Just got played

[RangerMIke]

Well you learned something, so be grateful for that.

A woman has to know that sex is a condition for you to hang around. The first time she pulled the 'naked but no sex' thing, should have been the last time you saw her. You don't have to be a @ss about it, just put on your clothes and say you have a busy day in the morning and leave. Then it's up to her to chase you.

A lot of men just won't do this... they hang around HOPING things work out because they sub-consciously know that if they walk away that's it, she's not going to chase. You have to be okay with this, if you are not getting what you want you have to leave... regardless of the consequences.

As long as you keep hanging around while you get pushed back, she can justify her actions by saying "Well... he stayed around while I was giving him blue balls... so he must have been okay with it." And you know what, she would be right. Tolerating behavior you don't like, means it doesn't bother you.

 

[Zontyy]

Pretty much everyone has said it already. You need to walk away you shouldn't be giving your time and emotions to her if she isn't going to make you happy and give you sex and other things don't degrade yourself by staying around. Slowly your manhood will be chipped away just realize a bad deal and walk away, you would spend months and months talking to a used car dealer for a lower price would you?

Never feel bad for speaking up about what you want. Sure she might think your an ******* but who cares if your not getting what you want, she will either come around or live her sad miserable life. Either way you need to focus on yourself whether that is new women or self improvement.

 

[Bolond]

Thanks guys for the advice!
I blocked her on social media and for now on we swap the kid at preschool,no more dinners,coffe,sleeping togheter,no eating out and so on. I hoped for a reaction from her but she is quiet.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

A man cant lead/be the leader if he has less power than the woman.

If the man isnt leading, the relationship wont last very long unless he is a cuck.

110% agree. All those little games are to see if you'll "fall for it".

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It’s important to understand a woman’s biological driving force. It is relentless and seemingly cruel.

Her drive is to have one man to care for emotional needs and support, protection, safety etc. AND a man(men) to have sex with. This is called her dualistic sexual strategy. You can’t reason with this. You can’t bargain with it.

The mere act of committing to a woman relegates you to the cuckold position. The lovers always have the upper hand. You are her safe zone to go to after she’s been thoroughly railed and put away wet.

I’m having a bit of trouble driving this home. Everything, all her actions, lies, manipulations and seemingly cruel behaviors stem from this and only this. She, for the most part, is oblivious to this. All she has is her justifications and reasons running through her head to explain all these behaviors away.

Like a few have said...if she’s not there for her sexual needs, get rid of her. This is the true definition of being used. That’s what most men are for. It won’t matter how good the sex is with you. It means nothing. She is following the strategy.

All the things they do these days are not biological. Much is due to the "new programming". Back many eons ago, a womans "feelings" would make her cook and take care of the man whose fvcking her, providing shelter food and resources. She didn't need to be trained to "feel" this.

It's the same as the man back those eons ago didn't need to be trained to "kill" or "maim" a man attempting to fvck his woman. It's a feeling, no programming was required.

 

[Dash Riprock]

OP, you have to man up.

Quit playing boyfriend (without the sex) with her. Be strong and amicable as you have a kid and she can make your life a nightmare. BUT, grow a pair and YOU need to decide to move on regardless of what she says.

"Surprising" her was a horrible idea. WTF?

Damn, I've seen this 1000x times on this site over the years and it never ends well until the guy grows a pair.

 

[Serenity]

I hoped for a reaction from her but she is quiet.

She probably expected this to happen sooner or later and she stopped having feelings for you a long time ago. It's probably for the best she stays quiet.

 

[Romanemp22]

From now on as you ended things for good , try to be the best dad as possible to your child. Your kid is not in the fault for you two not working out and i see to many times one parent start taking revenge on the other one through their kid, dont do that.

 

[dude99]

She left me 16 months ago.

That should have been the end of it right there. No chase. No phone. No text. No social media. No email. No.second chances. 100% next.


You can't get played when you move on.

 

[dude99]

I recently had a lady was fvcking try to do this right after she changed our FWB situation to sexless. I didn't obligue and slept on the couch instead.

I had an ex try this. She was desperate for a place to crash and yep wanted to sleep naked in the bed but told me ahead of going to bed that nothing was going to happen. Even before my DJ days and not knowing any better my reply was this " oh we aren't sharing my bed sweetheart. That ship has sailed. You get the couch tonight or find another pad to crash at.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I had an ex try this. She was desperate for a place to crash and yep wanted to sleep naked in the bed but told me ahead of going to bed that nothing was going to happen. Even before my DJ days and not knowing any better my reply was this " oh we aren't sharing my bed sweetheart. That ship has sailed. You get the couch tonight or find another pad to crash at.

