Joked about breaking up with GF, her response: "Things havent been the same anyway"

[dustmuffin]

I'm willing to bet she didn't feel special, feel like you care, feel like you pay attention.

And if you start doing this she will dump you anyway. She dosen't know what she wants. She knows she isn't happy. That's it. She comes up with stuff becasue she doesn't want to say IDK.

 

[Atom Smasher]

^^ Very true. ^^

 

[Atom Smasher]

Every women needs to learn that you can walk away at any time. This is critical for men in relationships. My woman knows that I can absolutely walk away, and that's the key to keeping their behavior in check.

I usually sound very harsh with women on this board, but in actuality, within that framework of toughness and expectation of good behavior, I'm able to be kind, generous, patient, and most of the other things that a woman needs. It's all about balance and about setting the initial frame.

The man is responsible for setting the tone of the relationship, not the woman. Men are often very passive and they just feed off the natural energy of the relationship... They work with whatever happens, instead of molding it into the relationship he desires.

A man must be the active force, the person of primary responsibility for the relationship. He steers it, he guides both parties, and it is his energy that is the binding force. This kind of man a woman will gladly submit fully to.

 

[wifehunter]

Every women needs to learn that you can walk away at any time. This is critical for men in relationships. My woman knows that I can absolutely walk away, and that's the key to keeping their behavior in check.

I usually sound very harsh with women on this board, but in actuality, within that framework of toughness and expectation of good behavior, I'm able to be kind, generous, patient, and most of the other things that a woman needs. It's all about balance and about setting the initial frame.

The man is responsible for setting the tone of the relationship, not the woman. Men are often very passive and they just feed off the natural energy of the relationship... They work with whatever happens, instead of molding it into the relationship he desires.

A man must be the active force, the person of primary responsibility for the relationship. He steers it, he guides both parties, and it is his energy that is the binding force. This kind of man a woman will gladly submit fully to.

Bad behavior???

 

[sazc]

And if you start doing this she will dump you anyway. She dosen't know what she wants. She knows she isn't happy. That's it. She comes up with stuff becasue she doesn't want to say IDK.

It's super sad that, as people, we arent taught to be self assessing, identify WTF is really going on with ourselves and then ask for what we need.

 

[AlphaNate]

It's super sad that, as people, we arent taught to be self assessing, identify WTF is really going on with ourselves and then ask for what we need.

Assessment: "I have no money."
What's going on: "I need money."
Action: "Give me all your money!"

TIL stick-up kids have life all figured out.

 

[dustmuffin]

Bad behavior???

That woman lives about 10 miles from me. This remix song is the best ever. I love the choir that comes in at the end.

 

[dustmuffin]

^^ Very true. ^^

I'll elaborate on this idea that happened to me. My ex wife was always coming up with something she was unhappy about that she wanted me to do. Being the dutiful husband I tried to please her. Problem was I would fix one issue she had and she would come up with two more. She was never happy. Finally after she suggested that I speak to her like a woman I said fuc k it to my self and just ignored her demands. That worked better than trying to please her.

I made ever mistake in the book with my ex wife. She was one disrespectful, lazy bit ch. But fact of the matter I made her that way. It was my fault. I didn't lead and was always trying to please her. I let her get away with murder. Thank god I got out of that relationship and finally got some good information on how to treat woman. Red pill is the way to go.

 

[sazc]

lol, it's so funny you guys talk about 'my woman knows I can walk away and that's what keeps her in check'. Did you ever stop and think that maybe she is good to you because she cares and wants you to be happy? Maybe she doesn't walk around 24/7 'fearing' losing you and that is ;what is keeping her behavior in check'. Maybe she is actually a quality female?

If she is walking around in fear 24/7 about losing you then she is walking on eggshells about keeping you happy. If this is true then she has horrifically low self esteem and incredibly high anxiety and not much regard for the quality of her mental state.

Have you ever walked around in a state of high anxiety 24/7? It really messes with you mentally after awhile, loops your head funny.

idk why you guys brag about doing this to a female - "she lives in fear of loosing me" as if it was something classy to impose to a human being.

 

[nismo-4]

Interesting, a lady's insight. Enter the judge.

Hmmmm, you could always do some adulting and communicate with her and ask why she feels the way she does, and see if you both want to work on it.

Hmmmm, this is what she wants him to do. She's grooming him to be demoted to orbiter.

In the end it may not work out but, if your goal is marriage with someone eventually, you might consider using your current gf to practice your communication skills on.

Right now, this relationship isn't even working in. There's a reason why it's best to not keep in contact with exes. When it's over, it's O.V.E.R. She thinks the grass is greener, or she reconnected with someone from her past. Just move on and improve yourself. When a woman breaks up with you in her mind, you can use an all-around improvement. You failed at being better than her other options/ men in her vicinity i.e. men she's on the fence with.

3 years is a lot to just toss in the trash without at least seeing if it is fixable.
I'm willing to bet she didn't feel special, feel like you care, feel like you pay attention.

There is a certain amount of attention that you give a woman. Women love attention, depending on what she has you pegged as at the time.

Try asking her what's up.

Great way to hand over your power! When a woman even discusses a breakup with you, you better have other options on hand, or make damn sure you start looking. When the ship starts to sink, jump and prepare to build another one. Remember she is not that attractive and you can do better.

Read between the lines.

A 3 year old Chrysler 300 is easier to fix and more worth fixing than this 3 year old relationship, which is totaled.

OP, your princess is in another castle. She's been there since January. You passed her test with 512 flying colors. Very commendable. But, she wants to make sure you'll be her orbiter before she makes you the dumpee and get railed in 7 positions by her new guy.

