Journey of a 28 y/o porn addict back to life

[PornAddictedLoser]

My normal day

Yes, my life is bloody awful. A normal day for me starts with me getting up exhausted from 4 hours of sleep and dirnk about 2-3 cups of cofee. I go to the university with chest pain and is capable of perhaps one or two lectures before I have to go home to sleep for another four hours.

Sometimes I force myself to the gym to have a 15 minute workout before I am dead tired and go home to jerk off then go to sleep. At nights I play video games and watch movies and get anxiety attacks because I'm 28 and have never had a real relationship. At about 4-5 am I eat my daily meal and go to sleep for 4 hours.


The day I realized things needed to change 2th of february 2012

Two days ago I was gonna jerk off and go to sleep but I looked at myself closely and wondered if I really wanted to spank the sausage the rest of my life and never meet anyone. I was disgusted with myself that I turned off the porno to search the net for people in the same situation. I found a thread about a guy who was porn addicted and read about how his life had turned around since he had stopped jerking off and watch porn. I decided that I would try the same thing to see if it could help me.


The goals I have

10 days without jerking off or watching porn to start with, if I make it I will try to add another ten days, etc.
Sorting out my training by lifting two times per week and doing cardio two times per week.
Break my isolaton by meeting more people

The rest will just have to fall in place as time goes on. I don't want to add too many goals because it just gets too complicated for the brain to handle.



Day one - 3rd of February 2012

Didn't notice any big difference during the day but I got my first consecutive eight hour sleep in about a months time. I did eat three times instead of just one time as I usually do.


Day two - 4th of February 2012

Woke up and felt in a more positive mood than I had in a while. I was feeling hungry for the first time in a very long time. Ususally I get hungry at late evening. I went to the gym and did cardio. Last time I managed 5-6 minutes. My goal was to do about 10 minutes.

At 5 minutes I didn't feel a thing, at 10 minutes I was breathing really heavy but I had a lot of strength left. At 15 minutes I was breathing like a locomotive and sweating a lot but I just kept going, 20 minutes passed and sweat was pouring off me and I was breathing like crazy. Ended up at 22 minutes and felt like puking but I was amazed by the increase. Went home and felt fantastic.

Not hard at all yet to stay away from porn. Energy levels are up a lot.

 

[Groovy]

how often do u jerk off?

 

[Quiksilver]

good luck

 

[PornAddictedLoser]

About once a day or so. Thank you quiksilver.

Day 3-5
Imagine turning on a dimer, that's how I've been feeling. Day three was crappy but now on day five I actually took the thumb out of my ass and contacted a few girls I had been too scared to talk to. I had them added on facebook but I felt like too much of a creep to talk to them for some reason. It's not approaching in the real life I know that but for me it's a big step forward to get over the mental block of actually starting to talk to women again.

My self confidence is better and I've been giving less damn what people think about me. I've also felt a angry at myself in a good way. There are so many mental blocks keeping me back for no reason at all which seems to be slowly starting to disappear. Been bombing out up to 16 hours of sleep some days just to catch up for the months of horrible sleep.

I've been having some wierd dreams as well, woke up with a boner from one, I guess that's a good sign since it haven't happened in a long time. Getting way more turned on by regular women. Just the thought of seeing them in their underwear is really turning me on, and locking eye contact with one is tingling my balls. No 10" ****s in the ass is needed anymore.

At least it's off to a good start. Haven't had much trouble not petting the snake. Day five have been the hardest but seems I got enough will power not to do it for now.

 

[JonJaper]

At about 4-5 am I eat my daily meal and go to sleep for 4 hours.

Jus out of curiosity, how come you only have one meal a day? You know that can mess up your metabolism/levels of fatigue...

 

[PornAddictedLoser]

Jus out of curiosity, how come you only have one meal a day? You know that can mess up your metabolism/levels of fatigue...

The only reasons were that I wasn't hungry and feeling too down to eat. I'm back to eating at least 3 meals a day and some fruit sometimes. Energy levels are climbing back, probably is not only the food though I generally feel a little better.

