Job offer brings argument with GF

crashdietguy

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2010
Messages
39
Reaction score
0
Wall of text, bear with me.

I got a job offer (summer job) yesterday, delivering morning papers. It's my first job if I choose to take it, and it will be good experience and some money even if it's a crappy job. Since it involves working night, from roughly 1 AM to 5-6 AM, I'll have to make some adjustments in my daily life, which upsets my girlfriend.

At first, I was happy about it (MONEY), then I got the blues because I realized I'll not get to see as much of my friends and my GF as I'd like. I expressed this to my mother (hardworking conservative) and she gave me some tough love about first jobs being crappy, but they mean experience. I took it to heart but was still in sour mood yesterday.

From my girlfriend's POV, I'll sleep the whole day away, won't be able to party since I'll have to drive at night and etc, essentially she feels like I'm putting her on the backburner. She wants to spend the summer with me, and I totally understand that because I want to be with her also.

From my POV, I'll work to 6 AM (maybe get done sooner depending on fast I get the papers out), then come home and sleep 'til about midday (12ish). That way, I'll still have time to spend; I'm young, I can handle a few weeks of non-circadian rhythm. I'll make money which we can spend on good times later.

Still, we had an argument today about the job. She feels like she'll be on the backburner, and I said that I'm not 100 % satisfied with the job either, but I'm young and I have to take every chance I get. We'll still see each other!

She sent this whiny text after I left (argument unresolved): "Just so you know, do what you feel is best! You want money then take the job, it will be for the best since you won't have to fight with your parents!"

Then, after I didn't reply: "Please answer!"

I answered: "Here's how it is: yes, it's a crappy job and a ****ty schedule, but it means money which equals good times for us. It won't last the whole summer and we'll still see each other despite the work schedule. I'm not 100 % satisfied with it, as little as you are, and I understand it feels like **** right now. But it's not an lifetime job! We'll get through this babe, it's gonne be a great summer "

She replied with: "We're not gonna have good times with your money! It's your money, not mine, so only you'll get to spend them! We'll see if we'll get through this. I'm not only thinking about if we're gonna meet or not, I'm thinking about you too. It's a tough job and you'll have to adjust all the time, sleep by day, work by night."

She's a typical 18-year old, really lives in the moment and by her feelings. Do I even reply to this? Been together nearly 11 months, is she losing attraction?
 

pinhas

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 7, 2009
Messages
212
Reaction score
3
Location
NYC
Take the job!

Never let a woman get in the way of gaining experience and making money. She does not see the future benefit of you having a job and just wants you around all the time for herself; Its selfish! Face it, you will not be with her forever (the way she sounds she's not a great catch) but the benefits of getting a job early on in life will last forever.

Don't think twice about it. The money and experience you will gain will allow you to find another girl who will appreciate your ambitions, discipline and dedication.
 

element0

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2011
Messages
92
Reaction score
2
Take the job if you want it, she's being selfish.

She says what she really feels....
We're not gonna have good times with your money! It's your money, not mine, so only you'll get to spend them! We'll see if we'll get through this.
Then tries to hide it by showing she cares about you...
I'm not only thinking about if we're gonna meet or not, I'm thinking about you too. It's a tough job and you'll have to adjust all the time, sleep by day, work by night.
She's acting like a selfish 18 year old girl, which is what she is, which is why relationships usually don't work at that age.

Don't reply, do what you want, and see how she reacts.
 

vatoloco

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2010
Messages
1,410
Reaction score
65
pinhas said:
Never[, EVER] let a woman get in the way of gaining experience and making money.
QFT +rep

Women come and go. Job and life experience are forever.
 

LoneWolf

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 23, 2011
Messages
399
Reaction score
6
yeah, you won't even be with her in the future. like someone said, relationships don't last/work at young age. working is more important and doesn't come and go like women. fuk her man. do what YOU want.. you're a man.
 

Well I'm here to tell you there is such a magic wand. Something that will make you almost completely irresistible to any woman you "point it" at. Something guaranteed to fill your life with love, romance, and excitement.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

KingofHearts

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 7, 2009
Messages
149
Reaction score
17
Take it from someone that was married (albeit very shortly) and has been in LTRs. Your job status does change the dynamic especially if you have crazy hours. Either you suffer (from lack of sleep) or she suffers (by not seeing you as much). In the end, you have to figure out something that works so you guys are happy. If she really likes you, she'll stick it out regardless of what you're doing. But keep in mind this little hissy fit your gf had and consider if its worth the effort. Its only a part time job FFS, what's she gonna say when you take on a full time job?! The "backburner" comment is a guilt trip, a very stupid and selfish one too. Of course making money to survive is more important than your gf. You need to take care of yourself first because she won't be around forever. Just like we make comments about AFCs are crabs in a barrel trying to pull people back down if anyone attempts to escape and better themselves - some women do the same thing because of their own ego driven reasons.
 

808

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 16, 2009
Messages
63
Reaction score
4
Location
The sunny side of the street.
Tiguere said:
Women Are Dreamkillers!
Taking what you said literally, Tiguere,
That's why women should come second. YOU are the one who matters the most; your dreams -- and keeping yourself motivated and actively working to achieve those dreams -- are what keep women interested.

Pursuit of YOUR dreams help her chase YOU.
 
Top