I've realized that i'm pretty much an a$$hole

[Jokerlsk]

Throughout my life I've always believed that I was special, that i was born to actually do something worth doing. I've always been condescending towards people less fortunate than me, and I've been called insensitive and a jerk throughout my entire life. The problem with me is that i seriously have terrible self-esteem, and i don't know why. From the outside looking in, it seems like I'm the most confident person in the world. I have a ton of friends, but the problem is that they're all guys, and they all agree that i am a douchebag. Don't get me wrong, they think i'm hilarious, but it's only funny because of how mean it really is. I just find so much **** wrong with people, and instead of working on my flaws, i'm trying to discover other peoples to make up for my own. It's like I have false confidence, and ****iness.

I take things way too far with girls, I've made them cry, i've told them to wear more makeup, etc. And when i say this stuff, it's like i actually mean it. I don't know how to build attraction, I just don't. When a girl first meets me they like me. I come off as confident, and they like that, but I can't translate that later on, and i don't know why. It's like once i actually become attracted to a girl, I become some *******. I actually think i do this because i'm afraid. I'm afraid of having a relationship, i'm afraid of what a person truly thinks of me, i'm afraid of myself. Don't get me wrong, i'm a good kid. I don't party, or drink, or smoke, or sleep around, I just have this good, smart kid reputation that i can't break either. Girls look at me as a goody-goody, and it's because that's the reputation i want. When they see me talking to my friends they're shocked. Most people don't even know I cuss. Alot of my problem is that my friends are considered really good looking, girls always try to befriend me so I can hook them up with my friends, and after a while it gets really old, and makes me feel worse about myself. I'm not ugly, but i'm not super attractive either, and it just gets old.

I'm just sick of this image i've made myself, i'm sick of the way i treat people, I'm sick of not being able to be myself.

 

[Tarzan the Ape Man!]

Tarzan say: Listen to Tarzan wtchdoctor like advice young warrior! You have much to be proud of! You were placed on this earth for a GOOD reason! So you KNOW you have faults! We all do! Even your PERFECT warrior friends! Even Tarzan the mighty Ape Man! Even in MOUNTAINS of posts from other sosuave warriors! God doesn't make garbage! It is what WE make of ourselfs! WE are accountable! Pick yourself up off Jungle floor and You must look at self in eyes in mirror when alone and tell yourself using your real warrior name that YOU LOVE YOURSELF! If you don't then others will be able to feel that aura around you! Some young Warriors use word daggers to hurt others because they do not feel good about oneself and want to appear like a hurtful warrior to others before they THINK the other will do it to them! Before you think of mean word daggers to use...count to ten...and then slap oneself with you naughty little monkey paw! Take walk around you jungle villiage with head held high and proud and practice waving at others while you smile and say hello! People will see NEW young sosuave warrior and respond in kind! Jungle respond to POSITIVE energy with POSITIVE energy! You will see! Villagers will wonder! NEW and BETTER lady friends will be drawn to NEW IMPROVED young warrior! If you feel like a negative hole in hind quarters then you will come across as naughty red buttocked baboon with hemmoroids! And you will talk lots of dung! And then need to brush onself fangs with A+D ointment! Unga Bunga Boo!

 

[Mofongo]

You seem to have 2 personalities, not like a "crazy" person, in front of certain people you are one way and in front of others you are another.
What you need to do is to merge both together and find a balance and like Tarzan said, think before you speak.

 

[1337]

word to what tarzan said unga bunga. Motongo hit it spot on hes 100% right you need to merge your two sides and be comfortable with yourself and not seek the approval of others,

 

[Mr. Bond]

I used to have the same problem. I didn't value myself, and because of that I acted like an a**hole to women. I was afraid to show my real personality, risk it all and put my feelings out there. I thought if I let a girl know (physically or verbally) that I thought she was hot, that it was a sign of weakness. I ended up with a lot of crying girls, and none of them were into me.

So what turned things around for me? All my problems originated in the fact that I didn't respect myself, and deep down I didn't feel worthy of hot women. The solution was to work on myself.

First off, I did an exercise. Write a list of all your positive traits, no matter how big or small. Then remind yourself of these traits at least once a day. Repeat them over and over. For example, one of mine was "I love how musical I am."

After a week or so of that, make a list of all the things that you don't like about yourself. Take a look at the list and fix them. Break your goals up into smaller goals to help along the way. For example, a couple of mine were "I don't like how skinny my arms are" and "I don't like how lazy I am." Well guess what? I've made a lot of progress on both of those, and I feel much better about myself.

Admitting the things you did is a big start. Now take the next step and start working on those problems!

 

[Warrior74]

knowing is half the battle, (the other half is violence and death). Now that you know, go to war to fix it.