 

[ka_mate]

Okay dude you seem to have a number of areas of your life you need to improve on. Good thing we're here to help

1. Porn
This stuff is killing you. I posted this thread a couple of days ago
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=191577
The link on it (which I shall put below to make it even easier for you) is an absolute gold mine. Go to the site and watch the 6 part youtube series on how porn is an addiction and messes you up sexually. THE NEXT TEN TIMES YOU ARE TEMPTED TO LOOK AT PORN GO TO THE SITE
http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series and after you have watched the initial six part series READ STORIES OF OTHER GUYS WHO HAVE GIVEN UP PORN OR WHO ARE SUFFERING SEXUAL PROBLEMS AT A YOUNG AGE BECAUSE OF IT.

I use to look at porn and became desensitised to it and to be honest probably addicted. I haven't looked at porn in over 100 days and this has been the longest stretch of time I have done that since the age of 13. This site can help immensely, believe me it is brilliant. I know I sound like I'm trying to sell something here, but if you do one thing I say GO ON THAT SITE AND START READING ALL THE ARTICLES AND STORIES.

Diet

You said you don't want to have complicated goals or too many of them. Here are my dietary tips.

1. Eat breakfast everyday (no sugary cereal though, toast, fruit, wholegrain cereals)
2. Cut down your sugar intake
3. Eat more fruit and vegetables (Especially vegetables)
4. Eat less processed foods (e.g. Eliminate all McDonalds, KFC from your diet)
5. Drink more water and cut soft drink from your daily diet (sure drink it at parties but otherwise there is no need)

Sleep

Sleep is bloody important. People who get less sleep are more likely to be overweight, need more stimulants to keep them awake (ie coffee), are less likely to continue their exercise programs, are going to feel like sh1t and these conditions make it more difficult to talk to and be successful with women.

1. Sleep eight hours everynight
2. Turn all your electronic entertainment off at 10PM this includes (TV, computer, phone, gameboy advance)
3. Cut down the day time napping, both the frequency and the length of the naps.

If you start to get a solid sleep each night these day time naps will be less likely to occur anyway. You are trapped in a spiral at the moment.

Women

You know what dude, you are making a lot of changes with your life at the moment so I think some loose goals with women will work better than regimented 'boot camp' goals. At this stage, don't take women/rejection too seriously, your main focus ATM is getting your life together and they are just a bonus/sideshow

See how things pan out with these facebook girls you are talking to. Pursue them and if you get friendzoned then you can use this to your advantage. A lot of guys on here will say if you've been friendzoned never talk to her again. I disagree.

Become friends with them, you said that even talking to girls online was a big step for you. Having female friends is grossly underrated. Hanging out with them will make you less nervous about hanging out with a girl who actually has romantic feelings for you. You will learn things about the way girls think by hanging out with them and it can help give you social proof. I.e you think there might be a stigma towards you because you haven't been in a relationship. At least, having friends who are girls gives you social proof that you have relationships (albeit platonic) with women.

Tip 2. Read a lot of articles and tips on this website, you can both consciously and subconsciously 'pick up' on the way guys on this site interact with girls and this will help shape your own attitudes and actions.

Motivation

I find this guy, ET the Hip hop preacher is inspirational and can give you a boost and help you to improve your life. Look him up on youtube and watch a few of his "thank god it's monday videos' and if you aren't motivated then, message me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QufehP-F9yo

And a few more inspirational videos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myyWXKeBsNk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPnudujlBZI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEHQ9tzJpYA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6xLYt265ZM&feature=related

The thing I love about ET is his passion and energy about life

Develop that ENERGY and desire to live. Go ahead and spend an hour or two watching pump up clips on youtube and motivational clips

Next time you are getting a dvd (or downloading torrents) watch movies like

Rocky
Pursuit of Happyness
Remember the Titans

and if you haven't seen Fight Club I'd watch that aswell

absolutely brilliant movie and I just watched it recently and it helps give you a different perspective on the world (just watch out for the small snippets of nudity)

Exercise

There is a lot of misguided and contradictory advice on the internet so I'll give you the following basic guidelines

this is my only Set Rule of exercise the others are all tips
Walk for half an hour a day after you wake up Just get out of bed chuck some shoes/appropriate clothing on and head out for a short walk. Doesn't have to be fast, hell if you need to start with 10 or 15 minutes until it becomes a habit and then build it up.

