town, go find some new *****es in your city man" then shove it. I've heard enough of that beaten mantra from the keyboard jockeys.

 

[Kailex]

I don't want to drink coffee let alone hear a woman talk while I drink something I do not want to drink, I rather ride my motorcycle and it'd be fun if she could join me. Calling seems weird to me when I barely know them. I like to see people in person when I'm getting to know them as if there's an awkward silence it's not magnified ten fold. I'm willing to do a social first date but not something retarded like coffee.

Yes, I won't be seeing her for another month as that's when I head back to my hometown. If you're going to say, "hey man wtf you're wasting minutes on a girl who lives in a different town, go find some new *****es in your city man" then shove it. I've heard enough of that beaten mantra from the keyboard jockeys.

Then I guess you don't need any advice from anyone here.
Why are you even posting then?

And second, I wasn't going to say that you were wasting your time. I just wanted to measure the timeline to help advise you, but since you already know all the answers, why should I even respond after this message?

Because, I know I'm most certainly not wasting another post on you.

Clearly guys, he doesn't need advice, so no need to offer any.

 

[itishe]

You've guessed wrong.

I don't mean to come across as a ****. I've sought advice from this forum in the past and I thought the trajectory of your advice was going to follow what I've heard hundreds of times before.

I like advice, just advice that isn't robotic spew following mantras established from the DJ bible. You'd be foolish to think the majority of advice given on this forum is good. Perhaps 3 years ago this would be the case but this site has been flooded with bad advice/advice that is copy and pasted from another source that one must be careful with the advice given.

I would like to hear from you.

 

[Igetit!]

Well to be honest,I 100% agree with everything Kailex said. Everything he said makes PERFECT sense.


I don't see what it is you have against drinking coffee since it's cheap and an easy way for you two to get to know each other,but hey,you're the man here,and it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to set up a date you two would BOTH enjoy.


So if you don't want coffee,then fine,do something else. But whatever it is you come up with,it'll have to be something to help aid you in connecting with her.



The motorcycle thing isn't bad,it's just that it'll be difficult to talk while you're both wearing helmets and have the wind blowing in your face at 50 miles per hour.

I don't want to drink coffee let alone hear a woman talk while I drink something I do not want to drink,

So what's the issue here? Is it the coffee,or having to listen to her talk?

Because the coffee can be done away with,but listening to her talk isn't an option.

You HAVE TO listen to her talk. Whether it's to date her or just to sleep with her once or twice,either way,you're not going to get around having to have a one on one discussion with her at some point.

I rather ride my motorcycle and it'd be fun if she could join me.

I still agree with Kailex.

Having coffee for 30 or 40 minutes,then hopping on your bike afterwards seems to be the way to go.

Calling seems weird to me when I barely know them.

You may need to just tough it out and call her anyway.

I mean she did give you her number. To me it seems odd that you'd obtain her number and not want to call her.

The WHOLE PURPOSE of a PHONE number is to communicate by PHONE.

I like to see people in person when I'm getting to know them

I agree,but the phone is used to CONTINUE THE CONNECTION you two made in person.

It's used in place of the times when you CAN'T see each other,such as the situation you find yourself in now.

I'm willing to do a social first date but not something retarded like coffee.

Then do something else.

A walk in a mall,hanging out at the park,taking her to see some type of landmark,something,but whatever it is,you two HAVE TO TALK so she'll feel like she's getting to know you and feel comfortable with you.

Yes, I won't be seeing her for another month as that's when I head back to my hometown.

Well I don't know what the deal was with the initial interaction between you two. Was it a short conversation,then she gave you her number or had you two known each other for a few days,maybe already had a date,then you went out of town?



If it was just a short convo then getting her number,you might want to call her sometime in the month you have to wait to see her again.


NOT TOO MUCH,though. And the convo CAN'T BE boring,either.


It has to be something to stir up her emotions. I say maybe call her twice before returning back home,so space the calls out.



Seems to me the only issue you had with Kailex's suggestion was the coffee.

If you don't like coffee,then just replace it with something else.

 

[itishe]

I know her from school, and seeing her at her place of work. We'd talk and I got decent vibes from her in our short conversations. One day it hit me that she's kind of cute and I'd like to go out with her sometime. So I knew I was heading home in a few days so I sent her a message on facebook saying I'd be in town and we should hang out. By the time she got back to me it was time for me to leave so I said I'd call her sometime I'm back in town.

