i have been with my wife for 14 years now. within the last year with this woman, i lost my home because she wasnt paying the morgage, i lost my dream car due to the bills were out of hand, so we needed the money, then we move to a crap apartment all the way across town, then she loses her job, then after living there for 3weeks i find out that she has been bringing a guy over while i am at work to pay the bills. i didnt find out from her that this was happening, i found out from the other guy. this guy tells me that he lives a block away from the new place that i live at, i put all the peices together and i wanted to kill her. we have a son together so not talking to her is a bit hard as well. after 2 weeks of finding all this stuff out she hands me the divorce papers, 2 weeks after!!! fast forward a couple months to a month ago when i start dating a really cool girl, my wife finds out about her by comming into my place to pick up my son and finds my "girlfreinds" stuff all over, not long after my wife leaves she starts texting me saying that she wants me back. a few days ago i told my "girlfreind" i needed more time to myself because she pretty much moved in with me. to this day my wife is still texting me wanting me back. now during the 3 months we have been apart she was telling me things that i felt were to rub it in my face. they were harsh to say the least, but now she doesnt mean any of those things. ok i am done!!!!
just need to vent!!!
- Thread starter spice1
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Splendidostring
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Hiya
i have been with my wife for 14 years now. within the last year with this woman, i lost my home because she wasnt paying the morgage, i lost my dream car due to the bills were out of hand, so we needed the money, then we move to a crap apartment all the way across town, then she loses her job, then after living there for 3weeks i find out that she has been bringing a guy over while i am at work to pay the bills.
I dont want to but this will sound harsh.
Do you really want someone that A) threatened your financial situation B) can't keep her job c) Cheats on you.
The answer is yours but from what I can see she wants you back because she lost her "comfort zone" and she's trying to get it back. She might do anything possible to break your new relationship. I'd say fist, settle things down with the girlfriend, explain what's going on and then move on the ex case.
Of course you might want her back, that's another option.
Goo luck,
i have been with my wife for 14 years now. within the last year with this woman, i lost my home because she wasnt paying the morgage, i lost my dream car due to the bills were out of hand, so we needed the money, then we move to a crap apartment all the way across town, then she loses her job, then after living there for 3weeks i find out that she has been bringing a guy over while i am at work to pay the bills.
I dont want to but this will sound harsh.
Do you really want someone that A) threatened your financial situation B) can't keep her job c) Cheats on you.
The answer is yours but from what I can see she wants you back because she lost her "comfort zone" and she's trying to get it back. She might do anything possible to break your new relationship. I'd say fist, settle things down with the girlfriend, explain what's going on and then move on the ex case.
Of course you might want her back, that's another option.
Goo luck,
Way too many questions come to mind like:spice1 said:
Why weren't YOU paying the mortgage?
Why did YOU let the bills get out of hand?
Why did SHE lose her job?
Why did YOU allow yourself to move the other side of town?
How did YOU end up talking to HIM?
well i was dumb by trusting my wife to make the payments, she lost her job because she is a nail tech, due to everyones money situation they just cant afford getting their nails done anymore, at least from what i was told. again with the move i was dumb for trusting her intent on the move, i was very dumb with everything, i can see this now trust me, i was able to talk to him because i had a feeling something was up, so i checked her phone history on-line, one number popped up the most, so i called it and just started talking to the guy. he knew who i was, he knew she was married. so thats how i found it all out. yes i know now, dont trust anyone to take care of your financial obligations. i was VERY dumb i couldnt imagine she would do anything like this to me. i have learned things the hard way, but i learned from my mistakes.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
How were years 1-13?
GeorgeStrom
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let it out buddy...let it out....
honestly my marrage was great, till 8 months ago. it would have been nice to have listened to myself, i had a bad feeling that something was up. oh well, now she is trying to get back with me, i wonder if it would be a good idea to inform her boyfriend her intent? i feel as though if i dont then i am no better than either one of them....
If getting back together with your wife is something you really want to do, then do it. Don't let anyone try to stop you. Everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes the best thing to do is to learn from them and not repeat them again. That goes for both you and her.
A lot of people on this forum will say "fuck her... find someone better," as if somewhere in the world there's this flawless, inhuman lady that's completely incapable of disappointing you or ever making a mistake. Get over yourselves.
I've made some stupid mistakes in the past and have had some wonderful people help me out of the hole, despite all the wrong I did to them. If you're saying you had 13 great years of marriage and this is the first bump in the road, then you're ahead of 99% of everyone on this planet. The happiest of couples still go through rough points in their marriage. But they learn from their mistakes, and don't give up on each other. Work your shit out with your wife, and get yourselves back on track, because sooner or later the fun will wear thin, and it'll be too late to patch things up.
A lot of people on this forum will say "fuck her... find someone better," as if somewhere in the world there's this flawless, inhuman lady that's completely incapable of disappointing you or ever making a mistake. Get over yourselves.
