Jayer's Digression

[Gangster Of Love]

Take her dancing. It's a bit of an exercise, and the fact that there are so many fit women looking for a guy like you will give her that competition anxiety to motivate her to lose weight fast.

Yeah, take her dancing on the treadmills at the gym, 5 days/week, for the next 8 weeks, and she'll loose weight.

 

[Reyaj]

Sorry its taken me a while to respond. I want to first thank everyone who took the time out to respond. I will do my best to address each of you as its the least I can do

Zekko

I'm glad you found that humorous Perhaps you can now share your views on relationships/marriage/dating/sex as I always look for advice from seasoned vets.

Phat Rabbit

Yes I am emotionally attached. I know that's like a cardinal sin to say or admit on this board... but in reality any real world relationship with merit has emotional attachment. I can however walk away from it although I'll admit I'll be hurt.... Still I am confident I can reason over my emotions.. that's what makes a real man IMHO

The thing you have to realize is that I've been in other LTRs in the past... a break up from my previous one is what lead me to do my approach journal. They all seem to be similar in that there are disagreements and the women become emotional for no objectively valid reason at all..... Experience has taught me to accept this and roll with the punches.... What's unfortunate is that I now view relationships and marriage as business rather than pure emotionally love. When it comes to to these things I am pragmatic as I see copious unhappy marriages and couples out there. This is why I am inclined to cheat.. Not so much that I think it is right because I can no way justify that but more so because I don't want to miss out on doing these things in my youth. If its any consolation at all I've adapted an ethical/moral law to try my best not to hurt anyone's feelings.

Iqqi

It would turn me off completely if my girl cheated or disrespected me in a similar nature. That would be grounds for dismissal.

Jitter and Jophil

Both your arguments have merit to them. I think the key is to just do a physical activity together to help the weight loss.

Backbreaker

I agree.

Radiodude

I do get turned on by her. The only thing the fat discourages me from doing is oral sex... but I never was that into that anyway and can certainly live without it.

 

[thefonz]

Have her watch Jack Lalanne videos....seriously!!

I'm a health consious guy and constantly practicing what I preach. You should be the same way because health should be a number 1 priority for living a fulfulling life.

My friend once said to me, "I think you're the only guy I know who bothers to take care of himself. Sometimes it's annoying, but you really are careful about what you put in your body. Nobody else I know does that."

Be the change you wish to see. All these other guys are devising mind-games to play with your girl to get her thin. In the long run they will fail. Be a teacher, an example...being a women, she will follow your lead.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Be the change you wish to see. All these other guys are devising mind-games to play with your girl to get her thin. In the long run they will fail. Be a teacher, an example...being a women, she will follow your lead.

Exactly positive leading, encourage a healthier lifestyle by your example. Make it a team effort, as in 'we' as a team need to get more active.

If she doesn't follow your lead through her actions, that will tell you something. Also, if she does start losing weight, compliment her. Plant the seed in her mind that she's doing great and she'll most likely keep it up.

Also, what's her mom like? If her mom has short hair, bossy, and weighs in at 400lbs...you're fvcked in the long run.

 

[Reyaj]

Thank you all

 

[Reyaj]

So I'm still ambivalent... one day I can be with her and be so happy.... Sometimes when I'm not and I start thinking about other girls in purely a physical sense I still want to bone a bunch more. Other times I'm with her and we fight (every relationship has arguments fyi haters) and I definitely want to bang other women. Then I'm with her and I stop c&fing and actually am nice and its such a comforting feeling....

Point is I've been in this game so long to see that most girls are really $#(#9 up. The woman I am with appreciates me so much and treats me so well. When I'm broke she actually comes and cooks for me or takes me out. So I don't mind treating her well because she deserved it.

I'm just confused as to whether I should live some lifestyle of being around beautiful women (absolutely no warmth) or be around my cute girlfriend who is a little heavy but loves me to death...

I'll keep posting to this thread if for nothing else just my digression of my random thoughts

 

[izza]

Some of you may be familiar with the journey I set out on to become a Don Juan. I had been a long time lurker on this board digesting theory after theory when finally something lit a fire under me to go out and do real approaches. This was honestly the best thing I ever did in terms of realizing the truth about women and the so called “dating game” we all seem to be sucked into. I encourage anyone who is patient and has spare time on their hands to read it http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=77857&highlight=jayer

After completing this journal I told myself that I would leave this board to continue my real world approaching and focus on other aspects of my life. I held true to this however I am now in varied state of confusion that compels me to write this post.

I suppose I will start with what transpired after completion of 100 approaches; I continued and do continue to approach when I am out socially. This eventually led me to meeting a woman I am currently in an LTR with. I had approached, number closed her rapidly, followed up, went out, hooked up, had sex, continued seeing her and ended up in an LTR. If anyone earned the LTR it was her… she doesn’t play games (or at least as much as an average girl), she cares for me, she does me favors without expecting anything in return which range from buying me random gifts to cooking or taking me out to dinner. I obviously reciprocate this because I appreciate her gestures and the fact that there actually exists a woman with good natured values.

So now for the issues; 1st and foremost this starts with me and I believe I possess the bulk of it. Half of the time I feel content with being 1 woman man and the other times I feel like I still want to screw some other women for sexual gratification alone. Although these are mostly things I tell myself because I see married people who are older and I feel I should get out of my system what I need to do with different women. However when I have sex with my girlfriend I am satisfied and I don’t think like this. These are forced thoughts that I tell myself to prevent oneitis. In regards to my girlfriend’s physical appearance… well when I met her she was cute (not hot hot as I’ve been with hot girls who had personalities worse than hell) but cute, sweet and affectionate. That’s all I ever wanted. I’d rather have a cute girl that loves me to no end, than a super hot girl that is selfish and that I constantly have to play games to keep the IL high. But since we’ve been in our LTR my girlfriend has gained considerable weight. This of course bothers me so I finally brought it up to her yesterday so lets see if this changes this.
I can go on and on of how many twisted and contradictory thoughts my mind has but I’ll try to sum it up like this; One of my goals in life is to get married and have a family, another goal is to live a player lifestyle and have beautiful women copiously. I am 30 years old and my current girlfriend is looking for engagement in the next year. If I were to settle down she is the type that could be a good wife and a good mother. If I don’t do it its back into the game again and we know how the tribulations that endures. Then again I have a cynical view on marriage since most end in divorced and I know so few happy couples. But then again I hear the dogma about starting a family as being progressive step in one’s life. There are equally a lot of older single people who are out there searching for someone and probably regret not getting married when they were younger and starting a family. I love my girlfriend but I am not in love as I’ve built a thick skin for ever letting an emotion like that control me. That’s what this game has done to me. Maybe the key is to just let go… or maybe its to keep your feelings in check and have sexual escapades on the side. If I am married I don’t think I’d want to be a habitual cheater so maybe I can fornicate with other women now and then cease (or try to) when I do tie the knot. Maybe my girlfriend will find out somehow and it would be over.

As you can see I’m past the point of meeting and hooking up with women or am I? What’s sad is that I’m 30 and I’m just as confused now as I was 10 years ago.

It sounds like you haven't even considered non-monogamy or polyamory. That's why you're stuck forcing a false choice between being wonderful for your gf and being intimate with other people. This sounds more like a problem of imagination or knowledge than a real problem.

Although my understanding is that you have only viewed a tiny % of the articles and links and videos I've forwarded for your benefit, since I apparently love wasting my time, I will attach this article discussing the evidence against monogamy in over 90% of species, including our own:

http://www.canadiancrc.com/Newspaper_Articles/Globe_and_Mail_Moms_Little_secret_14DEC02.aspx

Izza