All in all I don't know her too well.

I was thinking a text would keep me in her mind and if she's never been on a motorcycle before perhaps it excite her and make her think, "man I can't wait to go for that ride with itishe". Basically I wanted to say, "Hey heather, it's Itishe. How's it going? Have you ever been on a motorcycle? "

I try not to over think things but to me unless I'm in town and ready to go on a date calling a couple weeks ahead of time just seems odd and I think the conversation will run dead pretty quick. I suck at phone conversations if I don't know the person, but in person I seem to do much better at interactions. I understand that interaction is necessary when first getting to know a girl better so perhaps I will bite the bullet and get some tea, etc. and then go for a ride.

I just worry that there's a bigger chance I screw things up with a random phone call than I do a text/waiting until i'm back in town.

All in all I was just curious if I should have radio silence until I go home or perhaps send a text here and there to keep me on her mind, build anticipation for a date.

 

[Igetit!]

I know her from school, and seeing her at her place of work. We'd talk and I got decent vibes from her in our short conversations.

You said "conversationS".

So you two have spoken on more than one occasion.

That's good. And since you have her number,that's all the more reason to call her up.

I understand your concern about the convo possibly running dry,but you still should call her. Just make the conversation somewhat emotional for her and keep the call SHORT. Cut it off at a high point.


It may be easier to text than to call,but a call is more personal.

A woman NEEDS to her your voice. Your voice will stir up more feelings in her than reading some text would.

I was thinking a text would keep me in her mind

Your voice would do this better.

Basically I wanted to say, "Hey heather, it's Itishe. How's it going? Have you ever been on a motorcycle? "

Uhhh...this is kind of dry. You need something with a little more "ummph",some gusto to it.


You need to get more personal. Talk about you and HER.

The focus should be on YOU.

You want her to be excited about YOU,not riding a motorcycle.


If YOU are the source of the excitement,then it won't matter what you do for the date,motorcycle or not.

I suck at phone conversations if I don't know the person, but in person I seem to do much better at interactions.

Then use the little bit you do know about her and expound on it in the phonecall.

I understand that interaction is necessary when first getting to know a girl better so perhaps I will bite the bullet and get some tea, etc. and then go for a ride.

Good plan.

I just worry that there's a bigger chance I screw things up with a random phone call than I do a text/waiting until i'm back in town.

Then take some time to think about what you want to say to her before calling. Just make WHATEVER IT IS emotional,and keep the call short.

All in all I was just curious if I should have radio silence until I go home or perhaps send a text here and there to keep me on her mind, build anticipation for a date.

Well if it was only a week or two that you were going to be away,I'd say just wait until you return,but a month....that's a bit much.

I'd just call her,talk a bit,wait two weeks (unless she calls you),then call her again. Then the next thing you know,you'll be back home,then you can resume things normally.

 

[kingsam]

**deleted**

 

[Joe Stud]

As the mobster's driver in the 1st Rocky movie said to Rocky:
"Take her to the zoo"

 

[ericstratton]

as a younger (early 20s) guy, i am a huge fan of coffee route because many college girls perceive that your choice of this venue makes you more mature than the faux-frat boy that invited her to hang at a kegger. I've found if there is a patio at the coffee shop then my ADHD will ensure I am not overly interested because you can take in the surroundings and at times use it to stimulate convo if it's stalling.

zoo and aquarium are clutch because even if she sucks, the animals are funny as hell.

 

[itishe]

Yeah you know what **** it. Worse comes to worse the conversation bombs, I keep banging the girl I'm banging right now (but lost feelings for). I got nothing to lose.

I'll keep it brief here's what I had in mind. Before you read it I have trouble understanding "keep emotions high for her". With girls I've dated for a while I can say, "I can't wait to **** your brains out" to excite them but with this relatively new girl I have trouble with how to do that.

"hey how's it going this is Itishe"
-"Oh hey how's it going"
"Not too shabby, just wanted to see how you're doing I havn't talked to you in a while"
-"Yeah been busy with blah blah blah"
"Yeah how's that going by the way, you still doing blah blah blah"

Before I know it I'll tell her I gotta jet but I'll be back home in a month or so and we'll set something up then.