Just found out my oneitis is a slvt....that feel

[teddy]

Turned out she was afraid she got pregnant from her boyfriend who I swear she was in love with...ended up being a false alarm. There was a whole fight and fallout that followed.

She briefly broke up with the guy, started to date a coworker. Apparently this new guy showed up at her apartment one night to find her standing naked in front of him, wanting him to take her. This only a few weeks after the fallout.

And when I interacted with her, she acted like a very traditional girl (she's of my ethnicity) and wanted to hang out all the time and have "conversations" about art, music, etc.

Yeah it depedestalizes her....but it makes me feel like **** in other ways. hard to describe. Feels like I dodged a bullet but in a weird way I almost feel jealous she didn't consider me "worthy" of a **** or anything.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

After you realize how big of a tampon you are ... we forbid you to ever see her again. Chump.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Looks can be deceptive. People's past always has a way of coming to the surface.

Gratz on dodging a bullet my friend

 

[teddy]

After you realize how big of a tampon you are ... we forbid you to ever see her again. Chump.

No, I realized I was a huge tampon, which is why I cut things off with her. Made her pissed at me, but oh well.

 

[SteR]

Yup, been there myself and it hurts like hell. I suppose it is because of the rejection and knowing she'd give it up to others so freely.

Cut her loose, my man...

 

[teddy]

Yup, been there myself and it hurts like hell. I suppose it is because of the rejection and knowing she'd give it up to others so freely.

Cut her loose, my man...

This is afc, but I admit I felt such a great connection with her.

Yes, she does lose attractiveness from this, but it's the fact she'd appear in the doorway stark naked with some random dude while for me, I apparently wasn't good enough for it, that hurts.

 

[DonJuanit0]

I still don't see the part where the girl is a slut!

Apart from you feeling frustrated because you weren't able to get her, she seems like a normal woman! Many women nowdays afraid they might get pregnant! It's in the sex game and nothing to be ashamed of!

Also she found someone else after she broke up! WOW! Do women really go for other men after they break up? Damn...

Seriously, don't confuse one's sex likes (like standing naked in front of him) with sluttiness!

I'd suggest to quit whinning and go find your own "sluts", as you want to refer to them.

 

[teddy]

I still don't see the part where the girl is a slut!

Apart from you feeling frustrated because you weren't able to get her, she seems like a normal woman! Many women nowdays afraid they might get pregnant! It's in the sex game and nothing to be ashamed of!

Also she found someone else after she broke up! WOW! Do women really go for other men after they break up? Damn...

Seriously, don't confuse one's sex likes (like standing naked in front of him) with sluttiness!

I'd suggest to quit whinning and go find your own "sluts", as you want to refer to them.

She was living with this guy for a few years, was in love with him, forced him to move out from the fights they were having and then a week later stands naked in front of a random dude.

 

[DonJuanit0]

She was living with this guy for a few years, was in love with him, forced him to move out from the fights they were having and then a week later stands naked in front of a random dude.

You can't know if she loved him! Obviously she didn't so stop saying that! Makes no sense!

I broke up 4 days ago from 1 year LTR and tonight I am going out with a girl I know several years but I'm going to make my move! 4 days later! Am I a male slut?!?

No! I just move on! Like everyone should after a relationship is over!

 

[teddy]

You can't know if she loved him! Obviously she didn't so stop saying that! Makes no sense!

I broke up 4 days ago from 1 year LTR and tonight I am going out with a girl I know several years but I'm going to make my move! 4 days later! Am I a male slut?!?

No! I just move on! Like everyone should after a relationship is over!

Nah, you're right. It's the oneitis so it just hurts and brings those awful feelings back.

 

[SteR]

This is afc, but I admit I felt such a great connection with her.

Yes, she does lose attractiveness from this, but it's the fact she'd appear in the doorway stark naked with some random dude while for me, I apparently wasn't good enough for it, that hurts.

Funnily enough it was this exact situation that brought me to the site ~10 years ago. The worst parts were a) I lived with her and b) after she dumped me (we were only 'together' a week, she proceeded to invite a train of men over to bang her. I was in the room directly next to hers so could hear everything... I'll never forget how much that experience hurt, ha.

