"Just Be Yourself" she says...

[Johnny Soporno]

women tell you than when they can smell your lack of self confidence...lol.. They are tuned off.

Absolutely correct!

Women tell guys who are going overboard trying to 'get' the girl by presenting themselves as something other than they truly are - and women can generally recognize when someone is not genuine nearly instantly.

Please go back to the OP and read it - I'm sure you'll see how critical this message is!

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

You can't be yourself if yourself SUCKS!

 

[nismo-4]

Absolutely correct!

Women tell guys who are going overboard trying to 'get' the girl by presenting themselves as something other than they truly are - and women can generally recognize when someone is not genuine nearly instantly.

Please go back to the OP and read it - I'm sure you'll see how critical this message is!

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

You and Dongorgon finally summarized that sh*t to a brief-and-to-the-point statement. I understand this now! Thanks guys.

 

[Johnny Soporno]

You can't be yourself if yourself SUCKS!

More importantly, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO, in that case?

If YOURSELF sucks, MODIFY YOURSELF!

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[buzzit]

You can't be yourself if yourself SUCKS!

well its simple then
just upgrade yourself to a better yourself

 

[GetOveIT]

Better yourself never fake anything, be a man.

 

[Johnny Soporno]

Once more, with feeling!

Bump!

 

[Cry For Love]

"JUST BE YOURSELF!"​

When any normal woman is asked what men should do to be able to hook up with her, she'll answer
"Just be yourself!"

More inner game rubbish. Im sick of all these Buddhist medidator inner game mental wankers. You want real game, real tangible success? U gotta use the outer game, the mystery method foundation of the attraction phases. U gotta go from A phase through C to S phase, the M3 model. The model works great, its polished and tested thoroughly, dont reject what works.

Its hilarious when all these inner game guys claim they got success and forgot about outer game. Well guess what, the "forget" just means they did it subconsciously. To do something subconsciously you gotta learn it consciously first. You cant unconsciously solve differential equations before consciously learning how to do it.

 

[bookman]

be yourself is a meaningless expression, I am always myself, I was being myself when I was not confident, and I am myself now that I became confident. There are just a list of dos and don'ts that one should follow, that's all, I don't think there is a so called myself and a "somebody else"

I used to brag to try and prove myself, now I don't, I used to lack confidence, now I don't, I used to care a lot about the outcome, now I don't. I used to kiss up, now I don't

does that mean I am no longer myself? of course not, I am still the same geek and I still like the same stuff and still have the same habits, I just modified my presentation of myself. Results are different.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Why to NOT just be yourself.

Allen summed this up very well ages ago.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think the best paradigm of "be yourself" is to take the time to discover and therefore know who you are, accept the positive things about yourself and improve there areas in which you are lacking.

By improving yourself within the framework of your true essense, you would have to emerge as a better you, one who is congruent.

Acting "Alpha" creates an artificial character who is just acting through life and manipulating his surroundings. Integrating alpha qualities into your already existing personality will yield self-respect and congruence. You will appear strong and authentic to others, and that is a by-product of appearing strong and congruent to yourself.

Don't be "alpha" just for the sake of being "alpha". Rather, identify who you really are (likes, dislikes, preferences, interests, boundaries, what it take for you to respect yourself), and then finesse yourself with some of those alpha traits (dominant frame, body language, etc.).

 

[zekko]

The main thrust of what the OP is saying is basically the exact same message of the DJ Forum: Improve yourself, invest in yourself, and you will be a more attractive guy.

be yourself is a meaningless expression, I am always myself, I was being myself when I was not confident, and I am myself now that I became confident.

Yeah, it's a little ludicrous. Be yourself, but don't be the self that you are now, because that self is repelling women. Change yourself into a better self, then be THAT self.

Acting "Alpha" creates an artificial character who is just acting through life and manipulating his surroundings. Integrating alpha qualities into your already existing personality will yield self-respect and congruence. You will appear strong and authentic to others, and that is a by-product of appearing strong and congruent to yourself.

Right, it's a subtle but improtant difference. Don't go around acting alpha, rather embrace the alpha qualities so that they become part of you.

 

[Johnny Soporno]

More inner game rubbish.

(Sigh) More self-sabotage, right there...

Instead of crying for love, perhaps you should read through the advice in the OP, and in the Inner Game post I've also put online here, and begin enjoying and celebrating love - and experiencing what it feels like to BE loved?

I'm sick of all these Buddhist medidator inner game mental wankers. You want real game, real tangible success? U gotta use the outer game, the mystery method foundation of the attraction phases. U gotta go from A phase through C to S phase, the M3 model. The model works great, its polished and tested thoroughly, dont reject what works.