 

[Jokerlsk]

One of my good friends told me one time when we were fighting that I cling to my intelligence as a crutch because it's the only thing i have on people. The more I think about it, I realize how true it really is. I make sure people know that I'm smart because when I look at all my positive traits, that's my strongest one. I'm not the most athletic, I'm not the funniest, and I'm not even the smartest, but I'm smarter than most people.

I just think it's funny how much of myself i can be with my guy friends, but then when girls are introduced to the equation I fold. I can't be myself, i think that they'll reject who i really am, and that hurts the most. If i put up a shield of insensitiveness then i'm already setting myself up to fail. I'm afraid of failing, i'm afraid of rejection, I'm afraid of what someone REALLY thinks of me.

All of my friends think I"m hilarious. They really do, they think i'm a funny guy, and one of my best friends told me that I'm too sensitive and i get fired up too easily. He told me that I notice every single flaw about a person, and then use it against them, and I really do, and it's just so ****ing messed up and sadistic. But why do i care so much? Why do i give a **** about what people think of me? I put up this bull**** facade every day that I don't care about what someone thinks, and the truth of the matter is that a lot of people believe it. They think i'm sincere when i say this, and they look up to me for it. All of my friends who are less popular than me, or aren't as fortunate or anything.

i just don't no how to fix it. i'm truly an arrogant guy. I'm insincere, insensitive, and i'm basically a jackass in the eyes of girls, but they don't really know the real me. I get called a jerk or an ******* basically every day of my life, but the ironic part is that i'm not really like that. I actually feel really bad about what i say, and I struggle with myself to define what integrity actually is. The thing with me is that I couldn't allow myself to have a one night stand, I can't let myself fall to peer pressure, and do drugs or drink or anything. It's just a struggle

 

[chuk15]

I wish I knew myself as well as the OP does.

 

[Jokerlsk]

The fact of the matter is that you do know yourself, Chuk15. Everyone knows who they are, it's just that reality sets in and you either: are afraid of who you are, hate who you are, or don't know how to express who you are. I know who i am, and I like who i am, but i just don't know how to express who I truly am, so I become this fake persona, and it just seems to control me.

 

[Deniska]

You seem to have 2 personalities, not like a "crazy" person, in front of certain people you are one way and in front of others you are another.
What you need to do is to merge both together and find a balance and like Tarzan said, think before you speak.

What he said, and you need to find a balance between the two people that you have with in you. Know when to be a d1ck and know when to be a good person.


Try practicing being a good person for a while no matter how difficult it may seem. Even if some one tells you: "fyck you jack ass!". You say with a big smile: " i love you too!"

Remember the times you had to call customer service about some bill issue or do to poor quality service, and you were pissed off to the point you just wanted to shoot everyone? So you ripped a new hole in that persons ass on the phone? Next time, talk to that person in the most pleasant voice possible... you'll be surprised how much help you will get in return. Unless you have already done it, so that would be a good example and as a good practice to you on daily basis.

Anyone can say "fyck you", but it takes a bigger man to say "thank you".

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Throughout my life I've always believed that I was special, that i was born to actually do something worth doing. I've always been condescending towards people less fortunate than me, and I've been called insensitive and a jerk throughout my entire life. The problem with me is that i seriously have terrible self-esteem, and i don't know why. From the outside looking in, it seems like I'm the most confident person in the world. I have a ton of friends, but the problem is that they're all guys, and they all agree that i am a douchebag. Don't get me wrong, they think i'm hilarious, but it's only funny because of how mean it really is. I just find so much **** wrong with people, and instead of working on my flaws, i'm trying to discover other peoples to make up for my own. It's like I have false confidence, and ****iness.

I take things way too far with girls, I've made them cry, i've told them to wear more makeup, etc. And when i say this stuff, it's like i actually mean it. I don't know how to build attraction, I just don't. When a girl first meets me they like me. I come off as confident, and they like that, but I can't translate that later on, and i don't know why. It's like once i actually become attracted to a girl, I become some *******. I actually think i do this because i'm afraid. I'm afraid of having a relationship, i'm afraid of what a person truly thinks of me, i'm afraid of myself. Don't get me wrong, i'm a good kid. I don't party, or drink, or smoke, or sleep around, I just have this good, smart kid reputation that i can't break either. Girls look at me as a goody-goody, and it's because that's the reputation i want. When they see me talking to my friends they're shocked. Most people don't even know I cuss. Alot of my problem is that my friends are considered really good looking, girls always try to befriend me so I can hook them up with my friends, and after a while it gets really old, and makes me feel worse about myself. I'm not ugly, but i'm not super attractive either, and it just gets old.

I'm just sick of this image i've made myself, i'm sick of the way i treat people, I'm sick of not being able to be myself.

Expose your flaws and correct them.