Jaded with women, dating, & relationships.

[Cheiradawg]

This banwaggon needs derailing!

There has been alot of thought and effort put into this post. However creative syntax and SAT words do not necessarly translate to corectness.

Why do we as human hurt? Physically we hurt when something goes wrong with our bodies. Mentally we hurt when we do not understand the world correctly. The pain that we feel is there for a reason. It is a clear sign that our actions or our thoughts are not on the right page.

Now where in the world did this notion of a woman as a lifelong companion come from? Society invented it. It does not make sense to keep a woman as alife long partner.

Here I would like to ask the orginal poster some questions:
1)Where in the world did you you find the arrogance to assume that there is some woman out there that has to fit your needs perfectly? This is crazy talk.

2)How do you know that having this perfect woman will stop the pain that you are feeling?

You feel a void in your life and you are blaiming it on women. You expect some woman to be your "host." lol!



This post is missing a the fundemental tool that a DJ is complete by himself.

 

[JB101]

I've been down this road before. Everywhere you turn, you are meeting the wrong girls.

The solution is really easy though. You have to become more pro active and look in the right places.

Here in Los Angeles, there is a 35 year old bombshell Brazilian woman that I know. An HB 9.0 who lights up a room when she walks into it. She has a 6 figure job, she's kind, funny, flirtatious, playful, honest and giving. She volunteers at her church as a counselor. She's involved in many women's groups. Just an amazing catch all the way around.

Bottom line, what are the chances of finding this type of person at the local Hooters restaurant or the sleazy bar down the street? Highly unlikely.

These catches are out there, but they get covered up by the media and mainstream society.

Start raising your standards. I've eliminated women that smoke, that have addictions, drugs, no passion in life, and just trashy women. Why waste your time with that?

Go to museums, concerts, volunteer events, charity events, self improvement seminars. The quality is out there.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

The problem is that women have lost their femininity and are acting out of character from what their feminine nature intended!!

It is their femininity that attracts us to them - what happens when this natural elixir is corrupted?? That's right - we corrupt ourselves by accepting such damaged goods and once conquered we feel empty because what we conquered is nothingness!!

It feels good to conquer a woman who is a challenge and one who holds to her true feminine self. But what is it to conquer one who has been conquered and thus corrupted many times by many men?? She has become trite and valueless! Thus our chagrin and disappointment as men to have hold of an empty vessel!

Such has been my life, woe is me!!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Cheiradawg, read PuertoRican_Lover's post "The natural order of things - Sexuality defined and explained". He gives a keen insight into the natural proclivity for man and woman to belong and mate with one another under the dictum "Sexuality is the duality that creates life"!!!

 

[Ice Cold]

1)Where in the world did you you find the arrogance to assume that there is some woman out there that has to fit your needs perfectly? This is crazy talk.

2)How do you know that having this perfect woman will stop the pain that you are feeling?

Hell yeah.

Why would a girl read books? They don't wanna work. Books are not stimulating for them... unless it's a romance, where she dreams of getting a good husband. They want to just marry and have a good time at your expense.

She has to be fit and good looking? Ok, there are beautiful girls out there. But you have to count in that there's gonna be dozens of afc who are gonna be happy putting up with her games just to be with a beautiful woman.

Where's the girls who take an active interest in life?

They do take a very active interest. Their whole existense is centered around avoidance of work and responsibilities and finding someone to pay for their fun and games.

In reading?

Nope. They find it boring. Romance only.

In art?

Why would they need art? If she's beautiful, men are gonna be happy just being around with her.

In the pursuit of pleasures not so sinful and disdainful?

They don't understand such things. Noble ideals don't appeal to them, because something noble demands sacrifice and work. They will not accept it, and would prefer something that requires less effort.

That enable a woman to talk, and seduce, to attract, and love?

You want a woman who can talk, seduce and love. But, if she's beautiful, she's going to have men available to her without it.

Is it too idealistic a view...or is this where you find a lifelong partner, if that's EVEN possible these days?

Of course it's too idealistic. A woman you want will have to be moral, shielded from all feministic movements, attractive, well read and educated.

I dare say it's impossible to find such in america.

