Journey to A Successful Life

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Fuuckk I am a legend at over compensating. I was texting the girl who's number I got last week, and it was going pretty well. In my past, I have waited too long to ask a girl out, probably because I was afraid, and they lost interest. I figured this out, and decided not to waste anytime asking this girl out. I clearly had not built enough comfort with her, because she responded with this. "Sorry, I'm not that easy." (I still think it was an excuse because she wasn't interested.) Doesn't matter, I had the confidence to try. I'm going to have to admit that it did bother me for a little bit, but I was able to quickly rationalize myself. There are tons of girls in the world, and I was just unlucky to meet one that wasn't interested. I can save so much time knowing how she actually feels. It just sucks because she was the hottest one at my church, and was one of the only girls I would've went for. Hmm I've asked two girls out and got rejected by both of them. It felt better than the first time so that's improvement I guess. I'm going to workout soon and get high with my friends.
 
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I'm starting to get more acne, and it's starting to hurt my self esteem right now. I'm having a pretty easy life right now. I have no homework, or projects this week so I've been focused on working out. I've always been high every single day this week. When the work piles on, I have to focus more.

Social:
Incredibly easy to talk to strangers in public and greet people on the street. I've stopped greeting people on the street as I just recieve strange looks, but instead I make an effort to talk to other strangers in my proximity. I have to admit i still hesitate slightly, but I'm glad I still end up pulling through. I am talking to a few girls right now, just small talk. i'm not too sure how to make a connection with them so I'm going to read a few articles. There is this one girl I find very attractive right now, although most don't. I've talked to her a few times in the past but recently, I just have nothing to say to her so I avoid doing so.
1. Talk to her, come up with something to say before hand
2. Relax around friends and become less anxious
3. Free myself from judgement
4. Become more confident
5. Become my own man

Physical:
I am breaking out and I'm going to sleep early, eat healthy, and put a hot towel. I also cleanse and have some medication that should work. i have been working out every other day so far, and eating well. I have to work to define my six pack once again as I haven't done an ab workout in a while. I made the basketball team, but not the starting line up. I'm going to work on my shooting and handles whenever I have free time.

Studies:
Doing well in every subject right now except for Math and Computer Science. I'm actually excellent at math but I need to practice and do homework. I will attend some extra help sessions.
 
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I've definitely rebounded before. Got my second hookup at a party and she gave me head, but it wasn't good and I ended up finishing myself into her mouth. So I guess I broke my NoFap streak? :/ It's a big strikeout for me, because as I mentioned before, my rep with the popular girls in our grade is really ****, but she really spread good word about me since she is really popular. She is among the lesser attractive ones in her group though and hopefully I can reach out to her hotter friends. There's this controversial girl that I'm talking to, but I feel like she's baiting me. She has a boyfriend one grade up that's deezedd. Like you should see this guy. Anyways, we're partners for some music composition thing and for the last 3 classes we were alone together in an upstairs room with a lock. She's pretty attractive and was giving me signals, but the only thing I was hesitant about was her bf. She's pretty touchy, we sit very close together, and she's definitely flirty, but I feel like it doesn't mean anything to her.

Second girl
Over the summer, I had a plate, HB7 and met up with her twice. She's pretty shy, and I was her first kiss. She's a year younger than me. I flaked on her because I was being an idiot, thinking it was benefit me somehow. Unbeknownst to me, she left for camp for 2 weeks, and when she came back she stopped replying to my texts and when she seemed disinterested. Anyways, I saw her at church of all places yesterday, and she walked up to me. I wave of awkwardness just went over me and I somewhat froze (I was also experiencing really bad burnout from weed earlier in the day so I was very low energy).

This is my first debatable move: I ask her if she was interested in restarting what we had over the summer. She responds maybe. Then I don't know why I said but I asked her if she was baiting me or not. She said we'll see.

