Donny Brasco
Don Juan
Yes, I stand corrected and have edited my post, I missed 2.7 billion girls. Thats exactly how many I have not dated yet.
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Just broke up with a beautiful woman
- Thread starter RKTek
- Start date
trajhenkhet
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2003
- Messages
- 337
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Even if her mind isn't made up, yours is. Choose wisely.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
i am god.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
and you are going to hell.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
Mr. Owen, i think that it is interesting that in my other responses in other posts you were more interested and articulate when you were not aware that i was a woman.
if you do not not like my advice to another's prob, just ignore it.
the previous responses to your other "questions" were a display of humor. are we still working on c&f? please do not be so offended and nasty.
or i'll have to spank you.
if you do not not like my advice to another's prob, just ignore it.
the previous responses to your other "questions" were a display of humor. are we still working on c&f? please do not be so offended and nasty.
or i'll have to spank you.
REDblueOI
Senior Don Juan
---i'll have to spank you.---
Oh dear
...
Hey babe, if I were you I'd tell her to get her **** together, give her a lil chance before you kick her ass first outa your life. Understand... sometimes we just attach onto people for rational reason. To this day I dream about this one Italian 8 I considered dating a while back, and I'm a man very much in control of my life/feelings. Seeing as she is going through something all humans do at one time or another, let her know how you feel, and give her an ultimatum. Whats the worst that could happen?
Oh dear
...Hey babe, if I were you I'd tell her to get her **** together, give her a lil chance before you kick her ass first outa your life. Understand... sometimes we just attach onto people for rational reason. To this day I dream about this one Italian 8 I considered dating a while back, and I'm a man very much in control of my life/feelings. Seeing as she is going through something all humans do at one time or another, let her know how you feel, and give her an ultimatum. Whats the worst that could happen?
hitop
Senior Don Juan
This isn't about petty little issues that can be worked out like, say, quirks. Everyone has quirks of course. I think that if you are in the proper mindset, you will recognize when you are being lied to or intentionally misled. Simply put, this is about integrity in it's most basic fundamental meaning.
RKTek,
You know the deal. If you're uncomfortable with the situation, you're uncomfortable with the situation. And, you are right to bail.
I do wonder, though, whether you're doing it prematurely. I'm willing to take a guess that she's not so much "longing" for this guy as she's had her ego bruised, just like the DJ technique of breaking it off first, resulting in her wanting him. We want that which we cannot have, yada. But, that is only because she has that particular perspective which, I believe, can be changed if you're able to subtly have her identify that dynamic.
This has even happened for me and I'm sure it's happened for you, too: I'm not interested in a particular woman, she's annoying, doesn't have this or that quality and I'm ready to break it off with her. She breaks it off first and voila! I'm interested in her! For no other reason! But, when I realize what the reason is, I'm likely to come out of my pseudo-pining quickly.
Now, without knowing more facts, one "big fat lie" may be enough to exclude her. But, I'm finding that there are always the big fat lies.
But, why wouldn't you keep her around anyway? My own personal opinion is that there ain't perfection out there and I don't want to settle for anything that is not perfect for me. And, I don't mean little things, I mean that there is plenty of psychosis, or lying, or cheating, or baggage, or just plain incompatibility. Given the state of things, I'm happy to have women around as shear entertainment and honestly don't expect to find that perfect LTR; it probably does not exist.
Your girl is at least showing *some* positive signs of being LTR material. It seems like once she's in a serious relationship, she finds it hard to let go. That can be a positive attribute. Otherwise, she's doing many of the right things.
I also wonder how much of these are "real" issues or your insecurities that are causing them to be magnified. Sometimes, the deeper one gets involved with a woman, the more insecure one becomes (of course) and the GREATER amount of "issues" seen. Direct corrolation.
Having said all that, you always have to do what's comfortable for you.
You know the deal. If you're uncomfortable with the situation, you're uncomfortable with the situation. And, you are right to bail.
I do wonder, though, whether you're doing it prematurely. I'm willing to take a guess that she's not so much "longing" for this guy as she's had her ego bruised, just like the DJ technique of breaking it off first, resulting in her wanting him. We want that which we cannot have, yada. But, that is only because she has that particular perspective which, I believe, can be changed if you're able to subtly have her identify that dynamic.
This has even happened for me and I'm sure it's happened for you, too: I'm not interested in a particular woman, she's annoying, doesn't have this or that quality and I'm ready to break it off with her. She breaks it off first and voila! I'm interested in her! For no other reason! But, when I realize what the reason is, I'm likely to come out of my pseudo-pining quickly.
Now, without knowing more facts, one "big fat lie" may be enough to exclude her. But, I'm finding that there are always the big fat lies.
But, why wouldn't you keep her around anyway? My own personal opinion is that there ain't perfection out there and I don't want to settle for anything that is not perfect for me. And, I don't mean little things, I mean that there is plenty of psychosis, or lying, or cheating, or baggage, or just plain incompatibility. Given the state of things, I'm happy to have women around as shear entertainment and honestly don't expect to find that perfect LTR; it probably does not exist.
Your girl is at least showing *some* positive signs of being LTR material. It seems like once she's in a serious relationship, she finds it hard to let go. That can be a positive attribute. Otherwise, she's doing many of the right things.
I also wonder how much of these are "real" issues or your insecurities that are causing them to be magnified. Sometimes, the deeper one gets involved with a woman, the more insecure one becomes (of course) and the GREATER amount of "issues" seen. Direct corrolation.
Having said all that, you always have to do what's comfortable for you.
This is a reply to "Just Can't Succeed" post regarding Doc Love's System
I hate to hijack JCS's original post, so replied here.
Like unexpected rocks underwater that will damage or sink a boat, so are insecurities in a relationship the more intimate you get. So many of the replies spotted 'insecurity' as a potential problem and I think that's it. She's got a raft of issues as well, but she's got enough good qualities that I may be too ready to bail with a good one.
We're going to meet this Friday night for a simple date, but until then, I've asked that we take a step back for a breather.
The old boyfriend is still an issue, though and I'll see how she handles it. He dumped her and even though they weren't the best couple, she really admired him. After talking to him and listening to her accounts, it this guy could be described as the an "enthusiast": He's into life, thrill-seeking and adventure. He can be great fun to be around, but shallow and gets bored very quickly. He kept her around for 18 months showing her the time of her life: Harley-Davidson rides through the Blue-Ridge mountains, surfing, skydiving, you name it. Then he dumped her, decided he didn't like skydiving, and bought a Nissan 350Z selling the Harley. She was devastated because to her he was an exciting, passionate "chick magnet".
Now he's gone and she still thinks of him. I suppose it's like the fisherman that may have a whole boat full of fish he's caught, but will always talk about "the one that got away".
And this is a new girl, not the previous one I wrote about. I dumped her.
The previous girl was starting to give it up, but had such trouble with intimacy. She was gorgeous too, but it just didn't work out.
I was fortunate enough to meet this new girl only a week or so after the last one was finally gone but dated her only 'as friends', and as luck would have it, met another girl about six weeks later that I also dated awhile. I finally decided to be exclusive with the first one and it's been pretty good. I've been fortunate enough to find two attractive women in a row, although both seem to have better bodies than the face.
I stopped posting awhile because in the last days of that relationship things weren't going so good and I was feeling like ca-ca. Now I seem to be faced with almost the same dilemna, a gorgeous girl who's got ancillary problems. This time it's the ex. There really is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but this time I may be the one cr*pping in my own hat.