Juggling some options, wondering what you guys think about this particular one

[BPH]

So, my family is all on a cruise for my mom's birthday, except me. I'm here taking care of the cat at the house for the next week, and I'm pretty keen on inviting some company.

I went out last night for a bit, had low expectations, but ended up meeting this hot older woman at the bar. We chatted for a bit, her friends liked me, she liked me, I got her number, and made out with her for a little bit after walking her to her car to drive her friend home. She couldn't invite me over last night because she claimed she was tired, isn't "like those younger girls who just hook up", and has some reservations about being older than me (she's 43).

She did, however, text back and forth with me until about 5AM, sending a couple pics - including her topless. But we ended up going to sleep, and I'm texting her now and she invited me out with her and her friends tonight.

HOWEVER...there is some backstory here, so I wanted to ask some of you more experienced guys whether this is worth my time.

She's 43, never married, no kids. She moved to DE 7 years ago for a man, but they didn't work out, and in the last 2 years she moved back to live with her parents. She has a poor view of men; she told me a story about a guy I know personally who kept asking her out and when she finally agreed he voiced concerns about whether "she still had eggs" because he's the same age as me - which turned her off to him immediately. She also seems to talk herself out of things; wondering why I'd be interested in an older woman, why I don't have a girlfriend despite being attractive, and the fact that in her invite she assumed I wouldn't want to hang out with them because they're "so much older", etc.

She's got a friend who likes younger guys who she seems to think is more attractive than her (I wouldn't know, I haven't met her) so I think it's in her head that I'd probably logically want the "bigger, better deal" in her friend.

There seem to be a lot of different ways this could go, but despite all the things she SAYS, the things she DOES have so far included making out with me and sending nudes...so I'm wondering if I should go out to this.

I have a couple other girls I'm seeing who were ALL not available last night, and ALL seem to be available tonight. Which is why I'm weighing out my options since I'm being pulled in so many different directions.

What do you guys think about all this?

 

[SW15]

You're 30 and you have some women closer to your own age available tonight. Choose one of the younger options who is available tonight when your parents are gone for the time being. That will help you in getting sex tonight.

If the 43 year old makes it super easy for you to get sex from her another time, you could bang if you wanted to. However, you are a man with a lot of prospects. You are the prize and you need to focus on having sex with the hottest and youngest women possible.

 

[BPH]

You're 30 and you have some women closer to your own age available tonight. Choose one of the younger options who is available tonight when your parents are gone for the time being. That will help you in getting sex tonight.

If the 43 year old makes it super easy for you to get sex from her another time, you could bang if you wanted to. However, you are a man with a lot of prospects. You are the prize and you need to focus on having sex with the hottest and youngest women possible.

It's mostly the allure of something (or in this case, someone) new.

 

[New_Journey]

You're 30 and you have some women closer to your own age available tonight. Choose one of the younger options who is available tonight when your parents are gone for the time being. That will help you in getting sex tonight.

If the 43 year old makes it super easy for you to get sex from her another time, you could bang if you wanted to. However, you are a man with a lot of prospects. You are the prize and you need to focus on having sex with the hottest and youngest women possible.

LOL bro he's had a lot of women, he doesn't need this kind of automated advice.

It's mostly the allure of something (or in this case, someone) new.

Have you had a 43 yo one before? If not, then try it and, see if there is a difference and post the field report haha

 

[Clockwerk50]

Send me her nudes and I’ll advise you if it is worth it lol

Joking aside, when was the last time you had sex? Do you need sex right now? Will the other girls give you sex right now? Do you need to romance the 43 year old or is she already soaking wet? If you do not see any of your other women today it affect your relationship with them?

That’s how I’d do my risk analysis.

 

[BPH]

Have you had a 43 yo one before? If not, then try it and, see if there is a difference and post the field report haha

She sounds very self-conscious about the age difference and the fact that she's had some bad recent experiences with men.

But you know, actions not words, and she's been receptive to the kiss and sent a little teasing my way last night. That said, there's a quote I think I read here something along the lines of "a woman will never flirt so hard as one with no intention of following through" - that's more pointed at the pics she sent rather than what she's saying.

Send me her nudes and I’ll advise you if it is worth it lol

Joking aside, when was the last time you had sex? Do you need sex right now? Will the other girls give you sex right now? Do you need to romance the 43 year old or is she already soaking wet? If you do not see any of your other women today it affect your relationship with them?

That’s how I’d do my risk analysis.

I'll do the analysis real quick:

The last time I had sex was last Sunday.

I don't need sex right now, but I would like it since it's super logistically easy right now.

