Fugitive said:
Should I get orbiters of my own to balance this out? That means dating girls and friendzoning them? May even f*ck them. Or is this strategy playing with fire?
I think your entire post is full of red flags.
1) First off, I am very much against game playing of ANY sort in a relationship, and I have a very low tolerance level for it. So if my girlfriend was the sort to want to play games with me and try to make me jealous, my first thought would be I have the wrong girlfriend.
I know much of SoSuave is all about game playing, but I think game playing is BS. All you have to do is BE a man, BEHAVE like a man, BE masculine, and HOLD a masculine frame, and that is all that is necessary. And since you are actually a male, that should come naturally to you. It may not be easy necessarily, because being a man is not always easy, that's not what being a man is about.
2) Men don't have orbiters. Well, some do, but not usually to the extent women do. Some men use female orbiters for attention and validation just like women do. But usually, if the women are attractive, men are going to want to bang them.
You can see this because in your paragraph when you talk about getting orbiters, you immediately start to consider fvcking them. Nothing wrong with that, that is natural for a man. But it obviously shows that you are not happy with this relationship since you're already consdiering banging other women.
3) Why are you jealous of these men in the first place, if she's only talked to them for two minutes? My girlfriend actually complains because I never get jealous. Which leads me to Espi's post:
Espi said:
I'll go you one further and admonish any DJ from ever starting an exclusive relationship to begin with.
The man who has options rarely ever feels jealous. When he loses one woman, he simply shrugs his shoulders and moves to the next one.
I don't share Espi's distaste for exclusive relationships. I spent years spiinning plates, but I can't say that I've ever found that lifestyle to be fulfilling. I prefer having the steady girlfriend. Not everyone can embrace the player mentality for life, there comes a time for some of us when it gets to be very old.
The thing is, once you KNOW that you can get women, and that women can always be replaced, I don't think it is necessary to continue to spin the plates, because you have the abundance mentality already written into you. This is why I don't sweat my relationship (I think most relationships have shelf lives anyway), because I know any girl can be replaced. Which is why I don't get jealous.
This is a hard mentality for a guy who is just starting out and doesn't have the experience needed to achieve it. Really, if I had been successful with women from the beginning, and not had the failures I've had, I would have never gained all that experience from spinning plates and whatnot. So all clouds have silver linings, as they say. And embrace failure, because we learn from failure.
Rainman4607 said:
He likes her & she has slept with him once in 2012 (drunken fumble she says) I think he is an orbiter.
This example serves as more proof that girls WILL sleep with orbiters sometimes.
You can't take PUA Theory as written in stone. The reason the community teaches that you shouldn't get into the friendzone with a girl is NOT because it will be impossible to sleep with her that way. It just isn't a very efficient way of getting it done - there are far better ways to approach it.
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