Just weird

2nd_Chance

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Last night my girl broke things off with me. She said she didn't feel the same anymore. She said she doesn't have time for a boyfriend right now. She says we will try again later. I was probably AFC. Whatever... I'll learn I guess. I know that I need to grow.

Weird coincidences keep happening. I was at church and I guy was talking about his girlfriend breaking up with him, and... then they got back together. I went to the movies tonight and practically saw what happened to me last night in the movie. Except they got back together.

Anyway, in the movie, after being a TOTAL AFC, worse than I ever was, the guy realized he had to let her go. He kinda did, and eventually got back with her (I didn't pick this movie, BTW, I was just chilling out with friends)

And there has been other weird things.. idk. A lot. Just within the past week, and everything points to couples breaking up and getting back together. I don't usually believe in stuff like this, but idk. I can't help but think about it.

So, I realize I need to let go. I work with this chick- how should I act towards her. If I act cold she will probably think I am just upset over what happened. If I act flirty and stuff, that would let her know I am still interested, but I am not sure that she is open to it. I want to give her space, like for several weeks to a month... but I don't have the option of staying away.
 

The Inside Man

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All movies these days are like that. Take control of your life, these aren't coincidences in the universe with stars lined up. One good rule of thumb that has usually held true for me is if it is in the past, which your situation recently is, then let it go. Its different that you work with her, but the best idea is to act disinterested. Go on with your own life, and if she decides to pursue you again its your prerogative then but still, I don't recommend it. There really are a lot of amazing girls out there, if she broke it off then hold on some sense of decency and don't go crawling back. my 2cents
 

whatsup

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i feel for you man. working with an ex is tough. DO NOT: tell her u miss her, call her, text her, stare at her. Resist the urge to act bitter to her. If she initiates conversation with you just be a fun cool guy. You're prolly thinking u should do something to win her back or convince her u should be together....don't. if u can .... just dont think about her. try to pretend she doesnt exist unless she initiates a conversation with u at work. your best chance to get her back is to back off. if she feels that u dont miss her and your carrying on with your life and having fun she'll see you in a positive way. if she initiates conversation you can keep it mildly flirty at times...this way she doesnt start seeing u as just a friend.
 

2nd_Chance

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whatsup said:
i feel for you man. working with an ex is tough. DO NOT: tell her u miss her, call her, text her, stare at her. Resist the urge to act bitter to her. If she initiates conversation with you just be a fun cool guy. You're prolly thinking u should do something to win her back or convince her u should be together....don't. if u can .... just dont think about her. try to pretend she doesnt exist unless she initiates a conversation with u at work. your best chance to get her back is to back off. if she feels that u dont miss her and your carrying on with your life and having fun she'll see you in a positive way. if she initiates conversation you can keep it mildly flirty at times...this way she doesnt start seeing u as just a friend.

Your right. Well, I told her I missed her before she broke it off with me. But yeah, no more. And yeah, I was thinking that. I was gonna try and start conversations with her... but not now. Probably just "how are you" and leave it alone.

The problem is I look like Hell when I ignore her, cause yeah... I do like her, and I do miss what we were... and it was only a few days ago :( Just by me looking like that she can tell I miss her and whatnot. I guess I should try and strike up a conversation with the other guys/girls and whatnot. IDK.
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Monkey

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You are OUT with this girl O U T, OUT!

When you see her, smile, be poilte but give her NOTHING more.
 

kingwilliam

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Damnit, I hate when girls do this. Stay busy, show up to work with a couple of new outfits, start working out, get a haircut........................
 

2nd_Chance

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kingwilliam said:
Damnit, I hate when girls do this. Stay busy, show up to work with a couple of new outfits, start working out, get a haircut........................

Crazy- I just got a haircut, ONE HOUR AGO. Then I read this. And I started taking my workouts seriously on Tuesday. I don't quite have the money for new outfits, but I bought some new jeans about a week ago.

But yeah, I like my haircut. I feel really positive today. IDK. She said she liked my hair long, and I just cut it REALLY short. But I like it. I also liked it long (she just happened to tell me she liked it that way.) I am working with her later today. But its alright. I don't care what she thinks because she doesn't care about me :)

I have come to realize that even if she did come back and want me like before, or even more- I couldn't ever go back with her because I wouldn't be able to trust that she would be with me 100%. It hurts like hell when someone is really close one day, and gone the next for no good reason. To be honest, I think more is going on than she tells me, but I can't worry about that anymore. I just need to keep telling myself its over.

Thanks guys ;)
 

2nd_Chance

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A little update- plus I need to vent a bit.

Went to work, and of course, she was there. I walk in and everyone notices my haircut. Cool. :) Even she said something, but then, idk, she calmed down and backed off (like, she remembered all of a sudden what happened and backed away) I saw her looking at me a little for the first hour, but to be honest, I was sad. IDK. Tried to stay indifferent. You can't just get over a chick like this in one day. It was obvious to her, but not to anyone else though, I don't think. At one point she was like "[my name] I know your pissed at me but... etc..." and I just said "I'm not pissed at you"

We made eye contact on occasion but mainly avoided each other. At some points I could see she wasn't happy. IDK. She screwed up by letting me go though... she probably just doesn't realize it yet. She hurt her hand after a while and was telling people, then she came up to me and was like "my hand hurts soo bad..." but all I did was look at it, didn't change my expression, didn't say a word. She walked away.

We left without saying goodbye.

You know, I really think she has feelings for me, I think she is upset. I just don't know. She has been getting mad at me a lot for nothing. I mean, yeah, I am not putting up with this... but she doesn't just get mad over nothing... unless its more than nothing. IDK.

Women are weird. I really do want to just get over her... :( seeing her tonight was rough. Im not myself, I mean, I picked up after a little while, but yeah... its just not the same.
 

Moofahsa

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I think all of us afc and former afc guys have had those tough times. Sleepless nights, weight loss...bah

I'd have probably quit my job back in the day
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

The Inside Man

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2nd_Chance said:
It hurts like hell when someone is really close one day, and gone the next for no good reason. To be honest, I think more is going on than she tells me, but I can't worry about that anymore. I just need to keep telling myself its over.

Thanks guys ;)
Man, it sure does. But it will make you stronger. You are on the right track, with the right attitude!! Time really does heal all wounds. Put in the hours at work, and make it just that...a job. Then go out and meet some new cool girls who will treat you right. Don't give up and don't give in.. I've been there before a few times and I'm sure most others on here have. Never takes away the pain tho no matter how many times its happened, seems like.:trouble:
 

2nd_Chance

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After about an hour, I told myself - Man, you need to find a new job. This just won't work. It was a painful night. I texted a friend of mine and he came by and said whats up, cheered me up a bit. Finally told him later what happened between me and her, and I could tell he was a bit worried about me. I told him I will be alright... and I really will be. At least I won't be working with her the rest of the week, and I don't know about next week yet. 2 days, hopefully I won't see her at all... but, idk. We seem to just run into each other.
 

Moofahsa

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I know it sounds retarded, but give it time. I went through a hard break up (I broke it off) but not b/c the girl, I got really attached to her kid and felt really guilty. Thankfully I stuck to my guns

Just dont cave man, it'll be tough...
 

2nd_Chance

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How long though? Three days, and I still feel like Hell. :-\ If only I had something to take my mind off of her. All the people I hang with are working today, so I am kinda stuck at home.
 
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