Just Played My Top Card With The GF

[bcude]

This is a good lesson for the future LL, this is why you put up your expectations for the LTR when you decide to commit to one so everyone knows what's up up front. Not having guy friends/exes in the picture/meeting guys 1on1 is a good one to keep in mind for the future.
This was a bad bad sign, not only talking to him but lying to you about it.
She SAYS she wont talk to him anymore and you can't do anything else than to believe her, but now it will so much more tempting for her to do exactly that. I don't see a good ending to this.

 

[Billtx49]

It’s not fixed. She showed her true colors.

I agree completely, chatting up another guy on any platform behind a mans back, plus the lying, is as we all know the first step in the process of full blown physical cheating. A man is Never on safe ground if a woman has the mindset that those actions are acceptable. Lies and deception are not on my good woman's character checklist.
LL is fortunate that he noticed this type of behavior from her early.

 

[Spaz]

You're already suspected something was amiss - her attitude, mood and a million other small things you can't exactly pinpoint.

That's why you checked.

And that's ur instincts at work.

If it was all innocent as the others here claims, she wouldn't have changed to the extent that ur instincts caught up to it.

Dismiss immediately or you will be dismissed.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

There’s dudes on 2 sides here. Some people say she was going right behind your back and that you should have been harsher with her, others are like “she’s just talking to someone, so what”.

You took the middle ground, which I think was the best here. The only thing is, I wouldn’t have phrased it as a question i.e. ‘do you want an open relationship?’ because it could have actually backfired on you. I think you just should have said “I mean I’m not gonna get all mad/jealous/whatever about it, but if you’re gonna talk to other men, I’ll just start talking to other women then”. Or something like that. Overall though, I think it was handled pretty well.

I think what Iamath said was most important tbh, because that nuance he noted matters:

“it depends did she told you she is not talking to that guy anymore or that she is not gonna talk to that guy anymore”

The only thing now is that she may be more secretive behind your back about this stuff. She did, however, cry though. That suggests that she actually does like you a lot, which means it’s unlikely that she’ll go behind your back again. At least for the time being anyway.

And like the other dude said, give her a bunch of strong orgasms right now. This way you’ll leave a much stronger emotional imprint on her because she’s currently more emotionally vulnerable due to the strong emotions she just experienced; you will be more deeply engrained within her not just mentally, but also physically as well, and can be the start of her associating you with pleasure itself. Think Pavlov’s dogs. Basically, it’ll place you higher up on her ‘High Score List’.

I know this is kinda ****ed up because you’re actually messing around with her psyche itself, but it’ll keep her from acting up again. Plus, it can probably make her become infatuated with you again like how new lovers tend to be. Any time a woman has experienced a very strong/heavy emotion, she’ll usually be a lot more emotionally vulnerable. Note the signs of when this is so that you can permanently leave your mark on her.


Well this ended up turning a lot more Machiavellian than I originally intended...

 

[Bible_Belt]

Better watch your own phone, because whoever you chatted to earlier might randomly text you back at any time. Then you look like the cheater.

 

[The Diver]

To ask a woman to cut ties 100% with everyone she dated or her guy friends or whatever, actually comes from a place of insecurity, scarcity, and fear

Spot on ^
When I try to explain this point to friends or on other forums, it's like talking to the wall.

When I explain my approach on this point to a girl I'm dating, their attraction level toward me almost always spike up, due to my covertly expression of my confidence.

In my book, she can talk to whoever she wants, but if she crosses the lines (boundary) I outlined to her in our first few interactions, she will lose me.
Obviously, if she does cross the lines, she doesn't care enough about you, so then you should move on without too much drama.

Isolating your girl from her social circle, including male friends, IS a demonstration of insecurity, scarcity, and fear.

 

[logicallefty]

Better watch your own phone, because whoever you chatted to earlier might randomly text you back at any time. Then you look like the cheater.

I did text one of them today and chatted very briefly. I am for sure careful as this chick today is saved in my phone as "Jason J." and alerts turned off so it doesn't pop up. My old FWBs/bullpen are always saved as male names when I am in a LTR so they attract less attention just like you say. But honestly I don't talk to them much unless I go to code orange like I did today. Been in code yellow for a long time and yellow or below I don't talk to any other chicks.

 

[soulforge]

I just finished banging a hoe.. I'm tired and my dik is sore...

However I will tell you this..you will NEVER trust her again!

Dump this hoe. Move on!

 

[soulforge]

I fuking love SS... This is where we step out of the Matrix!!

 

[soulforge]

This isn't fixed... Bruv give it a couple more months, she will fuk you over!

Looking forward to your BDP thread.

 

[logicallefty]

I fuking love SS... This is where we step out of the Matrix!!

Its the only place to step out for me. I am surrounded by blue pill people in all walks of life. Ironically my mother is probably the closest red pill person I have to talk to but she slips back and fourth.Sometimes she totally agrees with me and sometimes she tells me I’m paranoid!

 

[ubercat]

Haha paranoids still have enemies too

 

[EyeBRollin]

I appreciate all of the feedback, no matter what it says. She calmed down and we talked a little bit. She said she was sorry she upset me and I said “Not upset just what to make sure I understand the terms of our relationship. If you want to talk to other men that’s fine it just means I’m gonna talk to other women “ She said no she doesn’t want that she only wants me and won’t talk to him anymore. I said great problem solved and that was that .

Glad to hear. Move on and don’t bring it up again. Overall this is well done and best you could hope for.

I see a lot of people in this thread have been single for years.

 

[Atom Smasher]

She’s very likely to act up again in female “revenge” style because you called her out on it and suggested an open relationship. Beware.

 

[SoSuave666]

She’s very likely to act up again in female “revenge” style because you called her out on it and suggested an open relationship. Beware.

Correct. You suggested an open relationship now you must live in one or break free. The terms are now different whether you want them to be or not. Any woman who openly, in the face of her man, chats with other men and lies about it, is not relationship material.

 

[zekko]

I honestly have no problem with a girl talking to a guy unless it becomes excessive. It's not that surprising that the guy contacted her after a breakup, he probably wanted to vent. The lying is the issue.

Although maybe she wasn't lying, maybe she hadn't been talking to him. But then he had the breakup and reached out.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She’s very likely to act up again in female “revenge” style because you called her out on it and suggested an open relationship. Beware.

No she’s not. Women aren’t inherently evil they just operate based on interest level and security seeking.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I just finished banging a hoe.. I'm tired and my dik is sore...

However I will tell you this..you will NEVER trust her again!

Dump this hoe. Move on!

Correct. You suggested an open relationship now you must live in one or break free. The terms are now different whether you want them to be or not. Any woman who openly, in the face of her man, chats with other men and lies about it, is not relationship material.

I hope y’all don’t take this irrational paranoia into relationships. Y’all making it sound like she fvcked another dude.

 

[Spaz]

I hope y’all don’t take this irrational paranoia into relationships. Y’all making it sound like she fvcked another dude.

Is that how you convince urself to assuage ur fears of what ur women is currently doing?

BTW, I'm one of the very few posters here who seldoms advocate dismissing an LTR or wife but when I do, as in this case, it's not based on fantasy nor theory of what could.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Is that how you convince urself to assuage ur fears of what ur women is currently doing?

There is no fear.