I understand that you're bummed out, but since boyfriends rarely factor into whether a girl will sleep with you, she just throws out the IHAB because she knows that will stop you from pursuing her.
I was with a young woman that came over to my home to buy a vintage typewriter. I wasn't flirting with her, but showing her a few typewriters within her budget, when she told me IHAB.
I stopped and looked her over, then said, "Why are you having those thoughts about me?"
"What thoughts?"
I shrugged. "The type of thoughts that urge you to tell yourself you're unavailable."
"I think I was telling it to you, not myself."
"I didn't ask," I said. "I never ask. You were telling that to yourself, but you don't believe it, so you voiced it out loud."
She blinked at that. "I don't believe what? I
have a boyfriend."
"Of course you do. But that's not the reason why you voiced that out loud. Your thoughts took you in a direction that urged you to state your relationship status."
"What thoughts?"
I smiled at her. "The naughty ones. You're a little afraid of them and since you feel I could make them a reality you blurt out your relationship status. To shield your feelings from revealing your desires."
She didn't know how to respond to that.
"It's fine." I turned back to the typewriter I was showing her. "You successfully thwarted my imaginary advances."
"I did?"
"Yes. There is no way in hell that I'm going to hit on you now."
She giggled at that. "Maybe I want you to hit on me."
"No," I said. "You know that men like me aren't boyfriend material, so the boyfriend line was defensive. Maybe you think it would be exciting to explore your dark desires, but you're not ready yet."
"So, should I call you when I am?"
"You have my number," I replied. "Shall we continue with the typewriters now?"
She's one of my kittens now. I still don't know if she has a boyfriend or not. Not my problem.