jelousy

[hb]

I have a problem. My ex girl and I are KiNdA seeing eachother. We hooked up two days ago. The thing is I want to be free to do w/e i want to do with other girls, and ofcourse if I want to be able to do this then I have to let her do w/e she wants with other guys. I truly want to NOT care about what she does with other guys, and I've noticed that she been very friendlyyyyyy lately and i want to act like i dont care but whenever i see her talking to guys, i just want to chop the kids head off. But that wouldnt be DJ status. I created an image that i want, i want to be that laiddd backkkk person, let her do whatever she wants and not care. So how can i control myself? She also got an Ex and she talks to his friends sometimes,I've also seen her talk to him. IM NOT SUPPOSED TO CARE!!!!!! Since she does this, to get her back i flirt with her friends, but i dont want to even do that. She got me mad today when i saw her talkin to her ex's friends and im supposed to be hookin up with her soon, should i still hook up with her?

 

[Y Trallwng Am Byth]

Next.

 

[Quick]

Some information is needed. It's obvious what you should do, but the info will help.

Who broke up with who?

What were the circumstances and what was said when you got back together?

Whose idea was it to be fvck buddies?

 

[-Zero_h0uR-]

I tried that for a little while with my ex, and now it's been 4 months, and TO THIS DAY I could bang a chick who has had sex with guys, but with my ex...

I was her first, therefore the thought of her dating another guy, and the thought of him having sex with her makes me want to kick his ass and kill him.


SO the solution to the problem?

Stop seeing her. Stop contact with her. Now she can do what she wants, I can do what I want, and I feel no jealousy.

It's because she was almost like a possession to me. And thinking of another guy messing with MY possession was what messed with my head.

You're best bet is to try what I did. And believe me... It will make talking to other girls easier, too.


Good luck...

-- Zero-

 

[hb]

We were together for about a year and a half. She was definitely my property, I took her virginity, she took mine. She was my first love and i was hers.

Since that year and a half its been about a year. 6 months ago we were seeing eachother and she wanted to get back but I said no cause she had feelings for some other kid. I guess she lost those feelings for that kid and since she couldnt have me, she decided to settle for the kid i was talkin about in this post. They went out for about 4 months. I stopped talkin to her since January, when she first started goin out with the kid. About a month ago I decided that i didnt give a fvck that she had a b/f because i felt that she was my property, so i decided to go after her, I wanted to see if I could get her to play her man with me. Just when i started talking to her as friends, she and her man broke up. Since then I've kept speaking to her.
The idea of us just being fvck buddies and getting at eachother whenever we felt like it seemed like a great idea to me since me and her are definitely still feeling eachother. She is definitely the girl I love but I do have pride. I cant get back with her cause how would that make me look? that i cant get another girl, that i got to keep going back to the same girl for 2 years. I know I can get another girl but this girl just has this grip around my heart.

Can anyone help me loosen this grip? I still want to have something to do with her but i dont want to get mad when i see her around other guys, and lately shes been doing this alot and i know shes been doing this because i used to always do it to her before. I use to always flirt with other girls infront of her and she used to get mad and i could tell. This time shes doin this to me and i want to show her that I DONT CARE even though i do.

The problem with this relationship from the beginning is that I was always there to confort her and I ALWAYS GAVE HER MY HEART. I dont believe I've ever made her cry and this is definitely my goal now. I know some of you guys are going to think that this is stupid but i dont. I was always the ***** in the relationship running back to her and now i want the tables to turn. Revenge.........

I wouldnt mind having her all over my d*ck, i wouldnt mind making her the girl that whenever Im horny she can be my booty call. I want to make her obsessed like i once was. AND I WANT TO NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT SHE DOES. this may sound impossible but I know it can happen some how and I hope you guys can help. IVE COME TO REALIZE THAT THIS GIRL IS THE ONE THING THATS CHAINED ME TO THE GROUND.

 

[-Zero_h0uR-]

I seriously understand where you're coming from, but as long as you want to have her as a F-Buddy, then your heart will remain hers...

You can't, after 1.5 years, just totally detach any and all emotions for her. The only way to stop the hurt, is to cut off the contact.

Taking revenge isn't the answer either. The only advice I can give you, is the thing that worked for me...

Move on. Let her go. You'll be a lot stronger once you can.


