Just going for it...

[white cloud 8]

Hi,

I've been reading the DJB and it has given me sooo many helpful tips and pointers . Anyway, my question relates to asking a girl out (sorry if this sounds redundant), should I just stop wondering about it and just do it? I have nothing to lose, right? (except my pride and feeling a little down for awhile) I just need some assurance and opinions. I shouldn't beat around the bush, just make my intentions clear. S***......I find it so hard to do, and, I don't f***ing know why. Is this fear stopping me from my objective?


~thanx

 

[squirrels]

It's hard to go up to a random girl and ask her, "Hey, what's up? You wanna go out with me xxxxday night?" Most of the time you'll get a polite shut-down if you don't have some kind of attraction/rapport built ahead of time. But maybe it's what you need to do to get used to asking girls out.

For the "ask a girl out at school" kind of thing...just learn to talk to women. Get up the confidence to strike up a conversation about whatever's on your mind with a girl when you find her attractive. Rely on your nonverbal cues like eye contact, body language, intonation, kino to get the sexuality across. Then when it feels like a natural point to suggest a continuance of the convo, ask her out somewhere.

Numbers, dates, kisses, sex...this should all flow naturally from interacting with women from a male frame.

If that makes any sense. I'm babbling just a little.

 

[white cloud 8]

well....I know a girl in my classes that has shown interest in me for a while now (we talk and I apply kino sometimes but, not all the time), I should just grab my ballz and ask her out? I think to myself though, if she says 'no' then I will have to see her almost everyday (classes = sort of awkwardness), or will it make me look confident because I at least asked her out (in her eyes)?

 

[squirrels]

"Awkward" is in your head. Just be like, "Hey, I was gonna xxxxxxx this Friday...what're you up to? Wanna come?"

If you don't feel awkward it'll be cool. And you shouldn't...you're just inviting a girl you're interested in out for some quality time. Happens all the time. Even if she says "no", if you're cool with it, then she'll be cool with it.

 

[white cloud 8]

I was thinking of saying something like "hey [her name], do you have any plans on Friday night? [she replies] I was wondering if you would like to go out for something to eat?" I would just ask it in a casual manner (like its no big deal).

 

[IM0001]

hmm.

On this it sounds good since you can ask again in a similar manner. And if she turns you down again then you can take a hint without having it be as serious or awkward.

 

[white cloud 8]

Yeah I mean sheesh, its just a simple question.

 

[ketostix]

Usually when you ask a girl out even if she declines she'll be flattered and you'll look confident for having the balls to ask. If she declines, just pretend it never happened, don't pursue her more and just stay chill, then she might change her mind and start pursuing you.

 

[white cloud 8]

Originally posted by ketostix
Usually when you ask a girl out even if she declines she'll be flattered and you'll look confident for having the balls to ask. If she declines, just pretend it never happened, don't pursue her more and just stay chill, then she might change her mind and start pursuing you.

Thanx for the boost . I'm going to ask her tomorrow .

 

[Swing Dancer]

It's less effective if you ask a girl out, instead tell her to go out with you. Do not phrase it as a question. It's a simple trick, but it helps.

EX.
"Do you want to go out Friday?" = "Let's go out Friday."

 

[IM0001]

hah

The way that question = order thing is written all over the forum but it still sounds kinda funny to me. (gota start using it a bit though). It sounds like she will either comply or pull out the mace.

 

[white cloud 8]

so be more straight forward with the question? I should still see if she is free on Friday night (ask her if she is free that particular night)?

 

[white cloud 8]

BTW: this girl is 23 yrs. old, I'm 19 . Should I let this phase me? I find it a little bit intimidating.

 

[white cloud 8]

Some assistance please? So, if I do ask her and she does say 'no' it will look like I at least had the balls to ask her, right? In her mind, is she commending me for that or that s**t shouldn't even matter?

 

[^_^]

Just ask her out.

I've dealt with chicks where I've asked them out and it was rejected, then had to see them on a regular basis. If it is at all ackward, it shouldnt last for more than a day when you strike up a conversation and just pretend it never happened.

It's better to know than wonder what if...