As you can see, my game was pretty weak, but not weak enough to get her to come "explore" the place with me. So we went upstairs where there were some couches in an open area, but there were around 5 or 6 people just up there. We sit down and talk for a few minutes about random stuff, but it got awkward pretty quickly. I was thinking of ways to isolate and I remembered there was a stairwell around the corner. I got up to look for it and when I saw it I motioned for her to come. She got up but kinda of drifted towards the door back to the main level just looking at me. I froze at this point, and I didn't know what to do. After a little bit of waiting I went over to her and I chose not to persist. We went down the stairs and I fvcking followed her for a little bit and went to talk to some other people. While I was talking to a group of guys and girls I noticed her leaving. She waved to me and i waved back. After I went home, I was kicking myself for not being able to hook up with her.

Physical: I'm on the Junior Varsity basketball team and we have practices almost every morning at 7am. I still get my workouts in but I only go to the gym around twice a week. I will continue this until the new year, when basketball ends and I have time to begin a daily workout regiment. I have to watch my diet as I am still eating relatively unhealthy.

1. Talk to girls
2. Relax around friends and become less anxious
3. Free myself from judgement
4. Become more confident
5. Become my own man
 
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Lmao I have been so incredibly waste this winter. I went to Orlando for two weeks and that was great. I copped a few kicks and lots of clothes. I talked to a lot of people in the incredibly long queue times at Universal Studios and it was great. I didn't talk to any girls..at all. I saw 2 or 3 pretty good looking girls eyeing me up at the waterparks, but I didn't do anything. I tried talking to one girl but I was quite nervous and I don't think she heard me. Things have to change when I get back to school.

Social
I have a New Years Eve party coming up with the my grade and the Juniors and I'm going to just relax and have as much fun as possible. Alcohol will be there as somewhat of a cushion so it'll be good. I'm going to try isolating a girl and going for the kiss. Learning from my last party, I just realized how horny so many of the girls in my grade are.. they're almost like us guys. I'm pretty confident in my ability. My goal will be to have fun.
 
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New Years Eve was a fun night. Was super social and talked to everyone, even before I got drunk which was pretty awesome. I was in a very good mood, I looked good, and the alcohol only amplified my positive vibes. Everyone loved it. There was this one girl, HB 7, who I'm gonna call Tay, and she was kinda short but had the nicest tits and was very cute. I would give her a I made three attempts
The first time I went for her I picked her up and asked her if she wanted to go upstairs and she said yes. One of the Juniors decided to ****block me and separated us. I didn't care too much and went back to the main room with my friends.
Second time she was cuddled up next to me so I leaned over, said a few words and kissed her. Again, that same girl pulled her away and started talking to her.
The final attempt was a success. I walked into the room where she was lying down. She was down earlier before so I offered my hand and she took it and I pulled her up telling her that she's coming with me. Halfway up the stairs I saw the ****block girl who did her job and pulled her away, but this time I motioned to Tay and she got out of her grip and came with me upstairs. We madeout for half an hour at least, and I saw her glorious tits. I was slowly escalating, and I don't exactly remember but she said some bull**** excuse about it being the host's bed and got up. I don't know if I should have persisted or not, but I did. After a little longer, I verbally asked for her consent to eat her out, and she said yes. I started to eat her out while fingering her. She started to moan, and after a while I got on the bed while she climbed on top of me and starting to give me head. It was nice but only lasted for 30 seconds when out of nowhere the same girl from before who **** blocked me like crazy barged in. I scrambled to get pull my pants up and left.

2nd and 3rd girl were junior girls I had gamed for a few minutes before they suggested we go somewhere else. It was a fun night

Anyways, that was Thursday night and school had just begun. I started hearing some rumours being spread around about how she was never down in the first place. I really hope this doesn't fk up my rep even more because it's not the best with the girls in my grade due to incidents that occurred May of LAST YEAR. I've learned that rep in HS dictates whether or not you are successful with girls. I'm not sure how to kill my somewhat sleazy rep with the girls, but I'm going to just be more friendly with them.

