Jesus Christ!!! Someone help me.

[sandman6991]

I have FINALLY had enough.

Here's my story:

I've been learning Pick-Up for a year now...I know everything about it...but I can't do anything in the field.

I'm 16...and have very high standards for girls which I won't lower.

My only problem is that I can't approach girls. I simply don't know what to say, or do.

I think I can do it before I go out. It all changes in the field.

My problem is they are ALWAYS in groups...and I do have a stuttering problem (not always just when I'm nervous...it's not too bad...but alwaus in my mind)...and I'm afraid I won't be heard by the girl...or accepted by the group.

It's difficult to approach also because if I fail with a girl...I may see her around town since I live near them...and the last thing I want is a bad reputation.

I just want to get the number of ONE hot girl this week. Just ONE!

I've been struggling for too long...and tonight was the straw that broke the camel's back...I saw a hot girl in a group of 4 girls at a fireworks show. I followed her around the whole park...couldn't say anything. Then we sat down when they were waiting for a snack in line...my friend said she pointed at me...it could have been good or bad. I'm not sure. They then stood around for awhile close to us...she may have been waiting for me to approach. I didn't know what to say. I was afraid she wouldn't want to talk to me. I was afraid I would not be heard and be out of place. They moved again...and I followed. They were near the bathroom...so I went in...and when I got out...they were surrounded by a group of guys.

I physically CAN'T take not having any results for another week. It's too painful.

Help me out guys! There has to be something I can do. I can only go out to the mall this Friday...and the pool sometimes.

I need help...a quick routine that gets a number would be PERFECT for me. I have to do something Friday...this is killing me.

 

[jesusrules]

whats up? dude dont follow chicks around unless your going to approach otherwise they might think thats creepy. oh well so you let one slip, move on. it sounds like you need to take small steps. try going to a regular store with a girl at the counter. try a little convo with her then move on, but say stuff like how was your day stuff like that. if you do that youll feel more comfortable.

and approaching will be easier on you. for now dont approach chicks in groups. cause even I am having trouble doing that.its pretty tough also. so start off slow and work your way up. take care.

 

[ElStud]

About what to say, don't worry about it man, say anything. Talk about a shirt she's wearing, her shoes, how it is outside, make some excuse to open to her like "I've got a music survey, what kind of music do you listen to you?", anything to get things started. To be honest, opener really doesn't even matter in the long run if you have enough game. And yeah, hot girls will travel in groups a lot, you've just got to get the guts to go up to the group of girls. And what'd you expect, the girls to be out there waiting for you? Hell no, you had your chance to approach and you didn't, so other guys, with more balls, did. Really a group approach really isn't all that different, you just involve all the girls instead of one and if you get far enough, isolate the target. And that quick routine you're looking for doesn't exist man. You have to do something on Friday? Okay, do something! Stop seizing up to approach girls, just do it! So what if you blow out, so what if your approach isn't successful? Happens to me all the time buddy, but I still approach.

 

[Craig Reeves]

Wow....

So I guess you're pretty much two eggs short of a picnic, huh? I'm kidding, of course...

I'm going to try to help you out as much as I can. But keep in mind *I* can only do so much. It's not like I can FORCE you to take action. However, I think if you are AWARE of the problem, you will start being able to FIX the problem.

The problem is mental....

I want for you to think of your mind as a computer for a moment (your mind works just like a computer, but anyway...)

What's going on here is that you really do have game. You know what to do. It's just that when you're out in the field, your brain's "CPU" is being completely overloaded and so therefore your "attracting girls" program can't run. When you're not in field, your "CPU" isn't being worked so hard, therefore, your "attracting girls" program can run perfectly. What we need to do then is to eliminate what is putting so much stress on your mental "CPU" so that it can run more efficiently in field - so that your "attracting girls" program can run there as well as it does at home.

When we are in environments that we are not familiar with, all of the stimulation of that environment will have an effect on our brains. Our brains are making thousands of calculations trying to figure out patterns, tend to emotional/survival concerns and many, many, many more variables. Why? Simple. To help you to get USED to the environment. This is how we get used to environments: The brain simply processes all the variables that it needs to process about the particular environment and it's traits, and once the brain has done that over enough periods of time, the brain no longer has to process these variables again. Once this happens, you've grown used to, or "desensitized" to the environment.

Unfortunately, this processing can SLOW DOWN YOUR "CPU" considerably. This is one of the things that's clogging up and congesting your brain's "CPU". The other main one is actually your brain TRYING to OPEN the "attracting women" program itself. Just like a real computer, when a program is trying to open but can't, this puts a heavy stain on your CPU. A heavy strain on your mental "CPU" = frusteration/anxiety.

