Just got dumped by "the one." Need help.

[LostAndConfused]

This will sound extremely confusing. I asked my friends and family for help first and their only advice was extremely AFC and resulted in me making a terrible mistake.

I dont know where to start but with my girlfriend. I havent been on SS lately because I've been experiencing alot of dating. I dated many different girls and I finally found this one girl who was just so great I cant even describe it with words (cliche so far). I'm not really going to bother to describe her - im sure you've heard it thousands of times.

Anyways we had a great relationship for a while, and by great I mean better than I could imagine ... we're high school seniors keep that in mind.

Anyways after we had a school break on a day off we went out on a date. It seemed the same but she tells me that she's not sure whether we should break up or not. Being the man in the situation I knew that it was over between us, and I said we should end it, even though not a week earlier we were on a great dinner and movie date.

Her excuse? She's moving away at the end of next month, May, (which I figured we'd break up then) but she shocks me with a random breakup in the middle of April. Of course her program in college is extremely intense and she has to work very hard all summer even, but it really seemed to me like it was an excuse and there was a reason behind it. I figured we would just break up at the start of the college freshman year. We had already talked about me visiting her for a week during the summer.

I figured that she can't have just lost interest with the snap of her fingers, so what happened? And how can I get over this situation? I already hooked up with a new girl but it only made me feel worse, honestly.

I also made the absolutely AFC move yesterday of texting her how I felt about us not talking. After we broke up, we completely lost contact, and although we would hold friendly conversation it wasn't the same. And when I addressed it she said she couldn't explain at the time and that she has alot on her plate. More excuses.

I know this thread may not make the most sense feel free to ask whatever and I'll clarify it.

 

[slaog]

Sounds like she lost interest. Best thing to do now is to forget about her and spin some plates.

 

[LostAndConfused]

Well I mean at one point she called me up to tell me something pointless but she was obviously crying so she had to end the conversation.

I Know Occams Razor applies (simplest solution is best) but I think its something else, even if I could be blinded by getting dumped

Spinning plates is pretty hard when it only reminds me of her when im talking or hooking up with a new girl

 

[Captain]

I dated many different girls and I finally found this one girl who was just so great I cant even describe it with words (cliche so far). I'm not really going to bother to describe her - im sure you've heard it thousands of times.

One-itis. She isn't that great.

Anyways after we had a school break on a day off we went out on a date. It seemed the same but she tells me that she's not sure whether we should break up or not. Being the man in the situation I knew that it was over between us, and I said we should end it, even though not a week earlier we were on a great dinner and movie date.

Good, but you needed to follow through and actually end it - completely, no wussy texts to her.

I also made the absolutely AFC move yesterday of texting her how I felt about us not talking.

That wasn't what made her lose interest, that just threw away any chance of getting back with her.

Based on what you've said above, I think you had turned into an AFC during the course of the relationship, which was what made her lose interest. You said she was "the one". This is the mentality that turns men into chumps.

 

[LostAndConfused]

One-itis. She isn't that great.

I agree. I've hooked up with hotter girls but something about her sparked an instant connection with her that I can't even try to explain.

Good, but you needed to follow through and actually end it - completely, no wussy texts to her.

No I just texted to her recently a week after we broke up just because I know we cant get back with her, shes going out of town in a month, but I still want to be on great terms with her, you know?

Based on what you've said above, I think you had turned into an AFC during the course of the relationship, which was what made her lose interest. You said she was "the one". This is the mentality that turns men into chumps.

No I completely agree but I kept her chasing the entire time. And sometimes she'd get upset over it when she realized that she would have to initiate the calls all of the time. She was a little upset also that I was hanging out with my friends on the weekends too even though I would go out with her once a weekend. I guess a failed attempt at being possessive :rock:

 

[MisterMcGee]

That thing you "cant explain" is oneitis. You don't have oneitis for other girls, which makes you for some reason fell things "dont feel right" with them. When you have oneitis, then everything seems amazing and the girl is from heaven... which you should know by now is bs.

 

[3countriesPlan]

You are 19 man.. trust me by the time you are 20 you won't even barely give a crap about that girl. You aren't at the age to be dating seriously anyways there are too many things that can happen to break two people apart besides the fact that girls your age are braindead. The best way to get over this is to move on, meet other girls or focus more on hobbies.

 

[Atom Smasher]

OP, change your on-screen name. I've told you this before.

You will NEVER become self-actualized if you label yourself this way.

 

[LostAndConfused]

OP, change your on-screen name. I've told you this before.

You will NEVER become self-actualized if you label yourself this way.

I know dude, I actually quit SoSuave for a while as you could tell from the date of the posts before this one, but when this girl who loved me so much got rid of me I had to come back and try to figure out what was up.

 

[wjh]

It doesn't matter because she was going off to college. What difference does one month make? Forget her, now.

And why do you want to waste your precious summer time and $ on a girl from your past when you could be meeting, partying, and sexing young fresh college girls anyway?

You do have oneitis, and you're not mature enough to handle monogamy. And quite frankly you shouldn't even be thinking about relationships and the like. Having fun, going to school and doing well, and partying should pretty much be your only priorities.