Anyways goals:
Raise my average from a 91 to a 95 or 96 by boosting my Biology and Math mark up from a 80 to at least a 90.
-Hook up with 10 different girls by the end of this year (already at 3 if New Years counts)
-Finish my grade 10 piano
-Become more grateful and become a positive thinker
-Gain a nice summer body by toning abs, arms and shoulders
-Become more confident, by putting myself out there more and talking to more strangers.
-Become a better listener
-Find a summer job, and apply this weekend
-Grow taller by sleeping earlier and eating healthy
 

hanni

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Lots of hookups will mean you're a daddy by age 20 and divorced by age 23, with half of the money you make taken from you for the next 20 years. Whats your hurry, hmm? Be a kid for another 5 years. Get a black belt in karate or something else useful. Chicks really dig it if you truly are skilled (and a good teacher).
 
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Lots of hookups will mean you're a daddy by age 20 and divorced by age 23, with half of the money you make taken from you for the next 20 years. Whats your hurry, hmm? Be a kid for another 5 years. Get a black belt in karate or something else useful. Chicks really dig it if you truly are skilled (and a good teacher).
Tbh I'm just horny af. It's so hard to control sometimes, but hooking up with real girls is much better than fapping alone in front of a computer. What do you mean by being truly skilled? Like at a sport or instrument?
 
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Number 1 goal: Sleep early
I have been sleeping after 1am and have been experiencing all kinds of noticeably negative effects. If I am to become successful I WILL sleep early.
Had a conversation with a surgeon today, and the fact that he only does 6 operations a month and still pulls in upwards of 150,000 is absolutely ridiculous. He briefed me on the kinds of people that become surgeons, and it fit me exactly. I will put more focus on my marks this year to prepare me for entry into a good program.
Money:
Several opportunities here.
1st: I applied to become a summer camp counsellor over the summer, and I WILL call him on Monday.
2nd: Copped a pair of Jordans and I'm looking to resell. I am in no rush to sell, I just want to look for deals as a hobby
3rd: Talked to an employee at Aeropostale for a little bit, and I told her I was looking for a job. Turns out she was the manager and told me to drop off my resume and cover letter. She was pretty fine but probably in college. So I am going to complete my resume and cover letter tomorrow and give it to her on Tuesday
Girls:
Got a party tomorrow, but it was such short notice we can't get any alcohol for it. It doesn't matter, I'll just showed up stoned. Gonna go for 2 girls there that I've been eyeing up for a while.
Gym:
Going to resume working out. I have to go in to get a new workout sometime
 
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About that party, I didn't manage to isolate any girls as there was no where we could go, the parents were hella strict and they were watching us like eagles jesus. Even took a plastic water bottle that I got from their fridge smelling it to see if it was vodka smh. I have a semiformal dance tomorrow and an after party after that so it's going to be a live night. Going to go for some girls at the after party, but again just maintaining a fun, positive vibe. I'm going to focus on having fun, not so much hooking up with girls. But if it happens, it happens. Socially, I just have to chill out, and just have fun. Got some great insight from yungballa and kind of got me back on track. I will revisit this site and the DJ bible when I have time
School
Got a huge biology test I'm cramming for. I lost my notes which is something I'm kicking myself for. I also made it into a boarding school in Massachusetts and I'm really hype for that this summer
Workout
I have a 2nd period spare every other day, and I use that time to find open gyms to improve my basketball. I was scrimming today and just realized how much better I've gotten in the past year. It's actually fairly inspiring. In terms of working out, I'm going to focus on toning my legs in preparation for the upcoming Track and Field season.
Other
Planning on applying to volunteer at a physiotherapy clinic in hopes of getting more experience. My chance of getting a job is over because the place I called isn't hiring for the time I am available. My other options are too far, and I'd rather gain the experience of volunteering with physiotherapy.
 
