In reading and listening to all sorts of relationship and seduction advice over the past year and a half, no phrase has stirred up more controversy than the famous "just be yourself" line. Some people hate it. Others love it. Regardless of where you stand, I'd like to take some time to analyze what this phrase means and why it is an indispensable piece of advice for any DJ seeking self improvement.
Before understanding "JBY", we first must understand its inverse: "Don't be someone else." This statement is powerful in that it loads a complex message into a handful of simple words. As men, we often interpret "DBSE" as free reign to do whatever makes us feel comfortable. After all, the avoidance of being someone else means we are justified in holding onto our current sense of self, which supposedly comes from those actions, behaviors and beliefs we regularly display. As comfort-seeking individuals, we end our thoughts there - feeling the gratification of having reached a somewhat straight-forward, logical interpretation of the message. What happens next? We follow that advice, end up bitter and frustrated and wonder why "JBY" was even proposed as a solution in the first place.
The problem here is with this is the definition of self. What does it mean to be yourself? There are two true interpretations to this message.
1) To be oneself is to be a human being. Human beings are the most precious of all creatures due to their intellect and unlimited potential for good. To be "yourself" as a human simply means to fulfill your unlimited potential by becoming the best human being you can. Hidden within each one of us lies the 'perfect' or 'maximized' version of ourselves which can be attained through conceptualization and sheer force of will.
As intelligent human beings, we can (1) conceptualize a maximized version of self, (2) visualize the necessary steps to take in order to secure the resources and finally (3) implement the solution. This is incredible! Thanks to the Internet and resources like SS, there is an attainable solution to every problem. I say to everyone reading this post: "Just be your (maximized) self!" Take a few minutes to think about the person you would like to be. Contrast that person against your current self. Figure out the differences between the two and take steps necessary to make those changes. Be your maximized self.
2) A different, more Pookian interpretation of self is to be what you are...a man. Think about man in his simplest form: a caveman. When simple caveman is is tired, he will sleep. Put a coconut in front of simpleman, and he will find a way to break it in order to consume its contents. Simpleman lives his life in harmony with the world. He is both active and reactive. His interpretation of the world and subsequent sense of self is guided by the idea of servicing his own needs as a man. Everything else is secondary.
Our needs have evolved, but our interpretation of the world and sense of self has not. True men move through the world with purpose. Why should man make an apology for being a man? Simpleman would not apologize for eating, hunting or procreating. These tasks are merely parts of of his life...
...and he is just being himself.
The next time you hear someone tell you to just be yourself, think about the message behind the message. 'Being yourself' means exploring your full potential as a human being. It means getting out there and becoming a man who unequivocally services his own needs without apology. It means one can comfortably relate to the world and take from it that which is necessary for one's survival.
Not such bad advice anymore, is it?
Before understanding "JBY", we first must understand its inverse: "Don't be someone else." This statement is powerful in that it loads a complex message into a handful of simple words. As men, we often interpret "DBSE" as free reign to do whatever makes us feel comfortable. After all, the avoidance of being someone else means we are justified in holding onto our current sense of self, which supposedly comes from those actions, behaviors and beliefs we regularly display. As comfort-seeking individuals, we end our thoughts there - feeling the gratification of having reached a somewhat straight-forward, logical interpretation of the message. What happens next? We follow that advice, end up bitter and frustrated and wonder why "JBY" was even proposed as a solution in the first place.
The problem here is with this is the definition of self. What does it mean to be yourself? There are two true interpretations to this message.
1) To be oneself is to be a human being. Human beings are the most precious of all creatures due to their intellect and unlimited potential for good. To be "yourself" as a human simply means to fulfill your unlimited potential by becoming the best human being you can. Hidden within each one of us lies the 'perfect' or 'maximized' version of ourselves which can be attained through conceptualization and sheer force of will.
As intelligent human beings, we can (1) conceptualize a maximized version of self, (2) visualize the necessary steps to take in order to secure the resources and finally (3) implement the solution. This is incredible! Thanks to the Internet and resources like SS, there is an attainable solution to every problem. I say to everyone reading this post: "Just be your (maximized) self!" Take a few minutes to think about the person you would like to be. Contrast that person against your current self. Figure out the differences between the two and take steps necessary to make those changes. Be your maximized self.
2) A different, more Pookian interpretation of self is to be what you are...a man. Think about man in his simplest form: a caveman. When simple caveman is is tired, he will sleep. Put a coconut in front of simpleman, and he will find a way to break it in order to consume its contents. Simpleman lives his life in harmony with the world. He is both active and reactive. His interpretation of the world and subsequent sense of self is guided by the idea of servicing his own needs as a man. Everything else is secondary.
Our needs have evolved, but our interpretation of the world and sense of self has not. True men move through the world with purpose. Why should man make an apology for being a man? Simpleman would not apologize for eating, hunting or procreating. These tasks are merely parts of of his life...
...and he is just being himself.
The next time you hear someone tell you to just be yourself, think about the message behind the message. 'Being yourself' means exploring your full potential as a human being. It means getting out there and becoming a man who unequivocally services his own needs without apology. It means one can comfortably relate to the world and take from it that which is necessary for one's survival.
Not such bad advice anymore, is it?
