jealousy

[AzN KniGhT]

i need help on getting rid of this.
whatever i do or think it's just there.
how can u ever get rid of it

 

[MindOverMatter]

It's ok to feel jealous, every person has it in them. What is important however, is to never show your jealosy.

Never show your jealosy. You appear insecure, and that increases the chances of her cheating on you. I think the only thing that really keeps girls from cheating (besides a good upbringing) is the fact that the person they're with now, is better then anything else out there, and not worth losing. If you let her know you're jealous of some other guy, you pretty much inform the girl that you think another guy is a better catch then you. Your value in her eyes decreases, and you are history. So never let a girl know you're intimidated by some other guy, because you will only increase the guys value in her eyes, while decreasing yours. Always be confident in your ability to keep the girl. YOU are the prize, she is not gonna throw away a Ferrari for a Fiat.

Always be willing to walk away. If you really do think this girl is cheating on you, or she is doing things that seriously disrespect you or make you trust her less, walk away immediatly and find someone else.

 

[biker_gixxer]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
It's ok to feel jealous, every person has it in them. What is important however, is to never show your jealosy.

Never show your jealosy. You appear insecure, and that increases the chances of her cheating on you. I think the only thing that really keeps girls from cheating (besides a good upbringing) is the fact that the person they're with now, is better then anything else out there, and not worth losing. If you let her know you're jealous of some other guy, you pretty much inform the girl that you think another guy is a better catch then you. Your value in her eyes decreases, and you are history. So never let a girl know you're intimidated by some other guy, because you will only increase the guys value in her eyes, while decreasing yours. Always be confident in your ability to keep the girl. YOU are the prize, she is not gonna throw away a Ferrari for a Fiat.

Always be willing to walk away. If you really do think this girl is cheating on you, or she is doing things that seriously disrespect you or make you trust her less, walk away immediatly and find someone else.

I 2nd that, nicely put bro.

 

[squirrels]

Jealousy accomplishes nothing. It's not "okay". You give people props on what they have better or more than you and you use that feeling as motivation to achieve it for yourself. Or you just let it slide.

 

[jbbrain]

I agree with squirrely-


Definitely not OK...well, past a certain point.


What I\ve realized over the past while is that its basically impossible to completely eradicate an innate emotion from ourselves. This point of "destroying" and condeming jealousy to eternal hell is both impractical and unrealistic.

What you can do about something like jealousy, however, if it means enough to you to actually lessen its effect, it to try and understand it.

Soul search. Find out the true nature of your insecurities. Why do I feel them? Using this answer, we're almost certain to beg the question:

What can I do, knowing the foundation of my insecurities, to lessen the effect they have on my life?

Again, this is the long route. But once you get there, once youve actually confronted your fears and made rational sense of them, your insecurities will never command your life again.

I think I've kind of changed my view on this topic of jealousy. I used to say "to hell with it, it's the devil!" (u get my point)

Now, I still a gree its a negative emotion, often entailing and manifesting even more severe symptoms, but I also agree now that it is not REALLY possible to completely get rid of it. But you CAN work with it.

In any case, sayign its OK to feel it but to never show it is easier said than done, and DOES NOT really deal with the subject at hand. Do you want to deal with this emotion so that YOU CONTROL IT fully, or do you want to let it fester inside of you, killing you inside, while you try your hardest to maintain that air of "cool" on the outside?

Should you really have a choice?

 

[jbbrain]

another point to mention...adding to this jealousy bit:

Im really only talkign about your insecurities here. If you are confident your chick is being outright disrespectful or is cheating on you, then, by all means, get rid of her..

even then, I wouldnt want to waste my time being jealous..whats the point? The chick is ALREADY on the verge of being replaced..

 

[GaryNas]

Jealousy is a horrible feeling. I hate to say it but the only time I was jealous was when I had every right to be... the b1tch was sneaking around with some other guy. .

 

[jason86]

jealousy is good, it gives you more hunger but like someone else just said, never ever show it out.

 

[FratAndDiddy]

let's think about this:

when jealousy develops, i believe it's a lack of feeling confident about yourself AND, the uncertainty in the other person.
i've been there too, and my problem was with myself and the rocky feeling that i was involved with the wrong chickie.
another part of jealousy strikes you when you betrayed. the ho you dated or married is banging others and it puts a lump in your throat.

i think once you correctly classify the hos in their prospective corner and build up the confidence, you will see that jealousy doesnt come crawling up your back as quick as it used to.

someone else said not to show it and i agree to that 100%

stay cool bro

 

[mahon83050]

How about when a chick you think is hot or one that you dig is with a guy who is alot uglier, dumber and a bigger a-hole than you? Can't call it jealousy because you are not threatened by the other guy.