-- Zero-

 

[hb]

I swearrrrrr if they still had my past posts you would see how many times people have told me to do thissss. Do you want to know how many times I've tried to move on??? lets go back to the year 2001, the first year we started dating, we were together for a good 8-9 months, broke up, you guys told me to move on..... 4 MONTHS LATER back together and we lasted another 3 months and in those 3 months I fvcked her twice. The reason we broke up after the first 9 months was because she wanted to see other people and so did I. During those 3 months I couldnt handle myself, I just couldnt stop being reaaalll friendly with other girls and she was feeling this kid. I got mad so i broke it off we got back together the same weak and broke it off again. 2 months later i tried to hook up with her again and she didnt want to. so from April of 2002 till about october, me and her didnt hook up, THATS 6 MONTHSSSSS THAT I HAD TO GET OVER HER AND DURING THOSE 6 MONTHS WE DIDNT TALK AT ALLLLLLLL. At times I definitely forgot about her. Then in October i decided to just start talking to her again. We started talking and then we hooked up, we went on and off hooking up till about december, I bought her a expensive ring on her birthday in November. I was really starting to like her again, but her feelings for this one kid just stayed there. She told me she didnt really like him and it was really just that she wanted what she couldnt have.
Whatever it was I DIDNT LIKE IT.

And right around the time she was liking this kid, I was also talkin to a girl. This girl was gorgeous and she reallly liked me but things didnt work out because she knew i was still feeling my Ex and I THOUGHT SHE WAS STILL FEELING HERS but she really wasnt. So i thought that maybe if I admit I still like my ex, she'll admit she still liked hers. So i admitted I still had feelings for my ex, so she stopped calling me.
(im gettin a feeling that im insecure!!!!!!! that is why i want to be able to hook up with my ex and not care who she talks to)
My ex at this time wanted to get back with me and since I knew she had feelings for other people I said no. So she went out with someone else. Now if i had to get over her THIS WAS THE TIME.
I stopped thinking about her, I stayed away from anything that reminded me of her, I started talking to other girls. AND WHERE AM I NOW??????? RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTEDDDDDDDDDDD.

Thinking about me and her.
So guys, cutting her off isnt the answer.
U GOT TO FACE YOUR PROBLEMS. NOT RUN AWAY FROM THEM.
and i see the perfect way of forgettin about her is to be able to accept her with other people.

I still have feelings for her ofcourse, so i do want her around. BUT I WANT HER TO BE FREE. i dont want to care if she talks to anyone else.

And one thing i have to do before the book of me and her ends is, I HAVE TO GET MY REVENGE. i have to turn the tables, i have to make her cry for me and most of all i have to make her willing to die for me.

 

[-Zero_h0uR-]

Originally posted by hb
I swearrrrrr if they still had my past posts you would see how many times people have told me to do thissss. Do you want to know how many times I've tried to move on???

And one thing i have to do before the book of me and her ends is, I HAVE TO GET MY REVENGE. i have to turn the tables, i have to make her cry for me and most of all i have to make her willing to die for me.

Dude... You asking us to tell you how to let her be free, and have us give you information on how it won't bother you.

Guess what; it's just not possible.

First of all, how could we tell you to FEEL emotionally? We can't.

Second of all, how can you detach yourself from someone you're obviously in love with? It's not gonna happen. I am not trying to be an ass, but my advice stays the same. What you have just written has made me back it more, if anything else. Sorry.

My final note is that you should really look at yourself and see how she fits in the puzzle that makes you. If she is a major player in what YOU ARE, then you are far too dependent on her.

Good luck, man.


-- Zero-

 

[CLOONEY]

Man, listen to yourself, you love her, she has had feelings for someone else. This means she doesnt truly love you. You feel insecure and want revenge because you are really angry at her, you dont love her, you are just bitter. I have been in this situation also dude, and I can tell you I FEEL YOU MAN, it is not good. But since I still liked the girl more than she liked me, all my games and attempts to "beat" her failed. I for about a year of trying I was the one loosing, and she didnt care. I finally realised, MOVE ON. About 2 years later I found an amaizing girl twice as beautiful twice as smart, twice as funny as the one I was hung up on for a LOOONNNNNNNGGGGGG time.

