Just broke up with my first girlfriend

[Arky]

Five months ago I got my first girlfriend. My friends introduced me to her, she was 18, kinda cute, and she liked me (I'm 21). We went out for several dates, and I followed what I had learned from this site: ****y and funny, not being a wussy, leading the way etc. I was actually very nervous during the dates, but I think I covered it up well. She was even more nervous than me because she's a very shy person, so I don't think she noticed. I finally kissed her when I took her home at the end of a date, and she became my girlfriend.

In the beginning she was totally into me. I acted like an ass, didn't seek her validation, tried to be the catch, and this all seemed to work well. After some months our relationship became more stable and I toned down a my jerky attitude. We had very good times together and she always wanted to see me. Still, we never had sex: she was a virgin and she didn't seem to be confortable with sex and her body. She was constantly labeling other girls as sluts because they didn't wait long before having sex with their boyfriends. She wasn't against premarital sex, but she kept telling me that she wasn't ready, she was afraid that it would hurt, she wanted to wait to be really sure that I loved her, etc etc.

In the last month we had several arguments for various (very trivial) reasons. I started to think that she liked those arguments, that she used them to get attention and to bring some thrill in her otherwise dull life.

Some time ago we had a really big argument because she wanted me to block an IM contact of a girl that I knew at a rock show an year ago. This girl lives in a very far city, she is just a friend and we talk like once a month. I told my girlfriend that she had no right to ask me this. I held my position firmly, asserting that she has to trust me and she cannot control this aspect of my life (my friends and the persons that I talk to). In the end she seemed to give up and we got along as before. After some days we argued again for a stupid reason: she called me three times and I didn't hear the phone. When I answered she was angry and she started to say that I never call her, that I don't care about her etc. (I have a busy life and I cannot phone her or see her all the times that she wants). When I saw her in person, she started to say that since our last argument she didn't trust me anymore. I got angry because I thought we got over it. I took her home and told her that it was her problem if she didn't trust me, she had to change and stop arguing about everything.

Yesterday she asked me if we could see each other. Then she basically told me that she was dumping me. I said her that I was sorry if I did or said bad things to her. She said that I had better prove this, words prove nothing, and for her it was all over.

So that's it. I got dumped after five months from my first girlfriend. It looks like that the DJ stuff like being strong and not doing anything she asks, didn't help in keeping my relationship. If I gave up and did what she wanted, maybe we'd still be together.
This girl has some emotional issues. Sometimes she's a very mature person for her age, but other times she reminds me of a little baby keeps throwing her pacifier on the ground and then cries just to get attention. Also, she's always afraid that others, and even I, will hurt them, so she closes up, trying to protect herself (applies to sex too). Anyway I'd like to get her back, but I don't know how, and I don't want to seem like I'm begging her. She wants me to "prove" her that I'm sorry and that I love her, but what the hell does she mean? I don't really have anything to excuse anyway, I'm still trying to understand why she broke up with me..

Any suggestions? Did you have similar experiences?

 

[Master Bates]

I just skimmed your post, but she's 18?

That says enough. 18 year old girls are the most fickle people in the world and a five month relationship with one is long enough.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Once you are in a Long Term Relationship you can start giving more attention to her. In the beginning you did it all right to keep her interest level high. But, after being with her for so long you need to show some more attention that you do appreciate her. This will all be a learning experience for you. You have to know a balance between being ****y, a jerk, when to give attention, and so on.

Now, you want her back. She is a 18 year old virgin. That is a plus. But, the down fall is that she is still young. She has no idea what she wants in her life. If you really want to get her back apologize to her and say you will show her more love. But, let her know that you are busy and can't always drop everything to be with her.

Honestly though.. This was only your first girlfriend. I would forget about it and go on to meet alot more women. Have sex with different girls, get more experience, have fun and then you will know what you want down the road.

 

[EFFORT]

I hope you didn't go the full 5months without having sex with her. In terms of the "DJ" stuff not working, you were more than likely miss using stuff. All the DJ technique stuff is just behaviors that a man with his life(health,wealth,relationships etc) together would naturally display. Not being needy, not being controlled by her, ****y and funny are all behaviors that naturally come from a man that has abundance with women, goals in life, purpose etc. Don't focus on getting her back, its over. Instead go out and meet new women.

 

[iqqi]

Sounds to me like you did everything right. She will be back.

Do NOT change up NOW. She is a whiny little brat, and you could do better.

Go Gangi on her.

 

[KontrollerX]

Before I begin I just want to say I think you mostly did well with her.

And you've got to remember even if you do everything right relationships can still have a shelf life and end.

You can't blame the DJ way for that, its something that life in general holds the blame for ie nothing is forever.

"So that's it. I got dumped after five months from my first girlfriend."

Where you made a mistake is going along with her when she said that she was dumping you.

You should of been like "whatever we were done weeks ago already".

Never let a chick have the power of thinking she was the one to break up with you.

It gives her validation and an ego boost.

Chicks love this sh!t but we guys don't have much use for it but still it is better to keep your power than to allow some foolish ex to gloat thinking she won.

"It looks like that the DJ stuff like being strong and not doing anything she asks, didn't help in keeping my relationship. If I gave up and did what she wanted, maybe we'd still be together."

No, you'd be turned into her little lap dog AFC b!tch and you'd lose her to a real man ie a DJ eventually anyway. You played your hand well soldier. You didn't lose anything except a silly girl who thought she could control you and change you into someone else. This is where chicks have got it wrong. If you don't like someone to begin with don't get involved with them and then try and change them later.

"This girl has some emotional issues. Sometimes she's a very mature person for her age, but other times she reminds me of a little baby keeps throwing her pacifier on the ground and then cries just to get attention. Also, she's always afraid that others, and even I, will hurt them, so she closes up, trying to protect herself (applies to sex too). Anyway I'd like to get her back, but I don't know how, and I don't want to seem like I'm begging her. She wants me to "prove" her that I'm sorry and that I love her, but what the hell does she mean? I don't really have anything to excuse anyway, I'm still trying to understand why she broke up with me.."

She's 18 and she broke up with you as a power play.

She wants you to disrespect yourself and grovel at her feet so she can have the kind of relationship she wants with you as her little b!tch under her heel.

If she still interacts with you at all despite the breakup and begins talking to you about your relationship and how you should apologize avoid doing that garbage but instead say look if you want we can start over again clean slate but its fine if you don't I am all about moving on to greener pastures.

You and I can have something great together but you've got to let all thats happened between us go for us to move forward.

If she accepts this then start again with your relationship with her.

If she rejects don't whine at her, don't cry to her just move on silently with another chick.

If she hears of it and gets jealous thats great its her loss.

If she doesn't also great because you will be with a new chick and not have to put up with the bullsh!t power playing of the old one.

 

[The Motivator]

always date multiple girls, make sure they dont know about each other

dont be a symp, you need to have player status and u wont worry about petty "LTR" bullshyt like you are here