Yes, I have 3 other options, I'm just trying to juggle them with this potential new option; one I haven't seen in maybe a month because she's very random about hitting me up, the other I saw 2 weeks ago and is waiting for me to invite her again, and the one I saw last Sunday is the most flexible so I can see her whenever.

I know the 43-year old is into me, but I probably would have to do some work. I think she's worried about being sexual too early, considering her recent experiences with men haven't been great. It's definitely "been a while" for her. So I could either be the reason she dips her toes again, or she could keep those walls up.

Probably not so much with the Sunday girl as with the other 2. I'm currently texting the one it's been a month with and she's available earlier I might even be able to see her tonight before I go do whatever I decide to do. The one from 2 weeks ago could probably come during the week since she has a weird work schedule, but I should see her soon or she'll probably think I've lost interest, she's the one from my post asking about Philly spots because she's a bit of a drive.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What do you guys think about all this?

If you have to ask for our opinion about this, you're clearly on the fence. In that case I would discourage you from starting a lukewarm flaccid relationship.

If you do like her more passionately, why ask for our opinion?

 

[BPH]

If you have to ask for our opinion about this, you're clearly on the fence. In that case I would discourage you from starting a lukewarm flaccid relationship.

If you do like her more passionately, why ask for our opinion?

Because I like variety, but don't know if it's worth going after a potential "cold lead" vs maintaining the ones I've got. The whole reason I sleep around as much as I do is because I like a variety of women.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

It seems like she's on the fence for whatever reason. Probably hasn't had much luck in the past with guys her age or older. she sees some of her fellow single older women friends getting with younger guys. Now she's tempted. Sounds like she's too on the fence though but I could be wrong. I've known older women to be quite hesitant and then ghost but I guess thats women in general...

 

[Clockwerk50]

She sounds very self-conscious about the age difference and the fact that she's had some bad recent experiences with men.

But you know, actions not words, and she's been receptive to the kiss and sent a little teasing my way last night. That said, there's a quote I think I read here something along the lines of "a woman will never flirt so hard as one with no intention of following through" - that's more pointed at the pics she sent rather than what she's saying.



I'll do the analysis real quick:

The last time I had sex was last Sunday.

I don't need sex right now, but I would like it since it's super logistically easy right now.

Yes, I have 3 other options, I'm just trying to juggle them with this potential new option; one I haven't seen in maybe a month because she's very random about hitting me up, the other I saw 2 weeks ago and is waiting for me to invite her again, and the one I saw last Sunday is the most flexible so I can see her whenever.

I know the 43-year old is into me, but I probably would have to do some work. I think she's worried about being sexual too early, considering her recent experiences with men haven't been great. It's definitely "been a while" for her. So I could either be the reason she dips her toes again, or she could keep those walls up.

Probably not so much with the Sunday girl as with the other 2. I'm currently texting the one it's been a month with and she's available earlier I might even be able to see her tonight before I go do whatever I decide to do. The one from 2 weeks ago could probably come during the week since she has a weird work schedule, but I should see her soon or she'll probably think I've lost interest, she's the one from my post asking about Philly spots because she's a bit of a drive.

To kill the novelty of sleeping with someone at your parents house while they are currently away, I would call the one that leaves far away or the one you last saw a month ago, in which I am assuming is the au pair. In case of emergency call the one you saw last weekend.

To kill the novelty of sleeping with the 43 year old, and even though she might be sexually frustrated, you might need to put some effort into it. That’s my guess since I didn’t get the nudes /s

 

[SW15]

It's mostly the allure of something (or in this case, someone) new.

I like variety, but don't know if it's worth going after a potential "cold lead" vs maintaining the ones I've got. The whole reason I sleep around as much as I do is because I like a variety of women.

There's a novelty to new pussie.

You have a strong rotation of younger pussie. Go with that!

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi BPH,
Your prospects with this Lady are fairly predictable,for me the most interesting aspect is that following your success with the Older Lass you have got lucky with several others,doesn't that say something to you?

 

[BPH]

Hi BPH,
Your prospects with this Lady are fairly predictable,for me the most interesting aspect is that following your success with the Older Lass you have got lucky with several others,doesn't that say something to you?

Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean here.

 

[Scaramouche]

Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean here.

Hi BPH,
You got lucky with the Older Lass....Nothing succeeds like success,depending on my mood I offer three rationalisations....Firstly,if your contact with the other Ladies was purely on the blower,then your new found confidence and manner of speech swayed their judgement....Secondly,if up tight and personal then your elevated expectations generated vibes enough to impress or perhaps even created attracting pheremones....Then again a third option,maybe Horace the Gypsies horoscope had been spot on,Mars was in conjunction with Venus and your Romantic possibilities were enormous,you are on a roll,strike while the iron is hot LOL.