You will find another great girl, but you have to realise this situation is a mess. And it is not running away from your problems, it is being smart and using common sense. If there was a guy with a guy pointed at you, and you could run away and live, or face him and die, what would you do? If you faced him it would only show pride and stupidity, if you ran away it would show smarts. Good luck and let us know how you go.

 

[Bungo Pony]

Christ, I just skimmed through this thread.

lets go back to the year 2001, the first year we started dating, we were together for a good 8-9 months

I'll tell you something, in the year 2001, I was still with my ex-fiance. That's the year we broke up. I've moved on with my life since then.

It's the year 2003. You've wasted 2 fvcking years on this bytch! How many more are you going to waste? You could have worked on getting over her, and moved on, but you're still stuck in this 5hitty heartbroken state over her.

Quit picking at the scabs, and let the cuts heal. In other words, eliminate her from your life.

 

[hb]

Yo guys i dont know about you, but me, i have a great deal of trouble letting the past go. I reminice alot, the past was great sometimes, and i know one thing, she'll never ever totally be out of my life and i dont know how im going to learn my lesson but i hope i do.Im not going to let her go, she makes me happy, she makes me remmember how happy i was when i was with her and i know she loves me and i love her, so why would i put those 2 years to waste? I'd rather have the one who holds my heart.
Maybe this aint love, maybe I'm just infatuated but hey there must be a reason why me and her always find a way to get back with eachother. Neither of us have moved on. EVEN AFTER SHE WENT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. YO EVER SINCE I COULD REMMEMBER, ive always wanted to fall inlove. Love is blind, even though i know that aslong as shes around im gonna stay chained where I am. Fvck it, one life to live and i guess i should just do whatever i want to. Let me learn from my own mistakes and yo i guess she can be friendly with whoever she wants, im gonna teach myself not to care, and if i cant then fvck it i'll just knock out whoever shes talkin to.

 

[-Zero_h0uR-]

Then there's nothing we can do for you, bro.

Good luck.


-- Zero-

 

[silverdog]

What ever you do, do not do revenge, look, have you heard of karma, or the law of cause and affect? your ex will end up getting the EXACT same treatment she gave you, she will feel the same pain you did, so why go out and get bad karma by doing revenge? revenge is for 8 year olds, and you are not an 8 year old, no, your a man with **** and balls! so forget about her man.

 

[Bungo Pony]

I laugh at fools, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Now that I'm done, I'm going to tear apart your post....

Originally posted by hb
Yo guys i dont know about you, but me, i have a great deal of trouble letting the past go. I reminice alot, the past was great sometimes,

There is nothing wrong with reminicing. It brings back pleasant memories. One thing that you've got to learn is that the past is in the past - there is no way of re-capturing it. No matter what you do, no matter how carefully you retrace your footsteps, it's never going to have the same effect that it did originally.

and i know one thing, she'll never ever totally be out of my life

The only ways that is possible is if she's related to you, or you die first. She may never leave your memory, but she can be removed, from your life.

she makes me happy,

You've obviously learned nothing in your 3 years on this forum. If a woman is the source of your happiness, you're going to depend on her for it. If she stops being the foundation of your happiness, your building is going to crumble. The only solid foundation for happiness, is the happiness you bring upon yourself. Also, if you're so ****ing happy, why are you stressing out over her? If she makes you so incredibly happy, you wouldn't have posted your problems in the first place. She pisses you off when she's talking to other guys. Learn the difference between being pissed off and being happy.

she makes me remmember how happy i was when i was with her and i know she loves me and i love her,

....and from your first post in this thread:

The thing is I want to be free to do w/e i want to do with other girls

Sounds like true love to me

so why would i put those 2 years to waste?

Those two years have been wasted because you didn't learn from your mistakes. If you had looked back on what happened, what you did wrong, and why she wasn't right for you, those 2 years could be classed as experience.

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart.

How come this forum doesn't have a vomiting smilie?

Maybe this aint love, maybe I'm just infatuated but hey there must be a reason why me and her always find a way to get back with eachother.

Remember when I told you about my ex-fiance? We got engaged after we got back together. Now she's history.

Neither of us have moved on.

That's because neither of you have the ba11s to do it.

ive always wanted to fall inlove.

You must also want to experience heartbreak. Prepare yourself.

Love is blind,

This is the worst fvcking statement that society has dropped on us. A better one is "Love blinds you if you allow it to".

even though i know that aslong as shes around im gonna stay chained where I am.