Is this the blue versus red pill incident, where the grasp on humanity or complete avoidance of reality is accepted or rejected?

Looks like it is.

Some people can't accept the idea that you cease to exist after death. They have to invent "afterlifes", spirits etc...

Some people can't accept the fact that a journey through life is a lonesome one, even though you may be with lots of people during your way. They can't accept that a most of the time you just have to shut up and shovel the fukking grovel, with rare "good moments"... So they have to invent disney fantasies, of finding a perfect mate who is gonna fix your life and make you happy.

You have the evidence. You know the truth. Are you mature enough to accept it yet?

 

[CLOONEY]

Re: This banwaggon needs derailing!

Originally posted by Cheiradawg
There has been alot of thought and effort put into this post. However creative syntax and SAT words do not necessarly translate to corectness.

Why do we as human hurt? Physically we hurt when something goes wrong with our bodies. Mentally we hurt when we do not understand the world correctly. The pain that we feel is there for a reason. It is a clear sign that our actions or our thoughts are not on the right page.

Now where in the world did this notion of a woman as a lifelong companion come from? Society invented it. It does not make sense to keep a woman as alife long partner.

Here I would like to ask the orginal poster some questions:
1)Where in the world did you you find the arrogance to assume that there is some woman out there that has to fit your needs perfectly? This is crazy talk.

2)How do you know that having this perfect woman will stop the pain that you are feeling?

You feel a void in your life and you are blaiming it on women. You expect some woman to be your "host." lol!



This post is missing a the fundemental tool that a DJ is complete by himself.

lol, society did not tell us to have a woman as our companion. It is in our souls!! It has been ever since the human race was invented!! If not one then more, but u definately need someone there firm in your life as a companion. They are not going to fit you perfectly, but u can sort it out with a good woman. I am yet to see someone go through their lives single and be happy. I have seen MANY fukced up relationships and marriages, but at least I have seen some who are happy.

 

[CLOONEY]

As to the post. lol, yeah I have dated and got to know so many beautiful girls. I suppose I am starting to become "jaded" at the possibility of finding a good one again. Only ever found one so far (but that ended after a year or two of sh*t), and thats out of a LOT of girls I have dated, prob about 70 by now.

So there are your ODDS, 70/1 your date will be a success. Lol, no wonder I am "jaded".

 

[Austin Allegro]

Excellent post - good to see some serious debate back here again.

I have to disagree with anyone looking for 'the one' and thinking that a woman will fill some kind of void in their life. This is just wrong - if you make someone your god, you will end up hating them because they will inevitably fall short.

It's in human nature to seek some blissful, perfect state of contentment - this has been called salvation, Nirvana, romantic love, or, the latest one, 'personal fulfillment'.

It's also in human nature to always feel discontented - if we didn't, we'd never have crawled out of the primeval mud, or discovered fire, or the wheel, or language.

So we can't ever feel completely 'contented' or 'fulfilled' - we can only strive to improve ourselves.

This applies to women and relationships - unless you're happy in yourself, you will never be happy with a woman. A DJ doesn't NEED women - women simply become an extra bonus. Modern society promotes romantic love as the universal panacea, a form of secular salvation - it's ALL AN ILLUSION from which a few people make a lot of money, and a lot of people get a lot of misery.

 

[CLOONEY]

I still dont get it.

So all you saying u dont need a companion and are NEVER planning to get married or at least have a long-term companion? U would rather be single forever?

I am not saying you cant be happy without one, but you can definately be happier or more content with one. Providing you get a good one that is. And no I am not saying there is "the one".

I am just argueing the case that it is in our souls as human beings to want a companion. Those saying the media has blinded us and made us think this, are, well in my book, a little bit jaded by the media themselves, thinking they are far superior in their philisophical ideas than others...............

 

[squirrels]

Re: Re: This banwaggon needs derailing!

Originally posted by CLOONEY
lol, society did not tell us to have a woman as our companion. It is in our souls!! It has been ever since the human race was invented!! If not one then more, but u definately need someone there firm in your life as a companion. They are not going to fit you perfectly, but u can sort it out with a good woman. I am yet to see someone go through their lives single and be happy. I have seen MANY fukced up relationships and marriages, but at least I have seen some who are happy.