 

[CornbreadFed]

LOL bro he's had a lot of women, he doesn't need this kind of automated advice.

Unless the older woman is someone famous, I am not choosing a much older woman over a younger woman period lol.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why do you care about the backstory so much?

This woman is for recreational use only, it's not like you are going to get in an LTR with her.

Don't concern yourself and fill your head with a bunch of details and things that are irrelevant based on what she qualifies for which is only for a few fun bangs or FWB.

If you go out with her tonight make something happen, stop being so passive.

The same way you were texting at 5am she could have been back at your place sucking your c0ck at 5am.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Hi BPH,
You got lucky with the Older Lass....Nothing succeeds like success,depending on my mood I offer three rationalisations....Firstly,if your contact with the other Ladies was purely on the blower,then your new found confidence and manner of speech swayed their judgement....Secondly,if up tight and personal then your elevated expectations generated vibes enough to impress or perhaps even created attracting pheremones....Then again a third option,maybe Horace the Gypsies horoscope had been spot on,Mars was in conjunction with Venus and your Romantic possibilities were enormous,you are on a roll,strike while the iron is hot LOL.

He is even more confused now.

 

[pipeman84]

why I don't have a girlfriend despite being attractive

What did you answer to that one?

 

[SW15]

She also seems to talk herself out of things; wondering why I'd be interested in an older woman,

Men who are interested in older women are interested in them solely for sex in the short term.

Many men interested in older women for sex are thirsty men lacking options.

You are not a thirsty man and you have options.

She also seems to talk herself out of things.... why I don't have a girlfriend despite being attractive,

You have options and are getting sex regularly. You don't need a girlfriend and having one girlfriend is not a priority for you.

Looks, money, status, and personality are important in retaining a woman and having an exclusive, committed girlfriend is more of a retention play. You are strong on looks and personality. Money and status is where you weaker. You have a lower paying job and lower net worth, causing you to live with your parents. Living with your parents at your current age is a negative to your status.

You have been living a version of the article below for many years.

Getting Laid While Unemployed And Living In Your Dad’s Basement

Getting laid with multiple women on a regular basis while living with your parents is an achievement.

 

[BPH]

Alright so...

2-weeks old girl is content with planning when she will come next since I can't go to her because I'm watching the cat.

Sunday girl I might see today, and if not I can see her whenever during the week.

Month-old girl said she would be free yesterday but didn't answer when it came time, so I went and hung out with the older woman.

We were at the bar for a long time, all the way until closing, with her friends from the night before plus the hot older friend that likes younger guys. Ended up inviting my woman over afterwards, we made out, f***ed, and she gave me a BJ before she left around 3 AM. Texted her goodnight and hoped she got home safe, and that was it.

She was very self-conscious the entire time; apparently she had been thinner before getting on birth control and recognizes that she needs to start going back to the gym - noting that she's surprised she's gotten soft since she says she barely eats. I didn't have any complaints. Not the hottest woman I've been with, but she has a little thickness in the right places and had pretty great boobs for her age. Still, it's always fun to be with someone new.

Why do you care about the backstory so much?

This woman is for recreational use only, it's not like you are going to get in an LTR with her.

Don't concern yourself and fill your head with a bunch of details and things that are irrelevant based on what she qualifies for which is only for a few fun bangs or FWB.

If you go out with her tonight make something happen, stop being so passive.

The same way you were texting at 5am she could have been back at your place sucking your c0ck at 5am.

The backstory was just to establish there might be some extra hoops to jump through that I wouldn't have to concern myself with when it comes to other women. Thankfully she was receptive, if a bit passive.

Hi BPH,
You got lucky with the Older Lass....Nothing succeeds like success,depending on my mood I offer three rationalisations....Firstly,if your contact with the other Ladies was purely on the blower,then your new found confidence and manner of speech swayed their judgement....Secondly,if up tight and personal then your elevated expectations generated vibes enough to impress or perhaps even created attracting pheremones....Then again a third option,maybe Horace the Gypsies horoscope had been spot on,Mars was in conjunction with Venus and your Romantic possibilities were enormous,you are on a roll,strike while the iron is hot LOL.

He is even more confused now.

Yeah, I still have no idea what he's talking about.

What did you answer to that one?

I usually just say something along the lines of "I'm open to a relationship, but I'm picky, so I just see how things go".