 

[AzN KniGhT]

Thank you very much guys......I've been here for about 4 yrs now since it was put up...with that funny looking forum.
But I have never ever confronted my fears....now that I have everything is falling into place.

It's just that where I work ( I chrome and fix hydraulic cylinders), when there is nothing to do.....or very little things lined up for work I start thinking....my mind wanders...and because I am working I think "What is she doin...who is she with"
And whenever she wanted to hang with friends, I feel that same feeling.

No I realize the hell with it....When I actually didnt show my jealousy and 'TRIED' making her jealous....(i don't cheat, lie or decieve) then I felt better.

I just needed some push. Thnx guys. and more advices to come, I thank you for advice.

 

[NRM]

Jealousy happens. It happens to everybody. But the girl you are with should be so into you that it hurts you like a brick in the face. If you've pulled the right moves, you shouldn't even bother being jealous, she adores you. If you haven't snagged a girl like that, then there is a problem.

The truth is girls do weird things. They might complain about guys honking and whistling at them in the street, but deep down they enjoy the attention. They might complain about the guys who keep hitting on them, but they enjoy it enough to never do anything about it or tell them that it makes them uncomfortable unless the guy is totally repulsive or making far too many moves. It's just the way many girls are, whether they are dating someone or not. If you have a devoted girlfriend, she'll tell them to step off, but many girls just don't.

First, quit caring so much about her. Start caring about you. You have work to do. If you're chroming hydraulic cylinders, keep your mind on that. If she didn't like you, she wouldn't be with you, unless there was some offset reason such as money, attention, whatever. Let her do whatever she wants during the week and quit worrying about it. You can tell if your girlfriend isn't really happy with you, which at that point, you should just break it off because it only goes downhill from there.

And as the guys say, definitely don't show it. Just as a man, you learn to hide pain and emotion. Be a man and don't show your jealousy. You're better than any two-bit carbon copy guy out there, so think that way. When you do that, she'll naturally be attracted to you. You're just better than everyone else and you act like it. If you're doing things right, you have nothing to worry about, so don't worry and keep your mind set on yourself.

 

[AzN KniGhT]

Originally posted by NRM
Jealousy happens. It happens to everybody. But the girl you are with should be so into you that it hurts you like a brick in the face. If you've pulled the right moves, you shouldn't even bother being jealous, she adores you. If you haven't snagged a girl like that, then there is a problem.

The truth is girls do weird things. They might complain about guys honking and whistling at them in the street, but deep down they enjoy the attention. They might complain about the guys who keep hitting on them, but they enjoy it enough to never do anything about it or tell them that it makes them uncomfortable unless the guy is totally repulsive or making far too many moves. It's just the way many girls are, whether they are dating someone or not. If you have a devoted girlfriend, she'll tell them to step off, but many girls just don't.

First, quit caring so much about her. Start caring about you. You have work to do. If you're chroming hydraulic cylinders, keep your mind on that. If she didn't like you, she wouldn't be with you, unless there was some offset reason such as money, attention, whatever. Let her do whatever she wants during the week and quit worrying about it. You can tell if your girlfriend isn't really happy with you, which at that point, you should just break it off because it only goes downhill from there.

And as the guys say, definitely don't show it. Just as a man, you learn to hide pain and emotion. Be a man and don't show your jealousy. You're better than any two-bit carbon copy guy out there, so think that way. When you do that, she'll naturally be attracted to you. You're just better than everyone else and you act like it. If you're doing things right, you have nothing to worry about, so don't worry and keep your mind set on yourself.

FUKKIN RIGHTS!!!!!

What I havent explained is that i have hurt her so many times with my stupid jealousy, that is why I am facing it.
I am hurting a person I deeply care for. And guess what......she is still with me and tell me everyday that we both will ge thru me being jealous...I just admitted it to her and she now understands.....
Yes there are lots of women out there, but if you found someone that will face your fears with you........my Don Juans don't let go of that just because you read here that having so many women will help fulfill you......remember they are just a topping to your ice cream and I am just starting to realize that again.

"The greater man is not the one that sleeps with a million women in his lifetime, but the man that can keep one forever."
- I don't know who said that but he's fukking right.