I've made some stupid mistakes in the past and have had some wonderful people help me out of the hole, despite all the wrong I did to them. If you're saying you had 13 great years of marriage and this is the first bump in the road, then you're ahead of 99% of everyone on this planet. The happiest of couples still go through rough points in their marriage. But they learn from their mistakes, and don't give up on each other. Work your shit out with your wife, and get yourselves back on track, because sooner or later the fun will wear thin, and it'll be too late to patch things up.
servo1234567
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You've really lost control of your life. Get it back. Iron out the issues with your wife as time goes on. You can't possibly get that right until you get financially and mentally where you need to be.
I agree wit dbot
You can leave her if you really feel like it can't work, but if you want to get back with her, don't let people talk you out of it.
Women are human like you are. we all make mistakes, we all can hurt those who love us. And it's those who love us that hurt us the most sometimes. but if you love your wife, then forgive her. Good relationships and friendship survive on forgiveness.
there is no woman out there that will never disappoint you, hurt you or disrespect you, but this woman loves you and is willing to try it again, so from that make your choice
You can leave her if you really feel like it can't work, but if you want to get back with her, don't let people talk you out of it.
Women are human like you are. we all make mistakes, we all can hurt those who love us. And it's those who love us that hurt us the most sometimes. but if you love your wife, then forgive her. Good relationships and friendship survive on forgiveness.
there is no woman out there that will never disappoint you, hurt you or disrespect you, but this woman loves you and is willing to try it again, so from that make your choice
what the hell are those guys talking about going back to her...? DONT LISTEN TO THEM.
1. this woman disrespected the santity of your home and marriage bed by fuscking the other guy in your house.
2. you lost your home and car because of her.
3. she blamed everthing on you and now she is felling 'BUYERS REMORse" AND FOR THAT ONLY REASON SHE WANTS YOU TO GO BACK TO HER.
4. IF YOU GO BACK TO HER AFTER ALL OF THIS THEN YOULL DESERVE WHATEVER YOULL GET IN THE FUTURE.
5. this woman did you a favor because now you know how diceipful women
can be, learn from this experience and start to have fun and spin plates.
6. will you be able to trust her again? I dont think so. for that reason the "fixing the relationship crap" wont work in this situation.
7. go to the adult forum and seek more advise.
1. this woman disrespected the santity of your home and marriage bed by fuscking the other guy in your house.
2. you lost your home and car because of her.
3. she blamed everthing on you and now she is felling 'BUYERS REMORse" AND FOR THAT ONLY REASON SHE WANTS YOU TO GO BACK TO HER.
4. IF YOU GO BACK TO HER AFTER ALL OF THIS THEN YOULL DESERVE WHATEVER YOULL GET IN THE FUTURE.
5. this woman did you a favor because now you know how diceipful women
can be, learn from this experience and start to have fun and spin plates.
6. will you be able to trust her again? I dont think so. for that reason the "fixing the relationship crap" wont work in this situation.
7. go to the adult forum and seek more advise.
bornyesterday
Don Juan
Are you really thinking of coming back to her??
Can't imagine that based on your story. But I heard stranger things.
If you do want to take her back, don't do it now. Wait. She wants you to come back now. Don't. Do it on your own terms and in your own time, not hers. That will be a test for you and her.
The new girlfriend sounds like a new start. Why give that up for your ex? I would never go back to her and accept the same situation. Have a sexual relationship or friendship or whatever. Take your time. Create a realtionship you like, don't give in to her wishes.
Prediction: the minute you take her back she doesnt want you anymore.
If you dont want her back: Enjoy your freedom. And be strong, because that experience is some tough sh1t to swallow.
Can't imagine that based on your story. But I heard stranger things.
If you do want to take her back, don't do it now. Wait. She wants you to come back now. Don't. Do it on your own terms and in your own time, not hers. That will be a test for you and her.
The new girlfriend sounds like a new start. Why give that up for your ex? I would never go back to her and accept the same situation. Have a sexual relationship or friendship or whatever. Take your time. Create a realtionship you like, don't give in to her wishes.
Prediction: the minute you take her back she doesnt want you anymore.
If you dont want her back: Enjoy your freedom. And be strong, because that experience is some tough sh1t to swallow.
it was hard to deal with, i cant deny that. i have been with her longer than anyone in my life, i say that because i am 30 moved out when i was 15 (kicked out). so she has been there longer than family. i will do what i need to do. again thanks for the feedback, i am taking it all under consideration...
Take some time, to be YOU for a while. Figure some things out. You've basically never been single in your whole life, so enjoy it for a while. 15 years is a strong bond. If you havent been together for so long I would say dont ever take her back, but in your situation, i think it is possible to MAYBE work things out. Take a year or so, to just do your own thing, while seeing how she acts without you in the picture as well. See if she improves herself, or goes downhill. If you ever decide to try to work it out, you need some serious marriage counseling. Also, post your age in your profile. That's why this was taken out of the mature forum.