Jealousy?!

[search1ng]

Alright guys,

Somewhat of a mind-fck issue i guess.

So I knew this kid back in high school, got sh1t grades, graduated with a really poor score in high school, went to a community college for a few years then dropped out to work full-time in some company. Don't know what kind though, he says it's some finance company but, he has no degree and the only work experience he has is working at a clothing store and grocery store. He talks well though, and is good with people. It irks me though, cause behind their backs he talks so much sh1t.

Anyway So i hear some news not too long ago. Apparently he's bought a car, and he's bragging about being able to buy an apartment within 2 years.

I guess I'm kind of jealous?

Here's my case, graduated high school with a pretty decent score, top 15%. Then fcked up in university a bit (messed up 3 years). Switched degrees into radiography with thoughts of going into grad medicine to specialize in oncology and hematology (got my head on right again). Either way I'd say I'm on track and should be a Dr. by 30 at the latest, finish specializing in my 30's, w/e.

Atm, we're both 22.

I know jealousy is a fcking BS emotion, but we're all human right? I just can't help but compare us even though we're on two completely different paths!

Might be cause he's got this bloody, 'I'm the fcking KING,' personality. But it just rubs me the wrong way at times, and when it does, i can't help but think - dude, get fcking real?!

Sometimes it feels like i want this guy to fail. We all know that is a fcking MESSED UP way of thinking and in doing so setting yourself up as a pretty weak and beta male.

Why can't I just be happy for him and do my own thing?

It's so weird as well, cause I've got heaps of successful friends, some younger, some older. Working, earning good money, have houses w/e and for them I'm genuinely happy for them, sometimes a little jealous but, the natural, non malicious kind.

How do I just stop giving a fck about this dude?! I mean all those materialistic things come in time right? does it matter how early you accomplish these things? fck...

Btw. don't know if this matters but his father is a fcking fraud. Cheated a good couple i know out of a lot of money but covered his tracks well enough to not get caught. He's shady as hell - the smile to your face but stab you in the back kind of guy. I don't like the fcker, but that doesn't mean his kid will turn out the same right - even though i definitely see similarities... the kid is obsessed with money.


...

Ugh - I've still got a long way to go it seems, hah.

edit: I think I've found the cause of it all, money! haha... just had to remind myself why I'm on the path I've set for myself in the first place.

 

[squirrels]

Ask yourself, "would I want to change places with this guy?". Normally when I ask that question, the answer is "no". If it isn't, then I ask myself what I can do with myself to at least set myself in that direction.

For what it's worth, guys who flaunt their wealth usually either don't have as much as they pretend to, or are covering up some other insecurity/inadequacy. The people who have genuine success just do their thing with quiet confidence. They don't need to brag.

If medicine is really your "calling", they way you feel like you can best provide value in life, then once you "make it", as long as you're passionate about what you do, I doubt you will be short on money/wealth.

Don't sweat that dude. Sitting around wishing you had what he had won't help you get it. It certainly could NOT hurt you to become better at interacting with people, though. Academic performance to the exclusion of all else can leave you a bit one-sided, and if you DO want to be a successful doctor, you're not gonna get there if you can't interact with patients.

Remember, "n*ggaz bleed just like us".

 

[search1ng]

Thank you Squirrels, It's good to hear advice from someone you respect.

And what you said really is solid advice, it makes a lot of sense and really resonates with me.

I think I'm pretty social, hit the gym with the boys 4 - 5 times a week, occasional poker night, have fun clubbing when I've got the time and I'm a guitarist in a band - I've never really had trouble interacting with and making friends!

trying to find a part time job though.. hah.

 

[squirrels]

Thank you Squirrels, It's good to hear advice from someone you respect.

And what you said really is solid advice, it makes a lot of sense and really resonates with me.

I think I'm pretty social, hit the gym with the boys 4 - 5 times a week, occasional poker night, have fun clubbing when I've got the time and I'm a guitarist in a band - I've never really had trouble interacting with and making friends!

trying to find a part time job though.. hah.

Interacting with friends is easy. It's how you interact with strangers (or even enemies!) that really defines who respects you.

 

[squirrels]

I thought of this thread when I was reading this in "Mature Man":

When we met my wife was dating 2 very rich men (we were non-exclusive, remember?), I had 2 nickels and a beat up pickup truck to my name. Mrs. Tomassi is a medical professional and the men she'd dated prior were E.R. doctors and radiologists; guys making well over $300K annual. They had boats, cars, large homes, status, disposable wealth, and yet despite all of that I'm the one she pursued and locked in with (her Mom thought she was insane to marry me at the time). They had it made, but for all that wealth they were still clueless when it came to being Men - they were uncomfortable in their own masculinity. A lot of guys mistakenly believe that having a large bank account is the key to getting women, and while that might be true in the short term, in the long term it's to your own detriment (she'll end up with half after the divorce) if you don't ultimately kill the inner AFC and fearlessly embrace the positiveness of your own masculinity.

 

[Vice]

Too true man, normally this kind of stuff doesn't bother me per say. It's just THIS particular guy at the most random times. I think, just fundamentally he rubs me the wrong way at times. He has something of a jekyll and hyde personality. Kudos on that kind of success btw, seriously is amazing especially @ 20 man.

Thanks for the rollo quote squirrels, that actually makes a lot of sense. Being a MAN should be effortless, yet it really is hard to 'nail,' at times.

Thank you. I'm sure some people that knew me before might feel the same way about me; I used to be a huge dork with no social intelligence, now I've changed alot and alot of people stopped liking me because the ways they used to manipulate me stopped working. Maybe that's the case with you. Or maybe he's still a punk.

I thought of this thread when I was reading this in "Mature Man":

And that is EXACTLY why I don't get too worked up when my competition is like that; they're usually losers anyway. When I become wealthy, it's going to be fun because of the lifestyle I'm going to design for myself. Plus that lifestyle will extend to benefit other people.

On a side note, boats are a HORRIBLE idea. The maintenance costs on them is enourmous, and it's actually cheaper to maintain an exotic car or two.