What I want for you to do Sandman is to NOT approach another girl for the rest of the week. Understand? Do not approach a single girl. Not one. Hell, don't even THINK about it. Don't worry about approaching girls by Friday or whatever the case may be.

Here's what I want you to do, starting tommorrow, and for the rest of next week instead.

GO OUT to at least ONE place or social gathering where there is an abundance of attractive girls. Understand? Go there, but DO NOT AT ALL worry about picking them up. Spend at least 2 hours there. I don't care what you do, but you are absolutely NOT allowed to talk to a single girl. Go to that exact same place and do this EVERY SINGLE DAY for the whole week. I don't care if you just sit in there and take a book with you and read it for 2 hours, you sit in there for 2 hours every single day for the next 7 days NO MATTER WHAT. This is so that your MIND can get used to being in such an environment so that by the time you start approaching your "CPU" won't be processing factors about the environment.

You see, you WANT to get better with women, but your BRAIN is stuck in old AFC habits, and one of the habits that your brain is stuck in is NOT GOING OUT. Therefore, going out is this HUGE thing to you that means so much, because your cognitive routine is NOT FAMILIAR with the activity that you are taking part in ON TOP of the anxiety that you feel about approaching, because IT'S not built in yet, either. Therefore, you must EASE YOUR MIND INTO it. Going out every single day WITHOUT the pressure of having to approach will not be so overbearing on your mind and eventually going out will be embedded into your cognitive routine and will not be such a mentally taxing and arduous event.

This is a technique that was taught to me by one of the most well-known pickup artists of our time. It worked wonders for me, and it will work for you...but you have to commit to doing it. The first day is always the hardest. Good luck!

 

[ItWasntMe]

Wow....

So I guess you're pretty much two eggs short of a picnic, huh? I'm kidding, of course...

I'm going to try to help you out as much as I can. But keep in mind *I* can only do so much. It's not like I can FORCE you to take action. However, I think if you are AWARE of the problem, you will start being able to FIX the problem.

The problem is mental....

I want for you to think of your mind as a computer for a moment (your mind works just like a computer, but anyway...)

What's going on here is that you really do have game. You know what to do. It's just that when you're out in the field, your brain's "CPU" is being completely overloaded and so therefore your "attracting girls" program can't run. When you're not in field, your "CPU" isn't being worked so hard, therefore, your "attracting girls" program can run perfectly. What we need to do then is to eliminate what is putting so much stress on your mental "CPU" so that it can run more efficiently in field - so that your "attracting girls" program can run there as well as it does at home.

When we are in environments that we are not familiar with, all of the stimulation of that environment will have an effect on our brains. Our brains are making thousands of calculations trying to figure out patterns, tend to emotional/survival concerns and many, many, many more variables. Why? Simple. To help you to get USED to the environment. This is how we get used to environments: The brain simply processes all the variables that it needs to process about the particular environment and it's traits, and once the brain has done that over enough periods of time, the brain no longer has to process these variables again. Once this happens, you've grown used to, or "desensitized" to the environment.

Unfortunately, this processing can SLOW DOWN YOUR "CPU" considerably. This is one of the things that's clogging up and congesting your brain's "CPU". The other main one is actually your brain TRYING to OPEN the "attracting women" program itself. Just like a real computer, when a program is trying to open but can't, this puts a heavy stain on your CPU. A heavy strain on your mental "CPU" = frusteration/anxiety.

What I want for you to do Sandman is to NOT approach another girl for the rest of the week. Understand? Do not approach a single girl. Not one. Hell, don't even THINK about it. Don't worry about approaching girls by Friday or whatever the case may be.

Here's what I want you to do, starting tommorrow, and for the rest of next week instead.

GO OUT to at least ONE place or social gathering where there is an abundance of attractive girls. Understand? Go there, but DO NOT AT ALL worry about picking them up. Spend at least 2 hours there. I don't care what you do, but you are absolutely NOT allowed to talk to a single girl. Go to that exact same place and do this EVERY SINGLE DAY for the whole week. I don't care if you just sit in there and take a book with you and read it for 2 hours, you sit in there for 2 hours every single day for the next 7 days NO MATTER WHAT. This is so that your MIND can get used to being in such an environment so that by the time you start approaching your "CPU" won't be processing factors about the environment.

You see, you WANT to get better with women, but your BRAIN is stuck in old AFC habits, and one of the habits that your brain is stuck in is NOT GOING OUT. Therefore, going out is this HUGE thing to you that means so much, because your cognitive routine is NOT FAMILIAR with the activity that you are taking part in ON TOP of the anxiety that you feel about approaching, because IT'S not built in yet, either. Therefore, you must EASE YOUR MIND INTO it. Going out every single day WITHOUT the pressure of having to approach will not be so overbearing on your mind and eventually going out will be embedded into your cognitive routine and will not be such a mentally taxing and arduous event.