Yeah, but I think you missed the point:

1)Where in the world did you you find the arrogance to assume that there is some woman out there that has to fit your needs perfectly? This is crazy talk.

What he means, if I may, is that people often develop this "list of needs" they have which aren't really needs, just everything that the person WANTS in a mate, then they go out and try to find someone who can fulfill EVERY SINGLE ONE of those desires. Not only does such a person usually not exist, but relationships are a two-way street...what makes these people think that if they FIND this magic woman who fulfills all their needs that THEY fulfill all HER needs? If you have so many needs, you don't have a lot to offer. Why should SHE have to suffer so you can be happy?

2)How do you know that having this perfect woman will stop the pain that you are feeling?

You feel a void in your life and you are blaiming it on women. You expect some woman to be your "host." lol!


This is key. You're talking about "a companion." A companion's responsibility shouldn't be to fill the gaping holes in your own life. It should be to enhance your life and provide an outlook and facilities not normally accessible to a single solitary person.

I'm not saying that it's unnatural to want a companion...only that it's unnatural to dictate the exact specifications of the companion you want and then go searching for that person because we really don't know WHAT we want in a companion until we find it.

Sometimes we find exactly what we were looking for and realize that it doesn't make us happy like we thought it would. Sometimes we spend our lives trying to fit people to a mold that's nearly impossible to fill and we end up melancholy and jaded because we feel like there's "no one out there for us."

This is just us fighting nature...trying to assert our own human socio-economic way of thinking onto an instinctual coupling mechanism that has kept us alive for millenia. Maybe one day we WILL come up with a system that works as well or better than nature, but this sure as hell isn't it.

As Tyler Durden would say, "Stop trying to control everything and just LET GO."

 

[Cheiradawg]

There are two opposing view points in this thread.
From these two opposing view points there emerge two phylosopies.

View points:
1) The vast majority of women have been jaded. There feminenity is no longer what it used to be. (whatever it used to be I wasn't alive back then)

2) Even tho the fast majority of women have been jaded there are a few diamonds in the rough that are still true women, and they are capable of being found if the proper work is done.

Phylosopies:
1) Sense the vast majority of women have been jaded and are no longer what we as men need, then we have to settle for what is left. If we are going to settle for what is left then we must employ the same tactics that the jaded women do only in male terms. Sense most women are of low quality it is best to assume that any particular one we run accross is also of poor quality. This is because the work required to screen them for their ture self is too high in comparison with the expected pay off. If we employ the proper tacitcs to deal with the low quality women then the expected pay off is higher becuase indeed most women are of poor quality.

2) This differs from the first only in the respect that the payoff of screen and finding a good woman is higher than what we gain out of dealing with the low quality ones.


It might be a matter of individual preferances. As one gets older (as I can only speculate) then the cost of finding a good one is lower than the payoff when we actually find them.

However I have diffrent preferences. I still prefer sex and excitement over the prefect woman. This might be the ture definitioin of jaded or the true definition of a young man.

 

[Cheiradawg]

^^^ and away!

 

[EternalBachelor]

A quote that I have always liked is the following:
"The worst thing you can give a man is that which he truly desires"

It is silly to have a narrow view of what your type of girl is. There are lots of girls out there all with different qualities. What men really need from a girl is someone who is attractive, loyal, giving and will do anything for them. If she is super intelligent, a philosopher etc that is just icing on the cake. You would be better off finding an intelligent guy friend to philosophise with and discuss literature, as guys have far more interest in ideas and concepts than most women.

But I agree there are very few quality girls out there. You just have to resist the temptation to settle down until you find one. The whole point of DJing in my view is moulding yourself into the sort of man who is able to attract one of these girls.

I was getting rather disillusioned with DJing recently, but then I met a girl. She is gorgeous in a feminine old fashioned sort of way. She is intelligent and has a sharp wit. She is sweet and good natured and extremely classy. Of course I blew it, but meeting girls like that gives me the motivation to keep on working on improving myself so that next time a girl like that comes along, I will not fail.