Just got over one-itis, now I have redirected my focus, I still need advice.....

[Yoko Kurama]

I just recently got over my one-itis a week ago. Since than I have realized my faults and know what I want, however I am not sure how to get some of these wants.

My one-itis temporarily screwed up my life, I missed out on an 80,000 dollar scholarship because of her as a distraction. Since I graduated this year, I have reshuffling my priorities, I have enlisted in the NG, I am going to be a combat paramedic, and will be going to college at Mizzou. Things in my life, career wise have changed for the better, I have been working out more, I am stronger faster and mentally better, I like it. I have MY future planned, I have realized I don't need a girl to be happy, however that doesn't mean I can't be happier with one.

Just recently I have met a girl, she is a sister of my best friend, her name is Melissa. She is almost the polar opposite of the girl I was with before, I like her a lot, she is very close to God, and has a very strong sense of morals. I like that, also of course she is very attractive, smart, and brilliant with musical instruments. However there is a downside to this, she is fifteen and I am eighteen, and every time I am in her presence I am in awe of how much of an amazing person she is, I already thought to myself that for now I am to old for her, perhaps down the road, but what I didn't expect, is for me to experience negative thoughts again, just like before the one-itis. I learned a lesson, but I can't motivate myself to have the confidence with this girl, she just seems so down to Earth, however a young and crazy fifteen year old girl, she is very decent to be blunt. I don't know how/whn I should proceed, and it would be greatly appreciated if someone here could give me some advice or assistance in this situation, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,
Kurama

 

[Interceptor]

Hey Kuramasan,
you're overthinking this. And the reason is that your recent spell with the Oneitis has depleted some of your confidence and self assuredness.
So since you want to make sure youve got all your bases covered and all the ducks lined up in a row, etc..you're trying to formulate some sort of logical, over analyzed 'PLAN' on just HOW exactly, and WHAT exactly, and WHEN exactly, and at what MOMENT etc etc...
And all that is pretty much bull sh*t.

Honestly.

You know why?

Because youre trying to crystallize decsions on things that HAVENT EVEN HAPPENED YET.
AND...to boot, you're trying to apply logical, left brain over analyzing to a fluid, emotion based circumstance.

Now youre only 18. So you should be cut some slack.

But whats the lesson here??

To listen and reconnect to your Masculine instincts.

When you are in tune and aligned with yourself....and most importantly you ACCEPT yourself, and let go of shame and self embarassment...
You feel naturally, organically confident.

Your masculine instincts are there for you to make decisions in real time.


Low self esteem and low self confidence, and lack of self assuredness means not trusting oneself, self doubt, fear and anxiety, not able to handle pressure, not being able to handle things and make decsions in real time and
low levels of masculinity overall.


You see why all this planning and analyzing is pure junk?

It all leads you back to what you should have been doing in the first place.
And that is be a man and lead.

"Hey, sexy nyanko, I want to go to the beach on Sunday, and I want you to come with me. You free? Lets go have fun at the beach , you and me!"

I mean, how much more simpler can you get?

So its not WHAT you say, but WHO is the Man SAYING it.

Think about this, and then see if you really want to have a 'plan' or just go up to her and hang around her and show her youre attracted to her.

I think youll see that its not about having a well thought out plan.
But its knowing who you are, what you want, and you just really like this girl and want to be with her.
Thats it really.
Its not that complicated.
Your coming back from that emotional whirlpool and dementia has you second guessing youself and not wanting to mess up or worse, be SEEN making mistakes and looking 'vulnerable'.
A confident man who genuinely likes this girl is going to come up to her and just be the cool guy and sweep her off her feet, while youre coming up with a plan on how to do this and how to do that, etc ,etc....


Just my two...
I hope this helps.

Good luck.

 

[Yoko Kurama]

Thank fo that highly detailed response to my problem. To make this clear, let me be sure this is what you are trying to say. If I know myself, if I know who I am, what I am, and aligned myself with my instincts, than the answers will be right in front of me?

 

[Yoko Kurama]

You said the lesson to be learned is to reconnect to my Masculine instincts. how do i know if my instincts are speaking to me.

Honestly mybest guess is to do what I am afraid of, or what FIRST comes to my mind. True?