I was the one to break it off, I was the one leading the relationship, and i was the one who eventually led her away. I initially told her to move on, as 'we' wouldn't work. I dated a couple plates thereafter but never found any chemistry.
So i did the unthinkable, i tried to dabble in the past, and boy, did it feel like ****. Did i get sex? No. Why the fxck did i contact her and try to get a lay? Validation. Tonight I was feeling lonely, i wanted someone to cuddle, someone that actaully WANTED to spend time with me and i could **** their brains out.
All i got was a hard cold reality check. Once a chick says in her mind it's over, it's over. I tried, I pushed, I kinoed, i tried to make her feel emotions. She was crying, saying she wanted it to work, but we knew it wouldn't work. In the past we tried FWB, but it didn't work. Her friends convinced her to stay away from me, and that we couldn't be any more than friends. Her friends were against me, and her mind was pushing me away.
I just wanted to post this for myself and for those who are thinking in reconciling with exes, be careful what you wish for. I ended tonight breaking her even more mentally, making myself feel like total ****, and realising that my life is currently going total **** for me to reach back into the trash.
At one point in the night, i even felt that she had the dynamics over what was going on. She started looking better in my eyes, was more decisive of what she wanted, despite what her emotions told her. It had felt like I had genuinely lost a good woman forever. This experience taught me not to dig back into my past and look for comfort... rather keep moving towards the future and make steps towards it. Cause when you try to get back what you had in the past, the experience will never the same first time round when you had it.
Nonsense post but fxck it. I was an AFC today and tried to mentally manipulate my ex into sleeping with me. I got a hard reality check when she thought about the dynamics of our relationship and it wouldn't work. Learnt women's friends work against you if you don't side with them, and that women's emotions when fully thought out, are hard to change...
So i did the unthinkable, i tried to dabble in the past, and boy, did it feel like ****. Did i get sex? No. Why the fxck did i contact her and try to get a lay? Validation. Tonight I was feeling lonely, i wanted someone to cuddle, someone that actaully WANTED to spend time with me and i could **** their brains out.
All i got was a hard cold reality check. Once a chick says in her mind it's over, it's over. I tried, I pushed, I kinoed, i tried to make her feel emotions. She was crying, saying she wanted it to work, but we knew it wouldn't work. In the past we tried FWB, but it didn't work. Her friends convinced her to stay away from me, and that we couldn't be any more than friends. Her friends were against me, and her mind was pushing me away.
I just wanted to post this for myself and for those who are thinking in reconciling with exes, be careful what you wish for. I ended tonight breaking her even more mentally, making myself feel like total ****, and realising that my life is currently going total **** for me to reach back into the trash.
At one point in the night, i even felt that she had the dynamics over what was going on. She started looking better in my eyes, was more decisive of what she wanted, despite what her emotions told her. It had felt like I had genuinely lost a good woman forever. This experience taught me not to dig back into my past and look for comfort... rather keep moving towards the future and make steps towards it. Cause when you try to get back what you had in the past, the experience will never the same first time round when you had it.
Nonsense post but fxck it. I was an AFC today and tried to mentally manipulate my ex into sleeping with me. I got a hard reality check when she thought about the dynamics of our relationship and it wouldn't work. Learnt women's friends work against you if you don't side with them, and that women's emotions when fully thought out, are hard to change...