My reasoning for this is thus, 1. It wakes you up, 2. Nelson Mandela did it and that bloke did pretty well in achieving things in life

and 3. This presentation about how it is possibly the single best thing you can do for your health http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaInS6HIGo

The following are tips/guidelines

1. Do exercise which makes you feel good and that you enjoy
2. Don't let your ego dictate how much weight you lift, start low and remain injury free
3. Make sure some of your exercise is outdoors rather than just in the gym
5. Become incredibly curious and interested in exercise. Don't just do what one source tells you to do. Investigate online and read different ideas and training techniques

Conclusion

I know I've given you a lot of information to digest, but read through it and the changes I've advocated aren't difficult, require a lot of money or time. Feel free to message or comment with any queries you have. Keep us updated on how things go

Good Luck

 

[Vice]

Was that thread that inspired you mine?

Anyway, PM me your email, I wrote a good eBook on this topic and I'd like to share it with you foir free. Working on the second edition.

Oh, and if you have a relapse, don't worry; they're cyclical and WILL happen. Just start over without beating yourself up too much.

 

[Nik TPT]

Good for you, but I watch porn from time to time as well and I never consider myself to be "addicted". How do you get addicted to watching porn and masturbating?

 

[PornAddictedLoser]

That is one humongous post but it was surprisingly quick to read through. I've just glanced through the brain on porn site and it seems legit enough allright. It's an addiction allright. The worst part is that you don't even notice that you are addicted. You go from being a wild teenager and wanted to **** everything that moves to not being turned on by a girl getting double penetrated or some other sick stuff.

I think I got the diet points down some what. Junk food is a no brainer for me and have always been but I do drink sodas from time to time. Most often I grab one after training. Speaking of the training it's getting good, I'm walking an hour a day, and have done two cardio and two free weight lifting since I started this thread. :rockon: The guy in the first video is about the body I'm aiming for.

You are right about women. I don't think the thing where you next every girl who is friend zoning you is a good thing. We live in new times now and connections are important. Good practice and social proof as you say. I'm not gonna tell a soul I haven't been in a relationship. I once made the mistake of doing that and I got my social value demolished.

Thank you for putting the effort on making the post. A lot of good info in it, got to go through all the links though but I can't make that tonight.


Update! days 6-7
I think I'm starting to actually feel some results. Some good and some bad. The bad part is that I'm horny and my temper flows up and down a lot. It's annoying and some bad things come along with it as well. Things buried from years back. The good news are the positive effects.

The best positive effects is that I am much more sociable. Today I spent an hour talking with four girls and had a great time. An hour before that I finally got to talk to a girl I fancy a bit. I noticed she looked on my crotch once and had pretty steady EC. Too bad she has a boy friend.

I also tend to kino people more. Before I acted like I had slime on my hands and people would cry "rape" as soon as my fingers would touch them. Now it feels natural to touch them in some situations.

My confidence is better. I walk with my head up and shoulders back. Energy levels is getting better but that might be because of better sleep. Had trouble sleeping one night because of random girls popping into my mind and turning me on, couldn't ge tthem out of my head.

I'm also taking up my old hobby again and starting a new one. If this is due to placebo effect or if it's genuinly been a chance it's great sofar. I almost forget to mention, I have lost nearly 7 pounds this week!

 

[PornAddictedLoser]

Was that thread that inspired you mine?

Anyway, PM me your email, I wrote a good eBook on this topic and I'd like to share it with you foir free. Working on the second edition.