I hope you have some new options on tap. Be ready to erase and replace. 3 years is the past. Worry about the present.

 

[sazc]

It's because we know from experience that when we give our unconditional love to a woman and treat them well.. aka being a "nice guy".. we generally end up being taken advantage of. Most people, both men and women, tend to work harder when something is a challenge and doesn't come easily. I don't think either sex does this consciously.

I hear you. I think its always good for BOTH people to understand that this is a truth. The hope would be that both people would treat each other well knowing that, if they were an ass, the other person would walk. I understand that it's never that easy tho.

 

[sazc]

@nismo-4 your comments on my response are perfectly valid. I responded thinking that OP might want to try a conversation to see if they couldnt figure out what was really going on. Almost 3 years is a long time to be with someone and then decide to to chuck it without talking about WTF is up. I'm guessing, based on the napkin conversation, that neither person involved is sincerely mature or good at communicating and that mother is just a sh1t disturber and has her female-modeling all fvcked up.

Thing is, if they are young, it's always a good idea to mention that sometimes you can make a relationship better by being honest and by communicating. If it's not said then it will never be considered.

 

[sazc]

@bradd80 I'm with you and I hear you and you are right. I'm just trying to work on me and introduce those same ideas to my man - who (shocker) had never considered the idea of a relationship being sacred between two people. My man is still skeptical about all of it too (fearful, a history of avoiding, etc), but he care enough about me to be open to the idea. It's a process and you have to be willing to deeply commit and willing to risk getting deeply hurt. In the end, even if it all falls apart, being able to love and trust with no garanatees means you grow as a human being.

 

[dustmuffin]

Interesting, a lady's insight. Enter the judge.



Read between the lines.

A 3 year old Chrysler 300 is easier to fix and more worth fixing than this 3 year old relationship, which is totaled.

OP, your princess is in another castle. She's been there since January. You passed her test with 512 flying colors. Very commendable. But, she wants to make sure you'll be her orbiter before she makes you the dumpee and get railed in 7 positions by her new guy.

I hope you have some new options on tap. Be ready to erase and replace. 3 years is the past. Worry about the present.

Good insight. The woman that dumped me and sent me to the redpill was not my ex wife. She dumped me and told me I could be her special friend providing her with emotional support. I asked her why I would do that. That she would date *******s that would insult and degrade her. I was supposed to build her back up so she then could run back for more and give them all of the "honey".
I asked her what was in it for me? why would I do that? She texted about a week latter and said I was kind. F uck that she is on her own.

 

[Atom Smasher]

That woman lives about 10 miles from me. This remix song is the best ever. I love the choir that comes in at the end.

I actually laughed out loud when I saw the choir. That was the perfect icing on the cake!

 

[dk1990S111]

Ya this all sounds a lot like what happened with the girl I was with for 4 years. She starts saying things aren't the same, a couple weeks later I find out she's been talking to some dbag from the gym "as friends" and after a fight she ran to him and that was that.

 

[dude99]

Good insight. The woman that dumped me and sent me to the redpill was not my ex wife. She dumped me and told me I could be her special friend providing her with emotional support. I asked her why I would do that. That she would date *******s that would insult and degrade her. I was supposed to build her back up so she then could run back for more and give them all of the "honey".
I asked her what was in it for me? why would I do that? She texted about a week latter and said I was kind. F uck that she is on her own.

Back when i was 19 i had a chick try this with me as well. Except she didn't spell it out what she eas doing i pieced it together that she wanted two boyfriends. One to emotionally pick her up and fix her when her bf that she was sleeping with trashed her and made her feel worthless. Funny how i became the huge a_hole when i realized there was nothing it it for me and i stopped returning her phone calls and nexted her but the guy that treated her like garbage was never the a_hole. As far as she was concerned i was just supposedto be at her beck and call 24-7

It was after this chick i went red pill and never looked back.

 

[dude99]

Ya this all sounds a lot like what happened with the girl I was with for 4 years. She starts saying things aren't the same, a couple weeks later I find out she's been talking to some dbag from the gym "as friends" and after a fight she ran to him and that was that.

Every time a chick pulls the "things are different," or " you changed," garbage there is always another dude in the background that is giving her new attention.

This is how they justify their bad behaviour buy dumping the blame and responsibilityon you.

 

[Roober]

Doesn't sound good man. Not sure why you would even bring up that comment, but I am sure it really got her thinking now, if she wasn't already. Take this for what it is worth, but from my experience, when a woman casually talks about breaking up like it's a joke, it tends to be something on the back of their mind (i.e. it tends to be coming soon).

As someone else said here, don't talk about that kind of stuff unless you actually intend to do it. It puts you in her frame cause she fired back casually and got you to comment on it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Hmmmm, you could always do some adulting and communicate with her and ask why she feels the way she does, and see if you both want to work on it. In the end it may not work out but, if your goal is marriage with someone eventually, you might consider using your current gf to practice your communication skills on. 3 years is a lot to just toss in the trash without at least seeing if it is fixable.
I'm willing to bet she didn't feel special, feel like you care, feel like you pay attention.

Try asking her what's up.

This post is a good example of why you should never take dating/relationship advice from a woman. You have no idea how OP's girlfriend feels or why she might feel that way but that doesn't stop you from throwing boilerplate female rationalizations for why a relationship doesn't work out.

At the end of the day, what the girl did was extremely disrespectful, especially considering that she's been dating the OP for 3 years. They are lying in bed, and she's telling him about her mother giving an attractive waiter her phone number and says that breaking up "is not a big deal" for her. OP, it's time to cut her loose. It's over anyway.