Mystery's stuff works great on women with low self-esteem, it's true. If you want to have women choose to go out with you based upon their inaccurate and unjustified beliefs about the man you are, (because you've pretended to be someone and something different that you are) and then for them to ditch and despise you after the REAL YOU comes out, then by all means, ignore my advice and good luck!

It's hilarious when all these inner game guys claim they got success and forgot about outer game.

I never suggested anything of the sort, actually. [read what Neil "Style" Strauss published about me HERE]

I predate Mystery, and was pulling beautiful women out of the very same nightclubs where he was working in the late 80s and early nineties in Toronto long before he developed his system.
I never needed to learn HIS model, and have never needed to implement it - and I have consistently been alarmingly successful with women.

That said, my "outter game" is entirely based in self-acceptance and personal appreciation of my own value; there is no indirect aspect, I approach with sublime confidence, with absolutely no fear of rejection, because REJECTION IS IMPOSSIBLE when you aren't going over to women "hat in hand" (like a beggar) hoping they will like you.

I approach anyone I find attracting and intriguing TO LEARN WHETHER I COULD LIKE THEM, to learn if they are interesting, thoughtful, appreciative, polite, and insightful. If they AREN'T, then I ditch them, because what do I want with someone like that?

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[Johnny Soporno]

be yourself is a meaningless expression

Try reading the OP.

Johnny Soporno
Here to Help

 

[Galactus]

I was around a lot of people on my last birthday, but I didn't get a lot of birthday wishes. This is because I didn't tell anyone it was my birthday.

I didn't tell anyone it was my birthday because I didn't want to be the guy who makes himself look pathetic by fishing for birthday wishes. You know the guy who says, "Hey people, today's my birthday!" so everyone can pat him on the back and say Happy Birthday. We all hate that guy. He just lost a little respect from everyone, and he would've been better off keeping his mouth shut.

To be yourself is not to care if anyone knows it's your birthday, even if you really do care, because not being yourself throws up a little red flag of pitiful neediness.

"Be yourself" is interpreted in different ways. I agree that, if "yourself" sucks, and doesn't get laid, why would you want to be that?

But for me, being "myself" was often being something I'm not. I was trying to act in a way that wasn't natural to me because I thought that was what would attract women. But ironically, it's what has kept them away.

I've realized that I have attracted women at times when I didn't think sex with her was an option. For example, I knew this woman who was married and had a little boy. She was very attractive, but I figured she was happily married, and it never occurred to me that she might be interested. So every night after work, I'd go kick it with her for a half hour or so, with absolutely no intention of getting sex from her.

Then one night I'm sitting there talking to her and she interrupts me and tells me she's been dreaming of doing naughty things with me. It blew my mind. Didn't see that coming at all. We ended up having sex.

The point is not that I think you should show no interest, but that I think I was attractive to her because I was talking to her unhindered by notions of how I should act. I wasn't fake, like I have been with women I was trying to game.

I think you can game women, and let them see your attraction to them, but you just have to have no concern about if they like you or not. When you have that concern, you start thinking you have to do certain things, and it comes across as not being yourself.

 

[Maxtro]

Arg, I wish being myself worked, but I keep getting rejected. What's really annoying is that the reasons I'm being rejected keep changing. The fact that women aren't fully honest when giving a rejection doesn't make things any easier.

Right now I'm trying to figure out how to get somebody that's single, and "doesn't want to date anybody." Which probably just means, "I don't want to date you."

 

[Johnny Soporno]

Why to NOT just be yourself.

Allen summed this up very well ages ago.

I don't think so? I just went through Allen's article and, from what I can see, he's adopted a self-defeating frame.

Did you actually read what I had written, Rollo, or did you just see the headline and reflexively paste the above link by way of rebuttal? If you didn't actually read it through, please do so!

What Allen was writing about was based in a defeatist paradigm, one in which there exists some sort of "battle of the sexes", in which men and women are at odds with one-another, and are working across purposes?

I'm writing from a more modern, more accurate, and fundamentally self-fulfilling paradigm, in which both men and women want essentially the same thing - to enjoy their lives, to enjoy love, and to enjoy sex (ideally in some combination!) and in which there need never be any dishonesty nor misrepresentation whatsoever.

Johnny Soporno
Sexual Revolutionary

 

[Chosen1]

No pook summed this up years ago. Great post though many playa's today lack any integrity and the women they go after usually have low self worth.