This is a technique that was taught to me by one of the most well-known pickup artists of our time. It worked wonders for me, and it will work for you...but you have to commit to doing it. The first day is always the hardest. Good luck!

^^ Very good advice. Sandman, even though goals are a great thing to have you need to have realistic goals. I'm not saying that you couldn't pick up the hottest girl in your neighborhood, I'm saying that it is unlikely that you will be able to do so in the time frame given. There is no routine or script that you can follow that will allow you to pick up a fine girl. There are many answers to a question and many different types of personalities. It is impossible to create a script that will work 100% of the time. I also find that thinking too far ahead into the pickup will just make you pull a blank when you approach the girl. You can visualize, just don't write yourself a script. Craig is right about the overload of information your brain experiences when approaching a girl. You have to learn to filter out the background movements and concentrate on what you're doing. Once you become skilled at filtering out the background distractions you will be able to pull a number any time anywhere. Don't stress yourself by giving yourself such a tight time-frame, it will just work against you in the end.

Basically:
- make a realistic goal 'I will get a HB's number in 2 weeks'
- make a plan that will assist you in achieving you goal 'I will practice filtering out distractions to allow me to focus on what I'm doing'
- do your stuff and get the number
- enjoy the cream of your crop

A lot of the people here at one point or another have been where you are now. Do yourself a favor and save yourself some time by learning from their lessons instead of having to experience them first hand.

 

[aussiegoat55]

About what to say, don't worry about it man, say anything. Talk about a shirt she's wearing, her shoes, how it is outside, make some excuse to open to her like "I've got a music survey, what kind of music do you listen to you?", anything to get things started. To be honest, opener really doesn't even matter in the long run if you have enough game. And yeah, hot girls will travel in groups a lot, you've just got to get the guts to go up to the group of girls. And what'd you expect, the girls to be out there waiting for you? Hell no, you had your chance to approach and you didn't, so other guys, with more balls, did. Really a group approach really isn't all that different, you just involve all the girls instead of one and if you get far enough, isolate the target. And that quick routine you're looking for doesn't exist man. You have to do something on Friday? Okay, do something! Stop seizing up to approach girls, just do it! So what if you blow out, so what if your approach isn't successful? Happens to me all the time buddy, but I still approach.

Say anything? Like, I have to get back to my girlfriend can I have your number?

You don't just go in balls clenched in your fist, both pistols drawn. You need to work smart.

I recommend a simple approach that most people use and gets good success.

Say hi, whats's your name, I'm _________, I want to meet you, are you single?, cool, then why don't you write down your email/#. Later. Can be done in under a minute.

I don't recommend saying you're doing a music survery.

 

[Dr. Jim]

Remember: ABC as an objective.

Always
Be
Closing

This is a note to myself as well, I went to a party recently, opened many sets of girls, like around 25 or so approaches. Anyways, I didn't keep this goal in mind, and seemingly let the conversation stagger a bit or felt the nervousness.

This kind of shocked me, I was sober, I just never questioned for number. And I'd thought I'd beaten this fear into a bloody pulp, as a previous party I was drunk and number closed 4 times in 30 minutes or so...

It probably didn't help that this last party I was at, yesterday, I was hanging with an AFC, and not focused on this a goal - as in fear overcame me.

**** fear, it's a chemical reaction in your mind, and very easily overcomeable. Just takes blind courage and a brain.

Oh well, next time Dr. Jim will be practising his ABC.
Thanks to Glengarry Glenn - Ross for the quote/idea of ABC.

 

[Plec07]

Lower your standards till you build your confidence up. Number close girls for the practise and then just don't call them if they're not up to your standards then don't call them. Then when you feel more comfortable doing it you'll be able to number close the ones that are up to your standards. Take it in small steps mate.

 

[sandman6991]

Thank you guys so much for your help and time!

I will work on all of this and give a report soon!

Thanks again, it's much appreciated

 

[Ganji]

Don't lower your standards. From what you posted it appears that you feel unworthy to approach groups (of hot girls).

I could share some tactics to get around this anxiety, but pure and simple:

The problem is you.

What do you do with a problem? You solve it. Fix yourself first. If you're insecure about your body try working out or getting a tan. if it's your personality (and it shouldn't be, you seem like a funny guy) constantly be around people.

Improve, improve, improve, and improve.

Talk (not talk) to some cute girls in a working environment and realize that one girl's opinion isn't the end of the world.

But a word of warning.

They (the hot girls) will be insulted if you go for them while you're out of their league. If you're in their league (even if it's by the skin of you teeth) they'll be flattered even if they reject you. Flattering girls is never a bad thing, and when it gets around you'll certainly notice more female attention directed your way. Which in turn will garner more chances for you to bag one (or one of their friends...or both.)