Each time we handle situations properly our masculinity and self respect grows stronger and tighter. In the end it appears we are "entitled" to great sex and treatment, and this type of mindset causes the magic to happen. And if the female is not willing to do that "dance" with us, we are more than happy enough to find a willing "dance" partner.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

All the things they do these days are not biological. Much is due to the "new programming". Back many eons ago, a womans "feelings" would make her cook and take care of the man whose fvcking her, providing shelter food and resources. She didn't need to be trained to "feel" this.

It's the same as the man back those eons ago didn't need to be trained to "kill" or "maim" a man attempting to fvck his woman. It's a feeling, no programming was required.

very good, you understand.

I see nothing wrong with a man bluntly asking a woman if she conforms to this cooking, serving, caring for him, meeting sexual needs and likewise she isn't 'gearing up' to use him by bluntly asking if he understands his defender/'killer' role to keep her safe and healthy.

 

[Glassguy]

Thanks guys for the advice!
I blocked her on social media and for now on we swap the kid at preschool,no more dinners,coffe,sleeping togheter,no eating out and so on. I hoped for a reaction from her but she is quiet.

Now be ready for her to act like you're an @sshole. That's what these types of women do when you start withholding what they wanted for free....which is dinner, attention, etc.

Just remember that she can get mad, but its your choice how you react to it. The best reaction is ALWAYS no reaction. Dont give her ANY more attention. Totally ignore her.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

very good, you understand.

I see nothing wrong with a man bluntly asking a woman if she conforms to this cooking, serving, caring for him, meeting sexual needs and likewise she isn't 'gearing up' to use him by bluntly asking if he understands his defender/'killer' role to keep her safe and healthy.

Back 20+ yrs ago, naturally she did it as if it was part of her inherent makeup. She was happy and empowered to add to her family or her man in that manner.

 

[Bolond]

Now be ready for her to act like you're an @sshole. That's what these types of women do when you start withholding what they wanted for free....which is dinner, attention, etc.

Just remember that she can get mad, but its your choice how you react to it. The best reaction is ALWAYS no reaction. Dont give her ANY more attention. Totally ignore her.

I dnt understand why SHE is Mad...

 

[Spaz]

When you like someone, especially a woman, you tend to exaggerate them in ur mind.

It's the same when you hate someone.

What it means is that when u r in that state, u r unable to see things as they are.

If u r unable to see things as they are, you can never handle life.

Life then is a distortion.

And this is exactly what's happening to you.

 

[Serenity]

I dnt understand why SHE is Mad...

He stated she could get mad. You are correct though, it wouldn't make sense if she did get mad that you're putting your foot down. But if she does get mad it would be because she's not getting whatever she got out of playing you.

Be grateful this isn't happening, but if it does happen you should just ignore the fvck out of her.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

When you like someone, especially a woman, you tend to exaggerate them in ur mind.

It's the same when you hate someone.

What it means is that when u r in that state, u r unable to see things as they are.

If u r unable to see things as they are, you can never handle life.

Life then is a distortion.

And this is exactly what's happening to you.

Takes up a lot of our focus and attention? Huh... if we could somehow stop exaggeration of them in some of the situations the polarity may have been alot better. Enough that attraction can happen.

 

[RangerMIke]

I dnt understand why SHE is Mad...

It's simple. All women have an agenda. You really won't know what it is until you start dating her. Some will date you for money, some because they don't want to be bored and you are a place holder, others because they want to take advantage of your social circle, business contacts, could be she's a single mom looking for a daddy for her kid(s). Her agenda could also be she really likes you and wants you bad (which is good). But you won't figure it out until you date her.

Your agenda could be that you are looking for a relationship... nothing wrong with that, but it's pretty risky and hard to maintain, but if that is what you want then you should look for women with the same agenda. I know SOOOO many guys like this, and then end up with a chick that has a different agenda, and that always leads to heartache and pain. If a man is pining for a chick and her agenda is to keep banging male strippers... well that's not going to end well.

Me... well my agenda is only causal dating, never anything serious... so what I do is look for are women that have the SAME agenda... then we are in sync... and these last a whole lot longer, until for some reason HER agenda changes and then it's over.

Your chick had an agenda, you didn't go along with it, so now she's mad. This happens to me ALL THE TIME. I make it very clear from the start what I want. But as soon as the woman I'm seeing wants to get serious and exclusive, well guess what happens... she gets mad. You can not control this, you can not and should not try to control women... it doesn't work. You have to be okay that she is going to be upset with you when she isn't getting her way, she will call you names, talk about you behind your back, and just be nasty.

You can not let this get to you, be firm and clear what you want and stick to your guns. As long as you were true to yourself and never led her on, she has no right to be angry and you are not at fault. But if you are some dude pretending to be something you are not or what you want just to bang her... sorry... you should feel bad about that, and you should expect a backlash.

 

[Bolond]

Tomorow we got a schedule for our kid at "childcare center". IF She turnes up,how should i treat her? Dnt want her to be there but its her kid to...