 

[teddy]

Funnily enough it was this exact situation that brought me to the site ~10 years ago. The worst parts were a) I lived with her and b) after she dumped me (we were only 'together' a week, she proceeded to invite a train of men over to bang her. I was in the room directly next to hers so could hear everything... I'll never forget how much that experience hurt, ha.

Holy ****, must worse than me. What happened after that? How did you transform?

 

[pdx1138]

she proceeded to invite a train of men over to bang her. I was in the room directly next to hers so could hear everything... I'll never forget how much that experience hurt, ha.

damn dude...I know what that's like.

a girl I had a oneitis for long long ago, it was just one other dude not a train of them, but it just so happened her new boyfriend lived in the apartment above mine and his bedroom...was above mine.

When I heard the noise it made me sick!

like others said though, you dodged a bullet.

 

[VladPatton]

Like OP mentioned, the part that really sucks a fat one is that you're not even considered for a fück. Those women are toxic, cancerous poison for your life. Remove them ASAP. Nothing good is there for you once you realize the level of disdain you're dealing with. Sad, sad, shıt I tell ya.

 

[SteR]

Holy ****, must worse than me. What happened after that? How did you transform?

Well fortunately this all happened towards the end of the time we were living together (shared house, not just us two). I just tried to avoid her until my time was over but that period really did suck. I'd hear tales from my housemates of how they'd been out and she'd been sucking guys off in nightclub toilets etc. It's hard to describe the amount of anguish hearing all that put me through. I remember when it originally ended and she was banging the first guy (like a couple of days later), I didn't sleep a wink for ~48 hours.

Anyway in terms of how I changed since then, well, it'd be easy to rattle of a list of achievements since then but I think the fundamental thing is it changed how I viewed/treated women, forever. You don't go through an experience that painful and simply forget it. Funnily enough it also made me incredibly conscious of how I treat girls who've become fond of me. I try not to hurt their feelings where possible.

I only really had myself to blame for getting into that situation but when you're a naive kid who knows nothing what can ya do etc..

Truth be told, I am grateful for that experience - it taught me a lot. It forced me to come here and radically alter my behaviour for the best. If you were to compare the kid I was then with what I am now, well the difference is night and day. If I could give you any advice based on everything I've learnt it'd be to keep working on yourself as hard as you possibly can. Once you start achieving things and rising above it all, you realise how worthless and how undeserving of your attention some of these girls are...

Oh, I forgot to mention, she did try and get in contact with me a few years later but I ignored all her messages. I don't know what she's doing now.

 

[teddy]

hen but I think the fundamental thing is it changed how I viewed/treated women, forever.

In what way?

 

[SteR]

In what way?

In the sense that they really aren't anything special, they're just as fallable as guys. You really have to filter out the crappy ones. They don't deserve any special treatment just because they've got a vagina..

 

[Warrior74]

Like OP mentioned, the part that really sucks a fat one is that you're not even considered for a fück. Those women are toxic, cancerous poison for your life. Remove them ASAP. Nothing good is there for you once you realize the level of disdain you're dealing with. Sad, sad, shıt I tell ya.

I agree. Remove them from your life. But it's not the women that are toxic, its the AFC mindset. The one that makes stories up instead of facing reality. When those stories and reality meet it because very toxic because of cognitive dissonance. Once you reconcile your AFC programming with what the world really is, it's so much easier to deal with women.

 

[donking]

don't invest much in women unless you've ****ed them. never give it 100% either. the only person to trust 100% is yourself.

 

[Mike32ct]

I get how you feel. I met a girl one night at a hotel bar/club on vacation, and we talked and drank and danced all night. We seemed to totally hit it off. Suddenly, without warning, right before closing time, she walks up to this ridiculously tall guy and takes his hand. Her only words were, "Let's go." They headed for the elevator (presumably up to his room to F). I went up to my room alone nearly in tears.

It was a bitter pill to swallow. But I learned that women aren't angels. They will F who they want to F when they want to F him. You might or might not be that guy to her. It is what it is. It's not personal.