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Has it really been February the last time I came on here? It's incredible how much time has past, it feels as if I only wrote the post above yesterday.. Most of it attributes to the fact I've been getting into weed. I defer from smoking, as I'm pretty committed into athletics and I don't want to damage my lungs. Instead I found a plug for chocolate edibles. He works at the dispensary, and I've bought lots of bars off of him to sell for cheaper. Pretty good cash flow, made a few hundred in a week. However, that number will go down since people don't eat them as fast as I'd like to haha. Got my second term report card back, finished with a 92 overall. Pretty disappointed with that as all my closest friends had 95s or above. Also, my highest marks are relatively useless, so I need to boost my Biology and Math to at least a 92. In the last month of school, I will lay off all weed and just grind hard for the exams.
My goal for the end of the year is at least a 94.
Careers - 99
Gym - 99
Music - 97
Chemistry - 94
English - 91
American History - 91
Biology - 88
Math - 88
Compsci - 82

School is my priority over everything right now, even girls as I have a regular fwb and she really helps calm my hormone. It's great that I can hook up with her whenever I want, so I don't have so much sexual energy accumulating inside me. For the first time, sex isn't the only thing on my mind all day. I'd give her at least an 8/10, cute face, very full tits, skinny body. She's been a year younger than me, but the first time I really talked to her was at the party I mentioned above. We started snapchatting, some of her friends told me that she was down to hook up, and I told her to swing by my house to chill the week after. This was honestly the easiest thing that's ever happened to me. God it's so easy when the girl is attracted to you first. Her parents don't let her stay out late on school nights because she almost failed second term. But she's been coming over during lunches and we hook up for a while, gives me head, etc. Very fun. There's another girl that caught my eye as well. She's not really apart of the popular crowd so she's never been invited to any of our parties, but she's very fine and a lot of the guys gawk at her when she walks by, including me. None of them have the courage to talk to her of course, so I have the advantage there haha. I found out she really wants to try smoking weed and I took her with me one day after school. I was flirting with her most of the time, and being touchy. Verbally, she was laughing at all of my jokes and stuff, but her body language was not that open, and she'd do stuff like backing off a little if I got close. I didn't go for the kiss that night.
I was also snapchatting her the other night when the funniest **** happened. When it was getting late, I told her she was very cute and her response was "gnn." Now I genuinely believe I don't have a chance. Didn't phase me too much, just found ithilarious

Sports
Have not been working out recently as I still need to secure with excellent grades at the end of my sophomore year. I have too many outside of school commitments such as Piano, and courses. Combined with the amount of daily studying and chores I need to do, it's hard to squeeze time in for a good workout. I guess I completely lost motivation after my gains plateaued last year. I began working out late February 2015, and I grew tremendously in size by the beginning of April. However, comparing pictures of me now to myself last year, my body has not changed at all quite frankly. It's still enough for girls to take notice of me when I have my shirt off, but I was extremely disappointed that 8 months of grinding at the gym had not made any significant changes. I need some help in this area.

Aside from that, I'm pretty happy that I can maintain pretty decent marks while being able to get high every other day. I did sacrifice a few workouts in order to get high with girls or my friends, but I'm having a great time nevertheless.
 
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Haha crazy how long it's been since I've been on here. Not exactly a happy ending to this one - long story short I got ****ed with a false accusation in my last year of high school that almost got taken to court had it not been for my lawyers. But it was too late, the social and reputation damage was already done. I was asked to leave school and spent about a year with depression before going to university. Now, I'd say I'm doing well in life.. I'm studying to become a doctor, my college GPA is a 4.0 and I honestly think I have a good shot to make it into medical school. But, I'm struggling with all this leftover anxiety about people finding out about my past and distrusting me. Coping using drugs and having casual sex is really not a good idea. It just buries the problem. Anyway, i'm still grateful to all of you on this forum, providing support and advice over the years. I can't look back on this time as one of regret, but just a part of my journey. Life is a bvtch, but that's a given and I will not let this hold me down. Peace out brothers
 
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