Five months ago I got my first girlfriend. My friends introduced me to her, she was 18, kinda cute, and she liked me (I'm 21). We went out for several dates, and I followed what I had learned from this site: ****y and funny, not being a wussy, leading the way etc. I was actually very nervous during the dates, but I think I covered it up well. She was even more nervous than me because she's a very shy person, so I don't think she noticed. I finally kissed her when I took her home at the end of a date, and she became my girlfriend.
In the beginning she was totally into me. I acted like an ass, didn't seek her validation, tried to be the catch, and this all seemed to work well. After some months our relationship became more stable and I toned down a my jerky attitude. We had very good times together and she always wanted to see me. Still, we never had sex: she was a virgin and she didn't seem to be confortable with sex and her body. She was constantly labeling other girls as sluts because they didn't wait long before having sex with their boyfriends. She wasn't against premarital sex, but she kept telling me that she wasn't ready, she was afraid that it would hurt, she wanted to wait to be really sure that I loved her, etc etc.
In the last month we had several arguments for various (very trivial) reasons. I started to think that she liked those arguments, that she used them to get attention and to bring some thrill in her otherwise dull life.
Some time ago we had a really big argument because she wanted me to block an IM contact of a girl that I knew at a rock show an year ago. This girl lives in a very far city, she is just a friend and we talk like once a month. I told my girlfriend that she had no right to ask me this. I held my position firmly, asserting that she has to trust me and she cannot control this aspect of my life (my friends and the persons that I talk to). In the end she seemed to give up and we got along as before. After some days we argued again for a stupid reason: she called me three times and I didn't hear the phone. When I answered she was angry and she started to say that I never call her, that I don't care about her etc. (I have a busy life and I cannot phone her or see her all the times that she wants). When I saw her in person, she started to say that since our last argument she didn't trust me anymore. I got angry because I thought we got over it. I took her home and told her that it was her problem if she didn't trust me, she had to change and stop arguing about everything.
Yesterday she asked me if we could see each other. Then she basically told me that she was dumping me. I said her that I was sorry if I did or said bad things to her. She said that I had better prove this, words prove nothing, and for her it was all over.
So that's it. I got dumped after five months from my first girlfriend. It looks like that the DJ stuff like being strong and not doing anything she asks, didn't help in keeping my relationship. If I gave up and did what she wanted, maybe we'd still be together.
This girl has some emotional issues. Sometimes she's a very mature person for her age, but other times she reminds me of a little baby keeps throwing her pacifier on the ground and then cries just to get attention. Also, she's always afraid that others, and even I, will hurt them, so she closes up, trying to protect herself (applies to sex too). Anyway I'd like to get her back, but I don't know how, and I don't want to seem like I'm begging her. She wants me to "prove" her that I'm sorry and that I love her, but what the hell does she mean? I don't really have anything to excuse anyway, I'm still trying to understand why she broke up with me..
Any suggestions? Did you have similar experiences?
In the beginning she was totally into me. I acted like an ass, didn't seek her validation, tried to be the catch, and this all seemed to work well. After some months our relationship became more stable and I toned down a my jerky attitude. We had very good times together and she always wanted to see me. Still, we never had sex: she was a virgin and she didn't seem to be confortable with sex and her body. She was constantly labeling other girls as sluts because they didn't wait long before having sex with their boyfriends. She wasn't against premarital sex, but she kept telling me that she wasn't ready, she was afraid that it would hurt, she wanted to wait to be really sure that I loved her, etc etc.
In the last month we had several arguments for various (very trivial) reasons. I started to think that she liked those arguments, that she used them to get attention and to bring some thrill in her otherwise dull life.
Some time ago we had a really big argument because she wanted me to block an IM contact of a girl that I knew at a rock show an year ago. This girl lives in a very far city, she is just a friend and we talk like once a month. I told my girlfriend that she had no right to ask me this. I held my position firmly, asserting that she has to trust me and she cannot control this aspect of my life (my friends and the persons that I talk to). In the end she seemed to give up and we got along as before. After some days we argued again for a stupid reason: she called me three times and I didn't hear the phone. When I answered she was angry and she started to say that I never call her, that I don't care about her etc. (I have a busy life and I cannot phone her or see her all the times that she wants). When I saw her in person, she started to say that since our last argument she didn't trust me anymore. I got angry because I thought we got over it. I took her home and told her that it was her problem if she didn't trust me, she had to change and stop arguing about everything.
Yesterday she asked me if we could see each other. Then she basically told me that she was dumping me. I said her that I was sorry if I did or said bad things to her. She said that I had better prove this, words prove nothing, and for her it was all over.
So that's it. I got dumped after five months from my first girlfriend. It looks like that the DJ stuff like being strong and not doing anything she asks, didn't help in keeping my relationship. If I gave up and did what she wanted, maybe we'd still be together.
This girl has some emotional issues. Sometimes she's a very mature person for her age, but other times she reminds me of a little baby keeps throwing her pacifier on the ground and then cries just to get attention. Also, she's always afraid that others, and even I, will hurt them, so she closes up, trying to protect herself (applies to sex too). Anyway I'd like to get her back, but I don't know how, and I don't want to seem like I'm begging her. She wants me to "prove" her that I'm sorry and that I love her, but what the hell does she mean? I don't really have anything to excuse anyway, I'm still trying to understand why she broke up with me..
Any suggestions? Did you have similar experiences?