Just finished The Rational Male.

compleks

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 1, 2014
Messages
106
Reaction score
6
Very, very interesting read. Thankyou Rollo!

This thread is basically just a debrief/rant for my own sake. I have a lot of questions, but I'm still digesting/processing the information.
(few questions at the bottom if you care to skip straight to it)

Feel free to read my thoughts below if you have nothing better to do ;)

I have been 'game aware' for years. Only in the sense that I knew it existed and knew there was an entire sub-culture devoted to its development. But my exposure was limited to the occasional YouTube video and regurgitated information from friends who had read a book or two.
I guess part of me always thought I was above playing the 'game'.
(meanwhile not knowing that the game would play out with or without my involvement)

If The Rational Male was recommended to me as a book about game, I probably wouldn't have read it. But my friend who put me onto it basically described it as a life altering piece of doctrine that would forever change the way I viewed the world of inter-gender relations.
Big sell!

So I read it.
Being very freshly unplugged I'm still just awakening from that groggy comatose/confused state. However I feel as though I have a slight head start on at least some of the material. Just by sheer chance, rather than any real research into the subject.
I've only ever been in one LTR (2years), and it was with the girl I first hooked up with (she let me sleep with her, better hang onto this one!).
Anyway, I ended that (5-6years ago) and have been single ever since, with no desire of entering another relationship.
I started 'spinning plates' about a year ago, just through a natural realization that any moral/ethical objection was actually completely unfounded. Not just my own (programmed) objections, but objections from the feminine perspective, which I guess are one in the same.
I thought I must have been 'wired' differently because I had no desire of settling back into a LTR. I actually argued my case on multiple occasions to avoid it happening.


Anyway, I digress.
This book was eye opening and definitely shed some light on issues I never would have even thought to question.


If you care to keep reading I'm just going to spew some thoughts/questions having just finished the book. Keep in mind this is from a very rudimentary understanding of the text.

QUESTIONS​
1) Does ONEitis best Hypergamy .?
We all know a girl (either personally or anecdotally) who is in a committed relationship with some deadbeat. Everyone knows she can do better, but you can't possibly convince her to leave him. What factors are at play here?
Does SHE suffer from ONEitis to the point that her hypergamous tendencies have been shut off?
Or could it be a case of low self esteem and lack of self worth, so much so that she believes he is the best she can do? Or could he actually just be an Alpha male (albeit a **** example of one)?
I'm sure there's a grey area or middle ground here with many factors potentially at play depending on the specific scenarios. But it's a pretty common scenario and I'd like to hear what you guys think.

2) Genuine Inter-Gender friendships?
Okay, so i don't have the book with me. But I remember reading a sub-section on inter-gender relationships. It didn't sit well with me when I read it, but it's probably something I will have to re-read.
I have a lot of female friends. Friendships that go back 15 years. Some of these are very close friends in a completely non-sexual way. I'm closer with some of these girls than I am with many of my male friends.
Initially these friendships may have blossomed based on the fact that I was a shy kid and didn't have any 'intimate' relationships with women till I was 19. But they are now concreted as some of my most valued friendships.
What is your take on Rollos opinion of inter-gender friendships (as outlined in the rational male)?

3) Religion Vs Evolution Vs Habit?
This is a bit abstract. But in terms of a decayed loveless marriage, what would you say are the factors holding these marriages together? Neither party is happy, but they are also unwilling to do anything about it.
One clings to a religious frame as reason to not leave/divorce, as the children are all old enough now that "staying together for the childrens' sake" no longer applies.
The other seems completely indifferent and stuck in the routine.
Both are mid 50's and have been married for 30 years and probably just scarred ****tless of being alone.
But what would you make of this from an 'unplugged' point of view.
(might be a stretch from the realm of this book, but just curious)


If you read all of that I apologize haha.

Look forward to further enlightening myself.
Thankyou one and all.
 

Rollo Tomassi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2004
Messages
5,309
Reaction score
340
Age
56
Location
Nevada
Glad you benefitted from it. I'll hash out some answers for you on the blog.
 

slikkmeister

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 3, 2013
Messages
59
Reaction score
3
Love your site Rollo...

I've read the entire blog and many post twice, or more.

I'd love to see you stress the alpha stuff more though. Maybe a 12 step program to becoming more alpha or something like that for newbies... God knows it would only help the new generation of posters around here!
 

slikkmeister

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 3, 2013
Messages
59
Reaction score
3
Number 3....IMO: If the man is being indifferent he's always got the upper hand because she's the religious one.

When you say "loveless", does that mean sexless too?
 

compleks

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 1, 2014
Messages
106
Reaction score
6
Thanks Rollo, I will keep an eye out.

Yes, completely sexless as far as I know.
 

3agle 3yes

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 22, 2012
Messages
548
Reaction score
266
Age
37
I've never read the book "Rationale Male", but I've seen the blog...

compleks said:
1) Does ONEitis best Hypergamy .?
Some girls maybe able to get a "hot guy" or "aloha male" but very few can settle in a LTR with one, ESPECIALLY as they get older. So, they settle with "provider type" men who they know won't cheat on them even if they start putting on weight, get older etc, etc.

compleks said:
2) Genuine Inter-Gender friendships?
Personally I find this to be BS. What I would say though, is that you can't be a lover and a friend to a woman...well, technically you can but the relationship won't last long. But, of course you can be friends with women...and not want to **** them.

compleks said:
3) Religion Vs Evolution Vs Habit?
I find the topic of modern marriage hilarious. I don't know how it happened but somewhere along the line one generation forgot what the purpose of marriage was. Seriously, who came up with the idea that you married the person you 'loved'...most humans don't even know how to love anyway...

Throughout history people got married to join families together...to climb up the social ladder, to structure a healthy family framework around a child (IMO most healthy people come from stable families).

I actually think marriage has NOTHING to do with love (besides there are many forms of love), marriage is more of an arrangement.
 

Sofomore

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 20, 2009
Messages
640
Reaction score
30
I am about halfway through it myself. Great read Rollo.

On the topic of male-female friendships I do agree with Rollo that they can never be as deep as a male-male or female-female friendship. Once a significant other comes into the equation the dynamic of the relationship changes. I have ~10 female friends and it's hard to really BE friends with them once either of us enters a relationship. It's just a fact of life that the attention will turn to the significant other.

I wouldn't over think it. Some girls/guys are able to maintain these friendships despite being with a SO. For the majority, they can't. I know that I lose touch with my female friends once I'm in a relationship. As soon as I'm single again these female friends are back in my life. IMO this isn't a real friendship. Friendship takes work and both sides have to equally put in the same amount of effort. Very hard to do, especially once marriage comes in to play.
 
Top