Once you do that (if you haven't already) try thinking of conversation starters. If you're where you should be the girl will respond and keep the flow of exclamation and giggles. If not, she's either in an uncomfortable situation (with her life) or she's a *****.

But remember, even if she doesn't show, she will be flattered, and that flattery spreads like a wildfire to her friends. Girls can't keep their mouths closed about that sort of thing. So my advice is simply to leap in with a guise of confidence and hope you don't burn. Life is full of risks, this is a tiny one you need to take. Because once you do, it opens hundreds of doors.

 

[Ganji]

Actually, this might be a solid start for you as well as working on eradicating your insecurities:

Just like in certain martial art disciplines, where practitioners dig their hands through heated sand in order to build calluses and to kill off pain receptors on their hands, so too must we learn to build calluses against rejection and to stop rejections from causing us emotional pain.

As such, the purpose of this lesson is to go out, approach girls, and close for the phone numbers. But instead of the goal being to acquire the numbers, the goal is to actually collect a total of ten rejections.

After this lesson, you will have become immune to rejections, plus you will learn the difference between rejections and objections (and how to overcome objections).

This will be a long lesson, simply because, believe it or not, it is not easy to get rejected ten times, at least not without acquiring plenty of phone numbers in the process.

 

[ItWasntMe]

Actually, this might be a solid start for you as well as working on eradicating your insecurities:

Just like in certain martial art disciplines, where practitioners dig their hands through heated sand in order to build calluses and to kill off pain receptors on their hands, so too must we learn to build calluses against rejection and to stop rejections from causing us emotional pain.

As such, the purpose of this lesson is to go out, approach girls, and close for the phone numbers. But instead of the goal being to acquire the numbers, the goal is to actually collect a total of ten rejections.

After this lesson, you will have become immune to rejections, plus you will learn the difference between rejections and objections (and how to overcome objections).

This will be a long lesson, simply because, believe it or not, it is not easy to get rejected ten times, at least not without acquiring plenty of phone numbers in the process.

Straight from week 1 of DJ boot camp . I knew I read that somewhere. Sandman join me and something like 15+ others that are all doing the DJ boot camp together. Today is the first day so you're in the clear and not missing out on anything.

 

[LordGrin]

I have FINALLY had enough.

Here's my story:

I've been learning Pick-Up for a year now...I know everything about it...but I can't do anything in the field.

I'm 16...and have very high standards for girls which I won't lower.

My only problem is that I can't approach girls. I simply don't know what to say, or do.

I think I can do it before I go out. It all changes in the field.

My problem is they are ALWAYS in groups...and I do have a stuttering problem (not always just when I'm nervous...it's not too bad...but alwaus in my mind)...and I'm afraid I won't be heard by the girl...or accepted by the group.

It's difficult to approach also because if I fail with a girl...I may see her around town since I live near them...and the last thing I want is a bad reputation.

I just want to get the number of ONE hot girl this week. Just ONE!

I've been struggling for too long...and tonight was the straw that broke the camel's back...I saw a hot girl in a group of 4 girls at a fireworks show. I followed her around the whole park...couldn't say anything. Then we sat down when they were waiting for a snack in line...my friend said she pointed at me...it could have been good or bad. I'm not sure. They then stood around for awhile close to us...she may have been waiting for me to approach. I didn't know what to say. I was afraid she wouldn't want to talk to me. I was afraid I would not be heard and be out of place. They moved again...and I followed. They were near the bathroom...so I went in...and when I got out...they were surrounded by a group of guys.

I physically CAN'T take not having any results for another week. It's too painful.

Help me out guys! There has to be something I can do. I can only go out to the mall this Friday...and the pool sometimes.

I need help...a quick routine that gets a number would be PERFECT for me. I have to do something Friday...this is killing me.

dude, if u have soo much trouble in approaching, then u shud study david deangelo's body language teachings, where youre body language will basically make her come and approach u and want u.
by the way, just to let u know, I AM IN THE EXACT POSITION AS YOU, when it comes to picking up chiks i have approach probs and its all becoz i miserably failed this 1 time when i was totally confident and went up 2 a HB5, and what messd up my mind the most was the fact that she was only an HB5.
but in most cases i can approach but the fact that im worried abt is wtf wil i do after i approach??. anyways, gud luck man, peace out

 

[Ganji]

Grin, can you give me a link for that body language lesson lol

 

[sandman6991]

You know what guys...

I'm going to jump in the Boot Camp with you all!

I look foward to the journey and getting to know all of you better through this...as well as bettering myself as a person

Thanks again for all the help so far...it really has helped me and I will apply each bit of it

 

[LordGrin]

http://doubleyourdating.com/10318/BodyLanguage/index.asp?s=10318&