Oh, and if you have a relapse, don't worry; they're cyclical and WILL happen. Just start over without beating yourself up too much.

I can't send a PM I'm afraid. Maybe I have too few post?

Can't get over the fact of how helpful you guys are on this board.

 

[Groovy]

Wow, awesome!! Did you see a clear peak in energy levels yet? Glad to see your improvement! Please keep it up. What's your age?

 

[PornAddictedLoser]

Thanks there mate. Energy level have not peaked yet... I think. I'm 28 years old as you can see in the title of the thread

Day 8-9
This was some hard stuff. No pun intended . Day 8 was the worst. I accidentaly watched this girl in a bikinni from a pic I had on my computer. Never thought I'd be so turned on by that.

Today did cardio. I managed to beat my last time by 2 minutes by the same distance and had increased resistance by one. I wasn't even exhausted at the end. Had plenty of fuel left in the tank.

I hardly knew it but I don't fret over the future much more. Anxiety about being older is nearly gone and it feels great. I'm so much more upbeat about stuff.

Had a very real dream about a girl tonight. Dreams are wierd but I require much less sleep now. I'm down to 7.5 hours or so. I nearly feel sorry for the next girl I meet, she won't be able to get out of my bed in a weeks time. There's gonna be a sex marathon. :yes:

Cheers brothers

 

[Alle_Gory]

Thanks there mate. Energy level have not peaked yet... I think.

After the energy levels peak your energy levels will take a dump. You won't be turned on by anything, your libido will be off for awhile until it comes back raging.

After the high, there's always a low period. Don't be freaked out.

 

[PornAddictedLoser]

It is good to know it will happen I will keep it in mind.

Day 1
First real set back. I failed and is back on day 1 At least 9.5 days the first time I made it. I punished myself by going to gym and doing squatting. My energy is still full. Now my computer is completly wiped out of anything that might be dangerous to me falling back. I only had picture or two of a girl in a bikinni.

 

[PornAddictedLoser]

Day 2-4
Nothing special to report on.

 

[3countriesPlan]

Keep at it, try to get to Day 15 this time. You'll be able to hang on longer and longer the more you commit to change. Fitness can really help guide your life.

If you are a smoker for example, you definitely won't be within a few days if you make sure to run 10k on the treadmill on a 4.0 incline at a speed of over say 6.0 each day. (you'll end up hating the unhealthy feeling that smoking just one cig gives you) Same goes for your plan. You'll begin to see a huge increase in your fitness level and it will keep you from sitting there at home relapsing and watching old Brooke Burke on E! reruns. Try to set weight lifting goals. Not sure if you are naturally strong or not but maybe a goal for being able to bench 135 six times could be a start.

 

[iqqi]

I was recently informed by an Asian health practitioner that your appetite should be at it's peak when you wake up, so being hungry earlier in the day is probably a great step forward.

Also consider some hobbies to occupy your mind and your free down time that you'd otherwise be tempted to watch porn. Something artistic maybe? This has many bonuses including meeting women.

Good luck.

 

[PornAddictedLoser]

Thanks guys. It feels easier this time around to keep at it. This pressure feeling in my groin is not as big but energy and socialness is still here. The only bad part is getting stiffies in awkward moments.

I lifted before fate took a dump on my life. I'm not super strong but I can deadlift for 275 lbs or so and 80 lbs dumbels for 8 reps. I focus more on the cardio because it gives me more energy than lifting. Goals are a great idea, at the moment I just increase intensity. Something more long term might be good.

Good idea iqqi. I spent so much in front of the computer I got holes in my schedule and sitting not doing nothing is dangerous! I've dropped my computer gaming from 4-5 hours a day to less than 1 so it's heading in the right direction.

Day 5
Nothing special to report. Contacted an old girl I haven't met in ages.

 

[PornAddictedLoser]

Day 6
Think I got two girls somewhat interested in me. I can hardly sleep, too horny all the time. This is FUBAR.