Ah, the AFC is chained up while she's got the whip. Look at the AFC scream! The sad thing is the AFC has the key to unlock himself.

Fvck it, one life to live and i guess i should just do whatever i want to. Let me learn from my own mistakes

If you haven't learned after 2 years, it's not going to happen anytime soon

 

[Starman]

Bungo is right on , you are acting like an immature child. Grow up

#1 She ISNT your property. Just because you devirginized each other doesnt mean you own each other. GET OVER THAT..thats your greatest misconception.

#2 Like the guys said .. you are clinging on for life..to a girl that gave you happiness in the past..thinking you can somehow magically "revive" this magic..alot has happened .. The Love ISNT the same it used to be.

You also seem to fear being single and lonely again. Basically you are addicted like a heroine addict to this girl to bring happiness to your life..and if you realize after the past 2 years ..nothing happened..NOTHING WILL HAPPEN.

and the whole fact that you refuse to let this women go, even fantasizing that you can be great friends some day..defines your clinginess.

JUST LET GO! and get on with your life once and for all.

Are you gonna be back in here 3 years from now and whine about the same girl? Is that what you want?

 

[rbd]

Originally posted by -Zero_h0uR-
...
SO the solution to the problem?

Stop seeing her. Stop contact with her. Now she can do what she wants, I can do what I want, and I feel no jealousy.

It's because she was almost like a possession to me. And thinking of another guy messing with MY possession was what messed with my head.
...
-- Zero-

You're not supposed to care, but you WILL care and you DO care. I tried the same thing, and shot myself in the face with it. GET AWAY FROM THIS GIRL, do not play these games, you will only hurt yourself!

Zero has hit the nail right on the head, my ex was the same way to me until I finally got it through my head to get over her.
They will come back every once in awhile to "test the waters" and to flirt, etc. with you. They could be confused, they could be just plain old manipulative, but WHO CARES as you will be hurt either way in the end. As corrupadelic said on a post, "risk on the future not on the past".

Robby

 

[Starman]

Unfortunately, sometimes as humans , we think the past IS the future. Ive been there done that..its a complete waste of time and energy.

I was re-reading a book I bought a few years back when I had a hard time leting go of my ex. "How to break your addiction to a person"

It makes this analogy:

You are in a prison of love..that you can easily walk out of if you wanted..but you have become so used to being in prison..that the outside world is scary..sometimes you step outside the prison..are afraid of everything thats new..and run right back in and lock the doors and wonder..How do I get out of here?

 

[Matt ala Casanova]

I skimmed through this...

Food for thought! Imagine for a minute your lil girly friend getting banged from behind and sucking off another dude at once. If it annoys you then you are insecure! If it doesn't then drop the thought and move on, go find a wh0re that will give you anal on a whim. If you want to be with this girl then be with her. If you want to pawn her off as a f-buddy then keep the emotional crap out of the picture. I mean really, give it up.

Go on think again about her getting banged by two guys...I love guys like you. I was banging this girl before that was SOOO in love with her boyfriend, funny I would bang her in front of a mirror and make her say out loud how much of a s!ut she was, just to burn the imagine in her head so the next time she was getting made love to by her boyfriend she knew what she truly was.

Sorry went off on a tangeant, but for every guy like you, there is a guy like me either banging or just about banging the girl you have feelings for.

Bottom line...move on before you get all stupid and get your a$$ kicked by the dude that is about to beat your girls guts.

M.A.C.

 

[FlyGuy]

The only option you have is to get her the fvck out of your life dude. That's the ONLY option you have. Find your nuts and DO IT!

 

[hb]

first off, yo starman, you got it right on the money. THATS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL. And what im trying to say is that i think I'm always gonna be bothered by her bein with other guys. Yo M.a.c. straight up it wouldnt bother me if she ****ed two other guys cause then i'd know she became a hoe. Yo maybe she is a hoe right now but what im trying to say is, she wouldnt be where she is right now if it wasnt for me, this is why i want my revenge, cause its like she forgot that if it wasnt for me, she wouldnt be where she is right now. So then let me make her know that shes a hoe, let me **** her and bust on her face. Make her suck me off, she never done that before. And you guys is telling me to forget about her but yooo its always good to have something on the side, She inlove with me, this means i can make her do things for me.